Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Dick Head Interviews

Taking things to Extremes

Taking things to Extremes

Friday 20 May, 2016
The leader of the Greens explains to Dick why they are always due to break through in a couple of elections after the next.
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Dick Head Reports on FridayMash

The Dick Head Interview

with Richard di Natale

“Now then Richard” began Dick ‘the Greens seem very optimistic about their chances in this election”

“And with good reason” replied Richard “we take great heart from the rise of Jeremy Corbyn in the UK and Bernie Sanders in the US and three elections ago I forecast we’d come good a couple of elections after the next one at the very latest”

“The trouble is” said Dick “your policies are virtually the same as the ones Hugo Chavez applied in Venezuela which reduced the country to an economic basket case in fifteen years”

“What you have to understand” explained Richard “is that for these types of policies fifteen years is too long. They should only be applied for three years at a time and allow a more economically rational government to come in and tidy things up periodically”

“I see you’re trying to dump Albo from his seat of Grayndler” observed Dick

“and replace him with a Trotskyist”

“But he’s a democratic communist” explained Richard “and the trouble with Albo is that he doesn’t grasp the power of unlimited entitlements and handouts to accelerate the economy”

“What climate change policy are the Greens taking into this election?” asked Dick

“We’re seeking to effect a major change in the attitude of Australians towards global warming” announced Richard “instead of basking in the glow of superb May weather in the mid-twenties we want them to react with alarm and switch off the electricity”

“Well if the temperatures are that high” said Dick “they wouldn’t have the heating on anyway”

“That’s the problem” responded Richard “we want the temperature in May to be so low that they can feel really good about not turning on the heating and risking hypothermia”

“What’s your policy on asylum seekers?” asked Dick

“It’s absolutely appalling” asserted Richard “that this government’s policies have caused such high unemployment among people smugglers. We believe that providing them with state-of-the-art boats capable of providing a safe crossing between Indonesia and Christmas Island is a much higher priority than the submarines”

“Do you believe” asked Dick “that this election will be the breakthrough that takes your parliamentary representation to a new level?”

“After much reflection” replied Richard “I am consistent in my view that it will happen a couple of elections after the next”

Comments

About this Series
Dick’s outstanding career in political journalism owes much to recent advances in psychiatric treatment. In his role as a leading Canberra correspondent Dick enjoys an especially close rapport with all the leading politicians and the loony left because he’s met them all at the treatment centre.

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