Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Should have Gone To Bunnings

Should have Gone To Bunnings

Friday 12 February, 2016
Felicity Farthardly, Friday Mash’s Head of Research Services, invites this week’s focus group to opine on the expenditure of fifteen million dollars to cover up the cracks in The Lodge.
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FridayMash Focus Group

“Welcome to this vital focus group session” said Felicity “Today I shall be seeking your views on whether the expenditure of fifteen million dollars on refurbishing The Lodge was a worthwhile investment of taxpayers’ money.

What do you think Gladys?”

“It’s an absolute rort” replied Gladys “our Ethel’s Frank could have done it for a third of the price”

“I don’t know though” said Bert “the First Bloke might have caused a lot of damage when he tried to convert the joint into a Men’s Shed”

“And Kevin probably stuffed the roof” observed Gladys “trying to install Pink Batts

“Don’t you believe though” queried Felicity “that the PM’s residence should be suitably prestigious?”

Malcolm and Lucy are seldom there” responded Sissy “because even after a fifteen million upgrade it’s still not a patch on their pad at Point Piper and they’ve got that other official residence with a much better view overlooking Sydney Harbour”

“Do you not feel it’s mandatory” asked Felicity “that the PM has a stately home within cooee of our seat of government where he can entertain visiting dignitaries?”

“We’ll soon have to build a palatial pad for the President of the Republic” replied Bert “so they can go there instead”

“What’s more” said Beryl “for fifteen million dollars they could have built a spanking new pied-a terre for the PM in Canberra and paid for it by selling off The Lodge as a block of apartments”

“How would you feel” asked Felicity “if The Lodge was opened up more to the public and perhaps made available for private functions?”

“Bloody good idea” replied Bert enthusiastically “it certainly has the potential to make a quid while Malcolm and Lucy are away. You couldn’t find a more impressive place for a dirty weekend”

“I’d be much more in favour of spending fifteen million on The Lodge” said Gladys “if I stood a chance of staying there. No-one I know has even received an official invitation to use the toilets”

“What do you perceive as the most significant outcome” asked Felicity “from this upgrade of The Lodge?”

“It was timed to perfection” replied Sissy “to ensure that Tony Abbott didn’t benefit from it”

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About this Series
No politician who is serious about acting in Australia’s best interests would dream of taking a key decision before first checking with Felicity Farthardly who is widely recognised as one of the country’s leading experts on the public’s political needs and attitudes. She’s the researcher who can always be relied on to ask the right questions provided she’s been briefed beforehand on the right answers

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