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The Pudding Club Pontifications

The Ins and Outs Of It

The Ins and Outs Of It

Friday 20 November, 2015
Pudding Club members discuss the terms under which the UK might be prepared to stay in the EU and believe the adoption of cricket as its official sport could be helpful.
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched at the Club last week on Coq au Vin accompanied by a most agreeable Brunello de Montalcino.

“I say” said His Lordship “you’ve got to admire the way David is sticking it to that continental clique in the EU”

“I’m already making preparations” said the General “to send a fleet to Dunkirk to evacuate the remnants of our elected representatives and their staff from the EU Parliament in Brussels”

“David certainly put down some very clear markers” said Sir Rah “on what it would take to persuade us to renew our EU membership”

“I don’t believe” said the General “he went anywhere near far enough. If we’re going to stay in that bailout bordello we must demand at the very least that the whole thing is run from London”

“Very good thinking” said His Lordship “I must mention that to David”

“It is blindingly obvious” continued the General “that if the EU is to have any hope of a future it has to be taken out of the hands of those continental crap-artists and run by the British based on the old Empire model”

“I do so agree’ said His Lordship “and what’s more I would be strongly in favour of Nigel being made head of the European Commission”

“Absolutely splendid idea” commented the General “he’s just the sort of reliable chap they need to start sending the refugee boats in the other direction”

“If that doesn’t happen soon” said His Lordship “the next major refugee crisis will be caused by the British baling out of here to Australia”

“I would judge it unlikely” said Sir Rah “that the rest of the EU would do handstands at the thought of the organisation being based in London, administered like the British Empire and overseen by Nigel”

“Well stuff them” said the General “we’ll go off and join something else”

“Like what?” asked Sir Rah

“Well I’ve always thought that the WCU would work better than the EU” said the General “The World Cricket Union would promote political and trade integration between all the major cricket playing nations of the world. Let’s face it cricketers are much more our sort of chaps than the Krauts and the Frogs”

“And how would the WCU handle the current refugee situation?” asked Sir Rah

“Everyone would be given a fair chance to prove themselves in the nets” replied the General

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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