Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Indiana Joe Crusades

Say It Ain’t So Joe

Say It Ain’t So Joe

Friday 24 April, 2015
Read how Joe is going to any lengths to locate the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus in case Colin Barnett finds it first and only hands over 10 cents in the dollar.
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Indiana Joe and the Raiders of the Lost Budget Surplus

“There’s only a week or two left” said Miss Triss Joe’s veteran assistant “before you have to front the country and announce in your budget speech whether you’ve found the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus”

“I’m still no closer to finding it” said Joe “I’m thinking it might have gone down on MH 370”

“I think China could have nicked it” said Miss Triss

“I suppose it’s possible” said Joe “that it’s gone down the same toilet as the iron ore prices they’re paying”

“I wonder if the Labor Party have got any ideas?” asked Miss Triss

“The Labor Party only has ideas about deficits” said Joe” surpluses are well above their pay grade. It’s true they had a bit of interest in them while Wayne was Treasurer but that was only because he couldn’t tell the difference between a surplus and a deficit and kept announcing surpluses when in fact they were all deficits”

“What about the Greens?” asked Miss Triss “perhaps they might have an idea where the Lost Surplus could be?”

“The Greens are some of the most destructive budget raiders in the world” replied Joe “if they’d found it they’d have purchased the Queen Mary by now and presented it to the people smugglers”

“What about Clive?” asked Ms Triss

“If he’d known where it was” replied Joe “he’d have built Titanic II by now and sold it to the people smugglers

“Oh there’s the phone” said Miss Triss and picked it up “Hello Tony, yes the budget is taking shape nicely. No we haven’t located the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus yet but the good news is we are about to identify how great the budget would look if we found it in time. No it isn’t at Crown Casino because we’ve already searched the joint. No I don’t think there’s any point in you talking to Joe because if you give him another bollocking over the Lost Surplus he’ll only start binge eating again. Please give my best to Margie

“Who was that?” asked Joe

“Oh it was only Tony” said Miss Triss “he was just interested in how the budget is shaping up”

“He promised he’d get Malcolm to find the Lost Surplus” said Joe

“Yes but you know what Tony’s like with promises” commented Miss Triss


About this Series
Joe has dedicated himself to finding the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus despite the resolute efforts of Raiders to thwart him. His crusade to get his budget through the Senate is blocked by rampant Raiders like Bill, Christine and Clive but Joe will find a way even if it means doctors making co-payments to patients.

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