Researchers have recently reached a definitive finding on whether sex leaves a carbon footprint. They concluded it only happened when practised by miners in certain positions.
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Tiger Woods is reportedly undergoing treatment at a sex addiction clinic. This raises a number of vital questions.

• Shouldn’t he be in a sex abstinence clinic?
• Wouldn’t it help his treatment if all the hostesses and cocktail waitresses of his acquaintance were also treated there?
• It obviously won’t help him win the Mistresses but will it give him a better chance of winning the Masters?
• If as a result of the treatment he gives up sex entirely will this help or hinder reconciliation prospects with his wife?

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Strong retaliatory measures are being considered following the news that Russian ice-dancers are wearing aboriginal gear. These are likely to include a ban on the export of witchetty grubs to Russia and also a ban on the Russian winter Olympics Team competing in the Northern Territory.
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Experts have been warning for some time that Australia can expect a flood of climate change refugees. In view of the appalling weather conditions in the UK it seems certain that the first wave will be Poms.
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The Iraq Inquiry has all the elements of a UK Labor Party trainwreck. It will be fascinating to find out who the Inquiry believes was driving it and which MPs were fellow travellers. Unfortunately Saddam Hussein couldn’t accept the Inquiry’s invitation to appear but he is undoubtedly there in spirit.
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A recent visit to the House of Lords at Westminster confirmed that members are still in the habit of taking a nap during debates. If only certain members of the Senate in Canberra could follow suit the place would become far more productive.
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Kevin is planning to spend so much time overseas this year that by carefully co-ordinating your own programme of international travel it should be possible to miss him for the whole year.