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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Taking Leave Of Their Senses

Taking Leave Of Their Senses

Friday 29 April, 2016
Pudding Club members discuss whether closer ties with Panama would be of more benefit to the UK than membership of the EU.
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched at the Club last week on Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding and a really quite mellifluous 2009 Margaux.

“I say “said His Lordship “I see the Brexit campaign has kicked off”

“I’m speaking with Nigel at a UKIP rally next week” announced the General

“where I shall be exhibiting strong withdrawal symptoms”

“What will be the main theme of your address?” asked His Lordship

“I shall be aggressively pursuing the question of what the hell have we ever got from the EU” said the General animatedly “other than irrelevant regulations, regiments of refugees and bills for bailouts and membership fees? It’s no different from being a member of a bikie gang”

“Hold on a sec” said Sir Rah “it has given us unprecedented access to a huge export market and added security against external threats”

“Hogwash” proclaimed the General “the UK was at its greatest when it stood alone against the craven continentals and built the most magnificent empire the world has ever known”

“But who could deny” asked Sir Rah “that the UK has gained immeasurably in commerce and culture from our association with the EU?”

“It is true” admitted the General “that over a number of years I’ve formed a very close liaison with a quite remarkable sensualist in Paris but that has had nothing to do with the EU and everything to do with the fact she finds me utterly irresistible”

“I believe” said Sir Rah “that the outcome of the referendum will depend on whether Remaining or Leaving promises a more beneficial impact on people’s hip pockets”

“Exactly” said the General “and if we got out of the EU it would allow us to form closer ties with places like Panama”

“Doesn’t it worry you” asked His Lordship “that a Brexit could be followed by a Scexit?”

“If a Scexit meant getting rid of that ghastly Sturgeon woman” said the General

“bring it on. I’d be the first volunteer to help rebuild Hadrian’s Wall if it meant keeping her out and I’m sure Trump would give me a hand”

“Well I’m with David and Obama” said Sir Rah “I’ll be voting to remain”

“How dare that Obama person have the impertinence to tell us how to vote” said the General “He’d be outraged if I went over there to advise Americans to vote for Trump”

“I’m keeping an open mind” announced His Lordship “I have strong sympathies with David’s position but I have derived considerable benefit from an association with Panama and thankfully the arrangements put in place by my father proved to be more leak-proof than those put in place by David’s father”

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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