Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

The Pudding Club Pontifications

The Return of The Prodigal

The Return of The Prodigal

Friday 16 September, 2016
Pudding Club members are encouraged by the prospect of a post Brexit trade agreement with Australia because they play cricket and rugby and have never been bailed out by Brussels and Angela Merkel. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched last week on beef fillet, pommes frites and mixed salad considerably enhanced by […]
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com
Pudding Club members are encouraged by the prospect of a post Brexit trade agreement with Australia because they play cricket and rugby and have never been bailed out by Brussels and Angela Merkel.

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched last week on beef fillet, pommes frites and mixed salad considerably enhanced by a mesmerisingly mellifluous Penfolds St Henri 2012 from South Australia.

“I say” said His Lordship “what a delightful drop. Who’d have thought an ex-penal colony could produce anything this good?”

“Splendid chaps the Aussies” opined the General “and if the night I spent on Bondi Beach is anything to go by the women are even better”

“I think it’s remarkable” remarked Sir Rah “that they were the first nation to step up with a post Brexit trade deal after the shabby way we deserted them to go into Europe”

“It was an absolute travesty” asserted the General “that we made it easier for Bulgarians and euro-vulgarians to get into this country than Aussies”

“Mind you” commented His Lordship “it still hasn’t stopped Aussies becoming coaches of the England cricket, rugby and rugby league teams and I bathe regularly in Jacob’s Creek”

“The Aussies have some very interesting political practices” explained Sir Rah “for example they never seem to keep a prime minister in power for more than a year or so”

“Damned good idea” declared the General “these days political careers only seems to attract second class citizens so it’s essential to have safeguards in place in case a PM hasn’t been to Eton or doesn’t know how to conceal a bank account in the Cayman Islands. A year is more than enough for most of them and in fact I’d be in favour of an initial three month trial period”

“I’m not sure” confessed Sir Rah “that a trade deal with Australia will compensate for the loss of the entire EU”

“Greater access to beautiful sun-bronzed blondes on Bondi” opined the General “more than makes up for getting rid of all those boofhead bureaucrats in Brussels”

“What you have to understand” said His Lordship sagely “is that Australia has free trade agreements with the US, South Korea, Japan and China and potentially for us that’s a trading block that would make the EU look like the overflow from Portobello Road Market”

“Australia is the only country in the world” remarked Sir Rah “that consumes its national symbol”

“I look forward to the Club having Australia’s national symbol and pommes frites on the menu” declared the General

“I hope you never roo the day” observed Sir Rah

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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