Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Voted a Miss

Voted a Miss

Friday 8 July, 2016
The curtain falls and may have taken Malcolm with it.
The story starts here...

The Malcolm & Bill Show - Strictly Limited 55 days left

The election result clearly indicates that Australians are not interested in a government led either by Malcolm, Bill or the CFMEU and want to ensure that any majority that one of them finally manages to cobble together would be totally hung and hamstrung by the recalcitrant mob they’ve elected to the Senate whose mission is to prevent any government from doing anything so stupid as the things they promised during the election campaign.

Jacqui is back, Pauline has made a triumphal return, Hinch will add to the fun and the Xen Master looks more than capable of making up for the loss of Ricky, Dio Wang and the Brick With Eyes.

The people smugglers who have campaigned hard for a Labor-Greens Coalition were disappointed not to gain a clear mandate to restart operations but are excited by the opportunity to traffic Remain Refugees from the UK.

Malcolm failed to appreciate that a steady hand on the economic tiller was not competitive with Bill’s promises of huge deficits and chucking money around like a union official during an isolated incident in a night club.

Greens’ supporters have been buoyed by the Party’s policies of increased investment in inner-city latte-sipping and Sydney’s second airport being built in the Simpson Desert.

Bill’s initiative to bring humour into the campaign gained a very favourable reaction. At first some people thought his promise to deliver a budget surplus after four years of humungous deficits was serious but then after they realised what an absolutely ridiculous proposition it was they relaxed and enjoyed the joke just like everyone else.

Those people who believe this election will lead to a chaotic government can be reassured that things will inevitably settle down into the usual pattern of broken election promises, prime ministerial stabbings and the threat of a comeback by Julia, Kevin or Tony. If Pauline can come back surely those three must become a real threat.

Tony Abbott hasn’t actually claimed in public that Malcolm has stuffed the election royally and that if he’d still been PM Labor would have been reduced to the same position as the Australian Sex Party although perhaps they wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much.

And in case you’re concerned you may rest assured there is absolutely no prospect whatsoever of anybody privatising Medicare. That was just a commendable attempt by Bill to try and enliven eight very boring weeks.

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