The Show Mustn’t Go On
The Malcolm and Bill Show is in fact a combined audition and dress rehearsal to decide who should star in the Government Soap Opera for the next three years.
Having enjoyed rave reviews for his early performance as PM Malcolm has latterly had problems remembering his lines. His performance over the past eight weeks has been patchy and while it might just be enough to retain the PM’s gig it clearly indicates he’s not ready to compete in the big league with Hugh Jackman for roles like Wolverine.
Barnaby Joyce’s brief stint as acting Prime Minister was enough to demonstrate that he’s more suited to bit parts.
Bill’s performance as a prospective Prime Minister has on the whole been thoroughly unnerving. His repeated delivery of lines like ‘Malcolm’s going to privatise Medicare’, ‘Labor will deliver a budget surplus after four years of debilitating deficits’ and ‘bashing banks is good for the economy’ have not really resonated outside the ACTU.
However to be fair to Bill there’s always the likelihood he can bring any election to a stunning climax by stabbing someone.
It is interesting that Rob Oakeshott has decided to audition for another part in Parliament because he can’t get work anywhere else. However it’s high time Pauline Hanson gave up the struggle to act like a politician. It’s doubtful whether an intensive course at NIDA would help either of them.
The auditions for supporting roles have been less than encouraging. There’s seems absolutely no prospect whatsoever of emerging new talent capable of taking on the vacant parliamentary roles of Clive The Jolly Mean Giant and Bronnie the Wicked Witch of the North.
The most disappointing feature of the past eight weeks has been the absolute lack of humour. The spin doctors who have scripted the whole show seem oblivious to the fact that a candidate who ran a genuinely entertaining campaign would be such a welcome relief he’d be a shoo-in for the starring role.
We can only hope the old adage that a disastrous dress rehearsal is the prelude to an outstanding performance holds true in this case.