Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Travel Guide for Sydney Commuters

Travel Guide for Sydney Commuters

Friday 6 November, 2015
This article is dedicated to Sydney’s commuters who despite facing daunting challenges and deprivations on their daily travels never flinch in their determination to reach the CBD and soldier on in their service to the nation.
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The Roger Pugh Perspective

There is a growing realisation that the last initiative to have any beneficial effect on Sydney’s traffic was the construction of the Harbour Bridge.

Commuting to the Sydney CBD by car may shortly only be possible through the intervention of Moses to part the Harbour waters. The elation at finally reaching the CBD is tempered by the realisation that another street has been closed to traffic, the carpark is more expensive than the journey and Clover wants you to get on your bike.

The worry is that the traffic congestion caused by major developments in the CBD to ease congestion will increase congestion to the degree that by the time they’re completed the congestion will be irreversible.

The situation is becoming so dire that experts believe that within two years it will be faster and cheaper for people in the Western Suburbs of Sydney to commute to Canberra.

Sydney’s traffic-light network is not helping. There is a growing concern that it is managed by ruthless fanatics dedicated to bringing the joint to a complete standstill. While traffic lights in other cities are synchronised to maximise traffic flow it appears to be the exact opposite in Sydney. Any instances of motorists being allowed to drive through green traffic lights without stopping are apparently caused by systemic failures.

Despite the hopeless inadequacy of the tollways around Sydney the charges are going up at a bewildering rate. One can only assume they are being raised to the level that will cover free refreshments and live entertainment for motorists stuck in interminable jams. If travel times continue to increase at the current rate it is envisaged birthday parties on tollways will become a regular feature and by 2050 there could be more births on tollways than in maternity wards.

It has been proposed that a period of commuting in Sydney should become an obligatory part of an astronaut’s conditioning to withstand the rigours of interplanetary travel.

On the other hand if everyone switched to public transport travel on buses and trains would become so cramped that commuters would have to wear a metal bodysuit in order to be assured of arriving in good shape.

The prospect of new public transport services like the light rail service along George St and the North-West Metro will certainly open up new opportunities to travel hopefully but arriving will remain a different proposition altogether.

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About this Series
Roger Pugh who has written most of the articles on Friday Mash occasionally publishes one under his own name for the reassurance that Abbattman or Jacqui’s Think Tank haven’t yet completely taken him over. His aim to convince those who are disillusioned with politics that it is a worthwhile activity if only for its entertainment value. He believes that politics could become really popular if politicians would only understood how funny they are and gave up trying to be so serious about everything.

View all articles in the The Pugh Perspective Series
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