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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Theresa Mayhem

Theresa Mayhem

Friday 28 October, 2016
Pudding Club members discuss the emergence of Theresa and the strength of her claims to become a pin-up on the Club Wall of Honour alongside Maggie.  Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched last week on roast beef from the dining room trolley and a Chambertin Grand Cru 2014 from the Sommelier Selection […]
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Pudding Club members discuss the emergence of Theresa and the strength of her claims to become a pin-up on the Club Wall of Honour alongside Maggie.

 Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched last week on roast beef from the dining room trolley and a Chambertin Grand Cru 2014 from the Sommelier Selection Cellar.

“I say” exclaimed His Lordship “Theresa really made a splash at the Party Conference”

“Splendid woman” proclaimed the General “I wouldn’t be surprised if she turned out to be another Maggie”

“I’m a trifle concerned however” confessed His Lordship “about the manner in which she’s trashing David’s legacy and how she’s promising a government that’s fair to everybody”

“Yes I see what you mean” conceded the General “that does sound rather like communism”

“I’m impressed by the fact” commented Sir Rah “that she’s up to her arse in alligators but so far none of them have left any bite marks”

“That’s an interesting assertion” mused the General “but regrettably I’m not in a position to make a strip-search to check it out”

“Of course” theorised His Lordship “Theresa’s job has been made a whole lot easier by the re-election of Corbyn. He’s such a godsend that that I suspect he could be a sleeper agent planted by Conservative Party HQ and not the Russians after all”

“I saw an article by Boris last week” announced Sir Rah “which was written shortly before he led the Leave campaign in which he claimed that the UK would be mad not to Remain”

“What a brilliant strategy” remarked the General “he was obviously already planning his surprise strike on the EU”

“I rather think it was a surprise strike on Downing Street” opined Sir Rah “I wonder if Theresa’s got Article 50 ready to send to Brussels?”

“Not quite yet I understand” replied His Lordship “I suggested she should get Santa to deliver it but Theresa considered the Easter Bunny would be more appropriate in view of all the resurrecting it’s likely to initiate”

“Will the issuing of Article 50” asked Sir Rah “have any impact on the alliance with your paramour in Paris?”

“Our relationship” replied the General “is in no way susceptible to withdrawal symptoms”

“I’m looking forward to the time” sighed His Lordship “when my life isn’t affected by the whims of some irresistible force in Brussels”

“Ah” exclaimed the General “so that’s where your paramour is located”

 

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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