TheBigSmoke now funneled into FridayMash
Trump more popular than p*rn, sex sells limp election
Donald Trump has become more popular than porn, according to Google, and sex may be the issue that finally kills him. So how did we get this far?
Donald Trump is more popular than porn.
Well, at least he has become so, according to Google Trends, when you compare the number of times each topic has been searched in the US over the last 30 days.
This can only mean one of two things: people are too preoccupied with the crisis facing the nation to worry about their own sexual gratification or… (shudder) they’re hate-jerking off to Donald Trump. Maybe this election has become political masturbation…not your first choice but when there’s nothing else, necessity is a bedfellow that doesn’t judge.
With the first ever female Presidential candidate in the mix this campaign was always going to be about sex, but it’s been Donald Trump – not Hillary Clinton – who grabbed it by the pussy and put it front and centre. Trump will never admit defeat, he’ll continue to rail against Crooked Hillary and election fraud and media bias until they finally just turn off his microphone. But it looks like, in these final days as the campaign limps, bloodied and gagging towards the finish line, sex might actually be his undoing.
Donald Trump has been on a slippery slope towards defeat since the now-infamous Access Hollywood video surfaced, like some glorious tabloid deity sent to save us all from total annihilation. The fact that it hasn’t completely sunk him is disgusting but, in the spirit of 2016, not at all surprising. This man is weapons-grade Teflon: nothing sticks. A bunch of Navy SEALs could snatch him from the penthouse of Trump Tower, fly him out to sea, weigh him down with something even heavier than his ego and still he’d pop up behind them minutes later in a glaring red tie denying the whole thing ever happened.
Pussygate should have ended his campaign then and there. The fact that it hasn’t is more proof just how dangerous this man is, how dangerous his followers are and how sucked-in the media have become by his narrative and the click-bait he gift-wraps like a shouty Kris Kringle. Those acting shocked by his hot-mic comments are either lying or deluded because the most offensive thing about the video isn’t the language or the normalising of sexual assault within it, and it’s not the confirmation that some men – a Presidential candidate among them – really do have hateful thoughts towards women; all the signs were there from the beginning yet the media spent a year on the Trump train counting the days to its spectacular derailment.
This is a man who claimed he could open fire on the street and still get elected. This is a man who casually suggested he would “date” a ten-year-old when she got old enough. This is a man who has insulted veterans, immigrants, African Americans, Latinos, people with a disability…that there was worse out there was never in doubt, yet it wasn’t enough for his party to abandon him and for the media to stop giving his agenda airtime on principle; they had to wait for proof. This is, to many women, the most insulting part of the whole affair and one that sums up just how deeply entrenched rape culture and misogyny are in our world.
The fact that Trump was so obviously this disgusting all along makes his (relative) closeness to Hillary in the polls all the more outrageous. The fact that in response to these polls he continues to double down on his rhetoric, spouting hate, racism, sexism and conspiracy theories rather than policy, just makes him pathetic. But with nothing left but a cause célèbre (or three) and a rabble of followers ready to fight to the death, he’s also dangerous.
Trump will never admit defeat, he’ll continue to rail against Crooked Hillary and election fraud and media bias until they finally just turn off his microphone. But it looks like, in these final days as the campaign limps, bloodied and gagging towards the finish line, sex might actually be his undoing.
You needed only watch the second Presidential debate to see how menacing he can be, stalking his opponent across the stage. He knew Hillary would beat him on policy so he went after her psychologically, towering behind her like an aggrieved manservant, waiting for the moment to whack his employer over the head with a candelabra. He trotted out women her husband has been linked to, not caring that he too has been accused of inappropriate sexual behaviour, nine times and counting. (But it’s all lies, folks, lies! It’s a beat up by the media!)
On top of that, he dismissed his hateful bus banter as “locker room talk”, said his rival didn’t look “Presidential” and suggested a woman who enjoys sex is “disgusting”. These are just a few of the – recent – examples of exactly how his entire agenda is built, more than anything else, on disempowering women.
Time and again Trump has reinforced the idea that women are not capable, useful or sexual creatures in our own right: we are just vessels for male pleasure, to be looked at, fucked and thrown away when we reach our use-by date. At the heart of this was his 3am Twitter rampage attacking former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, calling her first Miss Piggy, then Miss Housekeeping and finally “disgusting”, because she allegedly had a sex tape. Being in a sex tape doesn’t inherently make a person disgusting. Watching a sex tape isn’t inherently disgusting. And the existence of a sex tape itself is not inherently disgusting. In fact, considering that pretty much everyone has a camera on their phone these days I doubt there are many people in the world who don’t have a sex tape of some description.
Let’s be clear: if a woman appears in a sex tape, it’s for one of two reasons:
- She made it, or appeared in it, because she wanted to
- It was filmed without her consent and was an illegal act.
We don’t know if Ms Machado has a sex tape. It’s not our business. But if she does, its existence can only fall into one of those two scenarios. And only one of them is “disgusting”. What is truly disgusting is the current climate Trump has created, where abhorrent views such as this are applauded, and where hate and fear rule, not just over hope and change, but over reality.
Donald Trump will be defeated on November 8, that much is almost certain. After that, Mike Pence can scale back the anti-anxiety meds and thank the Lord for the bullet he dodged. Kellyanne Conway can finally have a day off. Melania can file for divorce and poor Barron can change his name and start therapy.
But on November 9, many things will remain up in the air…
Will the GOP ever truly recover from this calamity? Will Ivanka and Chelsea Clinton’s friendship be doomed for evermore? And will the world just pretend that it didn’t happen? That we weren’t so angry and so terrified that we almost let a man like Donald Trump rise to the highest office in the land?
I doubt it. When Trump is finally defeated (after the months of legal battles he’ll no doubt embark on in an effort to prove he was duped) he will go away. But the world that created him – the world that allowed him to roar like the Hulk on an ice binge – will not. His angry mob of hate-spewers, fear mongerers, misogynists, racist bigots and furious MRAs will become Hillary’s problem. They won’t go away. My only hope is that the media stops giving them oxygen and gives her a chance to lead, to prove what most sensible people have always known, regardless of their politics: that she is eminently capable – inspiring, even – and that she deserved a better opponent than Donald Trump. That’s my wish, come November 9.
At the very least, I hope people stop searching Trump’s name on Google and just go back to watching porn.