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The Pudding Club Pontifications

The Labour Party’s Over

The Labour Party’s Over

Friday 25 September, 2015
Pudding Club members discuss prospects for the future of Labour under Corbyn and resolve to do everything in their power to keep him in the job and prevent him being replaced by someone more political.
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

Last week Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera slipped easily into an autumnal luncheon of assiette de veau delightfully enriched by a heart-warming bottle of Chateau Haut- Brion 2009.

“I say” said His Lordship “what a splendid way to celebrate the demise of the Labour Party

“I can’t help feeling” said the General “that the Labour leadership ballot was hacked either by the Chinese Communist Party or the Conservative Party”

“The analogy between the Labour Party and lemmings is irresistible” remarked Sir Rah “I must send Corbyn a picture of the White Cliffs of Dover as a suggested location for the climax of his campaign”

“That cove Corbyn” said His Lordship “is against NATO, the EU, the Royal Family, the MCC, Eton and the House of Lords but is for printing money, giving the Falklands back to the Argies and Ukraine back to Russia and giving Hamas exclusive rights to export kosher foods to the UK”

“If Corbyn ever becomes PM” said the General “I’ll make it my personal responsibility to surround the Palace with an anti-revolutionary defence force”

“Can you imagine” asked Sir Rah “what the UK would be like with Corbyn and Sturgeon in charge? They could even make Nick Clegg president”

“If Corbyn’s against the EU” said His Lordship “we must ensure that Nigel isn’t tempted to form an alliance with him”

“The likelihood of Nigel forming an alliance with Corbyn” said the General “is on a par with him opening his home to Syrian refugees who are carrying a reference from the Islamic State”

“So how do you perceive the future for the Labour Party?” asked His Lordship

“Some are destined for the dustbin with Corbyn” replied the General “while the rest will join either the Lib Dems or some other party that’s in even more need of psychiatric treatment”

“We should obviously do everything we possibly can to help David by ensuring that Corbyn stays in the job as long as possible“ said Sir Rah “It would be an absolute tragedy if they kicked him out after a few weeks and replaced him with somebody half-sensible”

“Well” said His Lordship “that would be ok as long as it was somebody only as half-sensible as Ed Miliband but the trouble is his brother could be an altogether different proposition”

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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