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In a Two-State Of Mind

In a Two-State Of Mind

Friday 3 March, 2017
Ged and Bill debate how to build the new Jerusalem at the Labor Party Conference.
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Ged and Bill debate how to build the new Jerusalem at the Labor Party Conference.

 “During Netanyahu’s visit” said Ged “your brief from the union movement is to make it abundantly clear to him that the Labor Party supports a two-state solution”

“I should like to state unequivocally” affirmed Bill “that I am committed to a two-state solution so long as that doesn’t lead to one state terminating the other and producing another one-state solution”

“Bill you have to face reality” said Gedthreateningly “I have the numbers to ensure that the Party will adopt the two-state solution at the Party Conference’

“And you have to face the reality” pointed out Bill “that Trump is in favour of a three-state solution because he’s not yet fully up to speed on the Middle East”

“It makes me sick” said Ged distastefully “to watch Malcolm cosying up to the man who is turning the West Bank into a replica of Miami Beach”

“Look Ged I know what you mean” Bill reassured her “but look at it this way. Israel is surrounded by people whose dearest wish is to remodel it along Aleppo lines. Hamas, Hezbollah et al are all dedicated to a one-state solution and that doesn’t include Israel. So if you are supporting a two-state solution including Palestine you could in fact be supporting a one-state solution without Israel”

“I think we should give peace a chance” said Ged hopefully

“Unless there’s an assurance from the UN that they’ve engaged Hamas as an official peace-keeping force” opined Bill “the two-state solution would have about the same chance of achieving peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians as Fair Work Australia has of promoting a lasting harmony between the CFMEU and the building industry”

“Bill I have to counsel you” said Ged with the full authority exercised by the ACTU over the Labor Party “that your opposition to a two-state solution is going to cause you acute embarrassment at the Party Conference and could even be a threat to your leadership”

“I’m absolutely confident” confided Bill “that whatever our Party Conference  in its infinite wisdom finally decides it will be a matter of extreme indifference to Netanyahu who will treat any policiesLabor happens to come up with for West Bank like nothing more than a Best Wank”

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About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
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