The Weak in Politics

Johnny Depp was lucky his dogs weren’t put on a lifeboat and sent to Indonesia.

Heard in the lounge bar

‘What did you think of Bill’s budget in reply speech?’

‘It was the only surplus this budget is likely to generate’

Heard at the childcare centre

‘Do you think I should go back to work or have another baby?’

‘I think you should wait and see what sort of a mess the Senate make of the budget’

Heard down the Canberra corridors of power

‘What did you think of Scott Morrison’s first budget?’

‘It suffered from too much interference from Tony and Joe’

Heard in the Canberra press gallery

‘What did you think of the Greens’ response to the budget?’

‘It sounded like Clive’s response to a weight-loss programme’

I want to be absolutely clear about this

Given Labor’s propensity for increasing taxes on big business and reducing taxes on small business are they trying to promote a big increase in medium business?

Heard in a Canberra Chinese restaurant

‘Do you think the budget has saved the jobs of Tony and Joe?’

‘Only if they’re planning to open a childcare centre with a turnover of less than $2 million’

Heard down the corridors of Labor Party HQ

‘How the hell is Bill proposing to pay for the 5% tax cut for small business?’

‘Out of the surplus we were promised by Joe’

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