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The Weak in Politics

The Weak in Politics on Friday 11th December 2015

The Weak in Politics on Friday 11th December 2015

Friday 11 December, 2015
This was the week when Barnaby Joyce persuaded Ian Macfarlane to come to the Party.
The story starts here...

Weak in Politics section from FridayMash

You decide on the great issues facing the nation

What will be the major conclusions to come from the Paris Climate Change Summit?

-Paris was not as big a climate change disaster as Copenhagen and Kevin

-In order to confirm rising sea levels we should consider lowering beaches

-In order to address climate change more religiously the Australian government should resurrect Tim Flannery next Easter

-Islamic State should be condemned more for being climate change sceptics than terrorists

-As this is the last chance to save the world there’s no point in scheduling any future Summits

Heard in the Parliament House bar

“Did Mal Brough show you the Slipper Diaries?”

“No I opted to wait until Cabcharge produces them as a promotional video”

Heard at the Paris Summit

“How come Malcolm is promoting Tony’s old climate change policies?”

“To demonstrate his commitment to renewables”

I want to be absolutely clear about this

Surely if it cost $5500 to fly Bronnie from Melbourne to Geelong, $30,000 to fly Julie from Perth to Canberra was an absolute steal.

Heard at Labor Party HQ

“It must have come as a shock to Malcolm when Ian Macfarlane defected to the Nationals”

“I know especially after he’d recommended that they take Tony”

Heard in a Canberra restaurant

“What’s the next step for Malcolm on climate change?”

“Bringing Tony in from the coal”

Heard at a Greens Party meeting

“How should Australia help reduce carbon emissions in developing countries?”

“By closing the processing centres in Nauru and Manus Island”

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About this Series
This is the column with insights that all the other publications seem unable to cope with. That’s arguably because they take politics far too seriously.

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