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The Weak in Politics

The Weak in Politics on Friday 18th December 2015

The Weak in Politics on Friday 18th December 2015

Friday 18 December, 2015
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Weak in Politics section from FridayMash

You decide on the main issues facing the nation

What is the main challenge faced by Father Christmas?

-Malcolm is more popular

-The drive to reduce carbon emissions has reduced the number of chimneys

-Retail stores are full of imposters

-It’s too dangerous to enter Islamic State or Turkish airspace

-His North Pole fantasy world is melting away

Heard at Labor Party HQ

“It’s encouraging that fourteen percent of people still prefer Bill as PM”

“They must be the ones who still believe in Father Christmas”

Heard in Townsville

“Will we get a Christmas bonus from Clive this year?”

“Not even a nickel”

I want to be absolutely clear about this

Bill shafted both Kevin and Julia when their polling was way ahead of his current level yet he shows no sign of shafting himself. Does this mean that his standards have slipped or that no-one in the Labor Party is capable of polling any better?

Heard in Malcolm’s office

“Does Tony have a future in politics?”

“Of course he’s Trump’s best chance of going international”

Heard in the Greens’ party room

“Do you think it’s fair to compare the threat of Tony with the threat of terrorism?”

“Certainly, they’re both trying to blow things up out of all proportion”

Heard in a Canberra restaurant

“Given his preferred prime ministerial polling of fourteen percent do you see any hope for Bill?”

“Well at the current rate of decline his poll numbers won’t become an asterisk before the next election”


About this Series
This is the column with insights that all the other publications seem unable to cope with. That’s arguably because they take politics far too seriously.

View all articles in the Weak in Politics Series
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