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The Weak in Politics

The Weak in Politics on Friday 4th September 2015

The Weak in Politics on Friday 4th September 2015

Friday 4 September, 2015
This was the week when Tony was forced to start considering how he’d defend the country against Donald Trump.
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Weak in Politics section from FridayMash

Heard down the Canberra corridors of power

“Why does Tony spend a week each year living with the aborigines?”

“He’s seeking a safe haven after he’s finished with politics”

Heard down the WA corridors of power

“Is Tony coming over to campaign in the Canning by-election?”

“We’re trying to convince him it would be neither a responsible nor productive way to spend his travel entitlements”

I want to be absolutely clear about this

Does the Labor Party want Australia to become a republic in order to guarantee there won’t be another Royal Commission into the unions?

Heard at the ACTU HQ

“Tony wants us to become financially accountable like companies”

“That’s outrageous, it could even lead to our employees taking strike action over pay disputes”

Heard at Liberal Party HQ

“Why the hell is Joe heading up the push for a republic?”

“It would save him the embarrassment of revealing there’s nothing left in the budget to fund Royal Tours”

Heard down the Canberra corridors of power

“It’s a pity the Labor Party can’t find anything useful for Mark Latham to do”

“I know, it’s such a scary thought that he could become an independent in the Senate”

Heard at the ACTU HQ

“What would happen to our ‘One-term Tony’ campaign if he gets spilt after the Canning by-election?”

“We’d switch it to ‘One-year Malcolm’”

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About this Series
This is the column with insights that all the other publications seem unable to cope with. That’s arguably because they take politics far too seriously.

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