Street Wear
When he’s out promoting school hall building programmes Kevin wears a hard hat and he wears surgeon’s gear when he’s talking up his hospitals plan. What on earth will he wear to announce his policy for brothels?

Swearing Out Ceremony
There is a move in California to legislate against foul language. This is indicative that the State Treasury is only slightly more bankrupt than Californian English.

Blocker
The Labor Government wheeled out Stephen Conroy, Jennie Macklin, Penny Wong, Lindsay Tanner and Nicola Roxon for a media conference to moan about Tony Abbott blocking things. These are the architects of the disastrous Telstra plan, the laughable Aboriginal Housing Scheme, the ETS, the debt and deficit and the half-baked hospitals plan. Keep up the good work Tony.

Welcome to the Asylum
News that Yudhoyono is going to arrest people smugglers opens up the prospect of a real earner for the federal government. They could offer asylum seekers a cruise from Indonesia to Christmas Island on the Oceanic Viking for only five thousand dollars. This is less than the people smugglers charge, would earn unstinted praise from Amnesty International and could encourage Hyatt Hotels to build a decent pad on Christmas Island.

Travelling by Tube
It was disappointing to hear that Lara’s engagement ring had gone down the toilet especially, as now seems likely, she was wearing it at the time.

Unsuitable Treatment
It turned really frosty in Sydney when Kevin dropped in to talk to Kristina about hospitals. This was obviously another disastrous effect of climate change.

Non-Stop Motoring
Experts advise that you should only engage cruise control on Toyota vehicles if you’re low on petrol and on a long trip down a straight motorway.

Obama Drama
It looks like Obama wont be coming to Australia until his healthcare bill has been passed. He’s blaming Tony Abbott for blocking it in the Senate.