Story No: 18
‘I’ve been thinking about my place in history’ said George
‘Look George’ I said ‘I wouldn’t worry about it just yet. You’ve only been president for three years and with a bit of luck and a dumbassed Democrat candidate like John Kerry you might last another five’
To tell the truth I like George and didn’t want to break it to him that his only chance of avoiding the Hall of Mediocrity was to follow my advice more closely.
‘Come on Barney, humour me’ said George ‘for example do you rate me a better president than my father?’
‘Difficult question’ I said ‘you’ve both stuffed up Iraq but ultimately he loses out because he was responsible for you’
‘When you think of a president responsible for lifting the US to a place it has never been before who would that be?’ asked George
‘Kennedy’ I responded ‘he drove us to the moon’
‘What about a president who has impacted the world through initiatives he took in the Oval Office?’ asked George
‘Clinton’ I said ‘but he needed help from Monica’
‘In some ways’ said George ‘I compare myself with Nixon. He reached out to countries like China and Alaska and he loved his little dog’
‘There’s a big difference George’ I said ‘Nixon was almost impeached, Clinton was impeached but you are simply impaired. And you have a much better taste in dogs’
‘People tell me I could turn out like Abraham Lincoln’ said George
‘That’s probably because he got shot’ I observed
‘Perhaps I’ll be remembered for great quotes like ‘Families is where the nation finds hope, where wings take dream’ said George
‘Perhaps you should try something like ‘ask not what Barney can do for you but rather what you can do for Barney’ I suggested
‘Hey that’s pretty good’ said George ‘it sounds like Ronald Reagan. He was a similar sort of president to me’
‘Sure’ is said ‘but again there is a difference. He spent part of his life in ‘B’ movies but you’ve been in one all your life’
‘Perhaps I’ll be remembered as a great wartime president’ said George
‘I think Franklin D Roosevelt’s got that slot’ I said
‘What about a great anti-terrorist president?’ asked George
‘I don’t think Osama bin Laden would support that’ I said
‘How about Father of the Nation’ persisted George
‘Look George’ I said ‘it’s a bit late for that. The Founding Fathers beat you to it by two hundred years or so’.
‘OK Barney’ said George ‘what do you really think?’
‘Well’ I said ‘you haven’t had any great success stories like solving the Middle East dilemma or tearing down a wall but on the other hand you haven’t been involved in any scandals sex or otherwise and you’ve got a lovely family’
‘You mean you think I’ll be remembered as the ordinary president?’ asked George
‘Yes’ I said ‘very ordinary’
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