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The Oracle Of Omniscience comes up with a brilliant initiative to assuage the grief of Abbott supporters.

The Dissolution of Disillusion

The Dissolution of Disillusion

Friday 1 April, 2016
Malcolm finds a way of ending Independents Days in the Senate.
The story starts here...

Dial Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle
“I’m really getting pissed off with the independents in the Senate” said Julie Bishop

“Same here” said Scott Morrison “never has good government for so many been devastated by so few”

“I know” said Julie “and at least Labor has the excuse that a reasonable number of people voted for them”

“Perhaps the answer is” suggested Scott “to appoint Jacqui, the Brick With Eyes and Ricky to the cabinet”

“I think that would be just as bad for cabinet solidarity” commented Julie “as the return of Tony”

“But things are getting desperate” said Scott “we need to get the ABCC approved and Jacqui and co could even have the temerity to bugger around with my budget”

“There is the possibility” said Julie “that we could outflank them by getting close to the Greens

“We’d be safer” asserted Scott “embracing a recalcitrant rhino moonlighting as a CFMEU activist”

“I know what we should do” exclaimed Julie suddenly “dial Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle Of Omniscience. He’ll have the answer

Not ten minutes later Malcolm popped in from the office next door.

“Look Malcolm” said Julie “Scott and I are getting really tetchy about the independents in the Senate. How the hell can we deliver gifts to Australia like the ABCC and Scott’s budget when Jacqui, the Brick With Eyes and Ricky keep sending them back?”

“They might even treat my budget like Bronnie’s travel expenses” said Scott

“I’m just switching on my Omniscience to full power” said Malcolm “and should be getting a result any second now…….yes here it is. I’m going to call a double dissolution”

“Isn’t that a bit drastic?” asked Julie

“Not in the slightest” replied Malcolm “following my inspirational Senate voting reforms a double dissolution will dissolve Jacqui and co into drainage down the Senate plughole”

“But you need a trigger for a double dissolution” said Scott

“Given my Omniscience I’m obviously aware of that” said Malcolm “I plan to recall parliament in April to give Jacqui and co the chance to vote in favour of the ABCC and save their arses as well as their seats”

“But what if they try to strangle my budget at birth on May 10th?” asked Scott

“Don’t worry” said Malcolm “I’ve devised a cunning plan to avoid that by arranging for it to be born one week prematurely on the 3rd”

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