The Pudding Club Pontifications
The Remains of the EU’s Day
Pudding Club members discuss whether the future of Europe depends on breaking up the EU so everyone can come together.
In their continuing quest to achieve sufficient fortification to withstand the rigours of a London winter Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched on steak and kidney pudding at the Club last week with a particularly robust Cotes de Rhone and thermal long-johns for added insurance.
“I say” exclaimed His Lordship “I’ve just realised that the EU could be terminal”
“How so?” asked Sir Rah
“Well we’re leaving” replied His Lordship “and if that Le Pen woman and that Wilders guy win in France and the Netherlands that means there will be a Frexit and a Nexit”
“And if Angela gets knocked off later this year” pointed out the General “by the Mein Kampf Party there’d be nothing left in the EU that could bail all the rest out”
“Don’t forget Scotland and Lichtenstein” commented Sir Rah
“It’s quite staggering” announced the General “when you consider that all this uprising in the EU was sparked by Nigel. In time to come his extraordinary contribution to mankind will be recognised by having pubs named after him”
“Have you considered” asked Sir Rah “the full implication for the UK if Le Pen, Wilders and the German far right all seize power together?”
“Absolutely” proclaimed the General “it will bring about the biggest renaissance in Europe since all those painter chappies started exhibiting their work in the Louvre and did all that graffiti stuff on ceilings”
“What you have to keep in mind” cautioned Sir Rah “is that if far right populist politicians come to power across Europe they could be a bigger pain in the perpendicular than the EU”
“I don’t know about that old chap” responded the General “because for a start we wouldn’t have to pay membership fees to be part of the club and when Nigel becomes PM we’ll all go forward together with Trump unless he’s joined up with Putin in Russia by then”
“Are you absolutely sure?” asked Sir Rah “that the whole thing wouldn’t end up again as a total disaster on Dunkirk beaches?”
“That’s never going to happen” claimed His Lordship “because all the refugees from France, the Netherlands and Germany will fly here rather than wait for us to pick them up by boat”