Latest Reports from our top correspondents

Bigoted Grandmas Push for Power

LONDON: A fourth major political force has suddenly emerged in the UK election. Some commentators believe that voters are so disillusioned with Brown, Cameron and Clegg that the Bigoted Grandmas Party could seize power.

Read Tori Banger’s UK Correspondents report.

A Non-core Promise

CANBERRA: The Tasmanian election has just been rated the biggest threat to worldwide democracy since the Taliban.

Read Dick Head’s Canberra Correspondents report.

Oil, oil everywhere but not a drop in the car

WASHINGTON: US voters are facing the November Congressional elections secure in the knowledge that Sarah Palin wont be elected to anything.

Read P.E. Doff US Correspondents report.

Friday Mash is proud to announce the launch of ELECTION SANITY

There have been an alarming number of voters who have become brain damaged and even brain-dead during election campaigns.

Friday Mash is responding to this disturbing trend with a state-of-the-art Election Sanity treatment.

The treatment will be available during election campaigns in the UK, US and Australia and anywhere else where voters sanity is at serious risk.

Voters will find that Election Sanity is an effective antidote to the invasive and repetitive insanity of election campaigns.

It will feature regular exclusive reports from some of the world’s most insanely brilliant political correspondents.

Tori Banger the UK correspondent has been institutionalised ever since she worked on an election campaign for Margaret Thatcher. She writes a regular column for the terminally politicised and lists her interests as going up and down polls and having sexual fantasies about David Cameron.

P.E. Doff the US correspondent is the doyen of the politically punch drunk faction of alcoholics famous. He writes a regular column for a Trotskyite porn magazine and is now allowed out on his own quite regularly.

Dick Head the Canberra correspondent believed in Mark Latham for too long and is still politically confused. He has suffered voters’ block for many years, lives in a sheltered community and is a senior advisor to the NSW State Government.

This unique international team offer real hope to voters who have lost the confidence to get through another election campaign still in possession of all their marbles.

Election Sanity provides a sporting chance of staring insanity in the face and emerging as a normal person.