Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Rock and Role

Rock and Role

Friday 1 May, 2015
The Think Tank comes up with a breakthrough concept to establish Jacqui as a role model for Australian women and a role wrecker for Australian men.
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Jacqui Lambie Think Tank masthead

Glad’s Tea Rooms just outside Launceston were last week again the location of choice for a meeting of Jacqui’s Think Tank.

Nazel Hare, Randy Mayle, Prof. Penny Wise and Jacqui all enjoyed a generous serving of Glad’s home-made lamingtons.

“I think it’s time” said Jacqui “to promote me as the role model for Australian women”

“Are you kidding?” asked Randy “If all Aussie women aspired to be like you all Aussie men would have to aspire to become like Clive for self-protection”

“Breaking through the glass ceiling is no longer enough for women” said Jacqui “we have to break some balls as well”
“I couldn’t agree more Jacqui” said Nazel “where do we start?”

“Well first of all” replied Jackie ‘I thought I’d give a speech in Parliament claiming Abbott is a misogynist”

“I think that’s a very sound strategic approach” said Penny ”but the electorate decided they preferred a misogynist to Julia”

“And people might think you’re just saying that” said Randy “because Abbott refused to go out on a date with you”

“That was years ago” said Jacqui “when I was young and incredibly seductive. It wasn’t a case of misogyny but simply a failure to rise to the occasion.”

“Wouldn’t it be great” said Nazel “if you could get Abbott call you a misandrist. You’d immediately gain the support of every woman in the country apart from Margie and Bronnie”

“That’s right” agreed Penny “as the symbol of women’s implacable hatred for Abbott you’d be the instant role model for millions”

“Don’t you think” asked Jacqui “that it would hardly be credible for an icon of fashion and femininity like me to harbour such harridan hatred?”

“Not at all” replied Penny “venom and bile are all part of your unique charm”

“Okay” said Jacqui ‘then how do I get him to call me a misandrist?”

“Tell him that while you’re outraged by his pay package for the Armed Forces” suggested Randy “it’s nowhere near as ridiculous as the package between his legs”

“Bribe his speechwriter” suggested Nazel

“Introduce a private members bill” said Penny “to legislate that women have a right to sex but men have to get a licence”

“Brilliant” said Jacqui “and I’ll be on the licensing board and personally reject Abbott’s application to practise. That should do it”

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About this Series
Friday Mash has gained exclusive access to the intellectual powerhouse behind the Lambie political phenomenon. Jacqui has assembled a Think Tank comprising the best minds in Tasmania. Nazel Hare is Jacqui’s campaign manager and President of the Lambie for PM Movement, Randy Mayle is the leader of the Tasmanics a star-studded group of star studs and Professor Penny Wise is the Head of Business Studies at Burnie University. The Think Tank meets regularly at Glad’s Tea Rooms just outside Launceston and Friday Mash will bring you regular reports of their intellectual discourse.

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