Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Running Scared

Running Scared

Friday 1 July, 2016
At the latest campaign briefing by the ACTU Ged and Dave tell Bill he’s got to become even scarier despite the risk he could come back to haunt them.
The story starts here...

The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper heading

“Our idea about a Mediscare campaign” said Ged “has proved an absolute winner”

“And it’s much easier to scare people” said Bill “than to talk about policies”

“Nevertheless I think we’ve got to go even scarier” asserted Dave “because people are beginning to question whether anybody would be dumb enough to buy something like Medicare that is losing $14 billion a year”

“Are you thinking we should give Work Choices another run?” said Ged

“It’s tempting of course” replied Dave “but after the Royal Commission findings the public might think it’s a good idea”

“Look” declared Bill “I could mount a very scary campaign about the dangers of an Abbott comeback

“After weeks of you and Malcolm crapping on like catatonic chooks” said Ged “even that prospect might come as a welcome relief”

“We need a scare campaign” observed Dave “that is so unashamedly shocking it fatally terrifies people into voting for you”

“I’ve got it” said Ged “we should announce that there will be a carbon tax under any government that Malcolm leads”

“That sounds promising” said Bill thoughtfully

“People won’t vote for Malcolm if they think he’s going to impose a carbon tax” said Ged “but on the other hand people who want action on climate change won’t vote for him either because they’ll be convinced he’ll renege on the promise just like Julia

“But don’t you believe” asked Bill “that the people who believed Julia when she said she wouldn’t introduce a carbon tax and voted for her wouldn’t now as a consequence believe Malcolm if he said he would introduce one and so would vote for him?”

“I’ve absolutely got it this time” said Ged suddenly “we should launch a simply stultifying scare campaign claiming that Malcolm intends to privatise climate change

“Brilliant” exclaimed Bill’

“We could reveal that he intends to sell it off to Google or Facebook in direct contravention of the Paris Agreement” said Ged “and they would stand to make a fortune from a monopoly on renewable carbon neutral hot-air energy supplied through on-line and mobiles”

“That could even be sufficiently scary to propel me into The Lodge” said Bill  excitedly

“I know” said Dave “now there’s a really frightening thought”

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About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
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