
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
4th June 2010
Dear Mr. President,
I couldn’t help laughing the other day. Someone in the US criticised your government for wanting too much control over people’s lives. We’ve got to keep the government out of our bedrooms he said. That wouldn’t be a problem for me I thought because they’re bound to be a big improvement there on Neville.
All the members of the Obama Fan Club are terribly worried about your oil disaster and want to do all we can to help.
I convened a special meeting of our World Affairs Think Tank to try and come up with some inspiring ideas for you.
Our Mavis’ Bert said the oil mess was typical of the Poms because they still have an empire mentality. People like British Petroleum think nothing of crapping all over the colonies.
Our Mavis reckoned it was about time you poured oil on troubled waters until it was pointed out to her that the waters only become troubled because someone poured oil on them in the first place.

Marge thought that you should rename the Gulf of Mexico the BP sea.
Albert said the oil spill started six weeks ago, is still gushing out and he reckoned you have just been sitting on it. His wife said it was just a pity you haven’t got a wider backside.
Mildred thought it was a wonderfully generous gesture by the US to pool your oil with Mexico. But Elsie thought it was ironic that Mexico is preparing to stop the flow of illegal flow of US oil into their country.
Fred thought the oil would cause a lot of confusion for environmentalists. If the sea levels rise they wont know whether to blame melting glaciers or the oil spill.

Joe thought BP should be congratulated for creating the world’s largest carbon footprint without generating any carbon emissions.
Madge thought it was the biggest environmental disaster since Midnight Oil spilled out all over the place. Even after all this time there are many people who feel that Peter Garrett still hasn’t been cleaned up properly.
Neville said if BP put their prices up to pay for their massive stuff-up he would buy his petrol elsewhere because there are Ampol stations around (he actually thought that was funny).
Godfrey said that Americans should park their cars with the petrol caps off because hurricanes are expected through the Gulf of Mexico shortly and it could soon be raining oil all over the country.
I summed up in my usual balanced manner. I suggested converting the Gulf of Mexico into an oil storage facility and pointed out it could soon become the source of a new type of fish oil.
Oh and by the way you should sit on a Louisiana beach and command that the oil not come on to it. Yes I know it didn’t work for King Canute but who knows you could get lucky and at least you’d be seen to be doing something.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President

