Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Timing Is Everything

Timing Is Everything

Friday 21 April, 2017
Lucy tells of how she advised Malcolm that it’s time for his resurrection and why there’s a clear precedent for it to happen at Easter.
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Lucy tells of how she advised Malcolm that it’s time for his resurrection and why there’s a clear precedent for it to happen at Easter.

 “What are you going to pray for this Easter?” I asked Malcolm as we gazed over the Harbour sipping a post prandial brandy

“A huge increase in my Newspoll numbers” he replied

“I was thinking of something even more uplifting” I commented

“Another brandy?” queried Malcolm

“No dear” I responded patiently “as it’s Easter I was thinking resurrection”

“That’s funny” declared Malcolm “the Archbishop said the exact same thing to me only yesterday”

“While I’m sure that both of our remarks sprang from a religious motivation” I explained “the resurrection I had in mind applies to you and the government”

“Oh come on Luce” said Malcolm reprovingly “we’re really coming good of late what with tax reform and cracking down on 457s”

“While it’s true you haven’t been crucified as much recently” I conceded “the Judas that is Abbott is still betraying you before, during and after that crock Bill Shorten crows”

“Luce” said Malcolm earnestly “I know Tony’s been a heavy cross to bear but he’s neither Judas nor Pontius Pilate”

“Look Mal” I persisted “the truth is you’re overdue for a resurrection and if it doesn’t happen this Easter you might not make it through to the next one”

“Oh alright” said Malcolm resignedly “I get the feeling that you already have a plan in mind so let’s have it then”

“Well” I explained modestly “actually I do have what I believe to be life-changing idea. My suggestion is that you deliver the Sermon on the Sydney Harbour Bridge or the Opera House, whichever is more suitable for television, in which you announce a referendum on the Republic, a parliamentary vote on gay marriage, an emissions trading scheme and a budget surplus”

“And should I do the loaves and fishes thing” enquired Malcolm “before or after?”

“Think of the symbolism” I challenged him “as you rise to the top of the Harbour Bridge or wherever this Easter and suddenly bring on a miraculous change in the Australian political landscape and Newspoll”

“It could turn out to be a very costly exercise” asserted Malcolm

“Oh I don’t know” I reassured him “I’m sure BridgeClimb would give you a concession rate”

“How do you think Tony would react?” asked Malcolm

“He’d either have an epiphany” I opined “or be reduced to an apostrophe”




About this Series
An occasional series featuring the First Lady’s account of her contributions to her husband’s political career and the fate of the nation.

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