Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

The Oracle Of Omniscience comes up with a brilliant initiative to assuage the grief of Abbott supporters.

Transcending Tony

Transcending Tony

Friday 2 October, 2015
The Oracle Of Omniscience comes up with a brilliant initiative to assuage the grief of Abbott supporters.
The story starts here...

Dial Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle

“Oh dear” said Mavis the President of the Abbott Appreciation Society “whatever are we going to do? Now Tony’s gone we’ve got nothing left to appreciate”

“Courage my dear Mavis” said Beryl “perhaps we can switch to becoming the Abbott Museum”

“It wouldn’t be the same” moaned Mavis “I’ve lost the will to go on since Tony was toppled by that treacherous Turnbull”

“Look” said Beryl soothingly “Malcolm may not be as radically right as Tony but I can’t agree with your assertion that he’s about to come out of the closet and form an alliance with the Greens”

“But since Tony’s gone” said Mavis “I live in constant fear that an asylum seeker boat will arrive at Christmas Island”

“I see your point“ said Beryl “Tell you what let’s ring Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle Of Omniscience, he’ll know what to do”

Not three hours later the Oracle Of Omniscience arrived by bus at the Abbott Appreciation Society HQ in St Kilda.

“Oh Oracle” said Mavis “we desperately need your help. Over the past five years we’ve built the Society into an iconic community movement with twenty-three members and now suddenly the Light leading us to extreme Liberalism has been switched off”

“I’m so glad you got in touch” said Malcolm “because a solution to prevent you sinking into an abyss with Abbott has instantly evolved from my infinite wisdom. You should simply rename your organisation the Turnbull Appreciation Society”

“We couldn’t do that” exclaimed Mavis “You can’t expect a bunch of misogynists, fascists and climate sceptics to suddenly switch to supporting someone who is socially progressive”

“The thing about Malcolm “ said Malcolm “is that he’s very consultative so before making any decision on things like gay marriage or an ETS he’ll pop round to consult with you about it”

“What about Syrian refugees?” asked Mavis

“Them too” replied Malcolm

“There you are” said Beryl “not even Tony did that”

“That’s true” responded Mavis “but he didn’t have to because he knew I’d always agree with him. What if we switched our allegiance and then Tony made a comeback?”

“You could simply switch back” replied Malcolm “just like Julie Bishop”

“Alright then” said Mavis “I suppose the Turnbull Appreciation Society is better than nothing”

“One further refinement if I may” said Malcolm “calling it the Turnbull Adulation Society would align it even more closely with community attitudes”


Share with
Sign up for Mailing List

powered by MailChimp!


You may also like...

Accentuating The Positive
In another of her enthralling dissertations about life in The Lodge...
Will Theresa Exit Before Brexit?
Pudding Club members wrestle with the question of whether Theresa is...
It’s All The Rage
The Friday Mash Motoring Editor discusses the latest techniques for...
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Pudding Club members consider whether Brexit will be a disruption...
Extremely Mixed Doubles
The case for modelling gay marriage on tennis...
Tanking With Tony
Friday Mash is pleased to be able to publish these left-wing leaks...