Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Tremors Caused by Trump

Tremors Caused by Trump

Friday 17 February, 2017
Ged calls Bill in for a pep talk but finds he’s becoming a no-Trump who can’t take a trick.
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Ged calls Bill in for a pep talk but finds he’s becoming a no-Trump who can’t take a trick.

 “Bill I have this feeling” revealed Ged “that 2017 is your breakthrough year”

“By the end of 2017” declared Bill “I shall either be in The Lodge or Malcolm’s harbour-side mansion. Where’s Dave by the way?”

“Oh he left to get a real job” replied Ged “Look Bill there are some immediate issues we need to address. If Malcolm is such a plonker of a Prime Minister why is he still above you in the preferred PM polling?”

“I’m within the margin of error” claimed Bill

“Yes but polling errors are never that big” pointed out Ged “and what’s more Pauline Hanson’s mob are achieving bigger polling gains than Labor. If Pauline and Cory form a coalition you and Malcolm could be flushed Trump-style down the tubes just like Hillary and Jeb Bush”

“Relax Ged” said Bill soothingly “the workers of Australia are too smart to be seduced by the Trump-like tirades of Pauline and Cory”

“But they may not be smart enough” said Ged pointedly “to disbelieve Malcolm when he called you a “parasite’ and a ‘sycophant’ or in other words just like any other politician and hardly the inspirational leader who can do a Donald in Australia”

“But Bernardi is going to stuff Malcolm absolutely” declared Bill

“What you don’t seem to have grasped” insisted Ged “is that he could stuff you as well unless you can shake your image of being just another politician dedicated to maximising pension and travel entitlements”

“Look” exclaimed Bill “my sycophantic and parasitic image was much preferred in a recent survey among CFMEU members and latte drinkers to Mr Harbour-side Mansion”

“If you’re going to make it into the Lodge this year” explained Ged “you’ve got to become a disruptive anti-politician like Trump. It’s going to take a promise to re-open the Ford, General Motors and Toyota manufacturing plants. And on top of that you’ve got to announce a halt in accepting any immigrants from anywhere who are capable of taking Australian jobs”

“That’s probably as close to Trump as I can possibly get” declared Bill

“And the new slogan we’ve created for you” announced Ged dramatically “is ‘Making the Union Movement Great Again’”

“Look” said Bill earnestly “that’s not a bad idea but I don’t think we should give up on the Labor Party before we get the chance to stuff the economy one more time”

 

 

 

 

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About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
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