This week Guy the Friday Mash Superfly decided to stay on in Washington. All the long distance buzzing around has tired him out. However he managed once again to penetrate White House security and alight on an Oval Office wall just as the President was discussing the healthcare bill triumph with Nancy Pelosi. Here is Guy’s exclusive report.
‘A great moment in history’ said Obama ‘we did it. You were magnificent’
‘Thank you Mr President’ said Nancy ‘and congratulations on becoming the President who finally fixed healthcare’
‘Saving that half trillion dollars in Medicare was critical’ said Obama ‘I don’t know how you did it’
‘I didn’t’ said Nancy ‘I had to spend it on the new healthcare bureaucracy. I thought you said you had saved it’
‘I did’ said Obama ‘ but I had to spend it on extra child support now that I’m not paying for abortions. Thank goodness health insurance premiums will be cheaper’.
‘Oh sure’ said Nancy ‘but don’t forget we’re forcing the health insurers to insure people who are sick for a change so they might bring everything up’
‘Hopefully’ said Obama ‘you didn’t have to make any extravagant promises to secure those critical Democrat votes’
‘Nothing much’ said Nancy ‘I only promised two congressmen a date with your wife and I promised another he could use Air Force One for his holidays’
‘Well it’s all in a good cause’ said Obama ‘are you sure there’s nothing else?’
‘Pretty much’ said Nancy ‘a couple of congresswomen wanted a dirty weekend with you but they settled for full-size blow-up Obama dolls’
‘Did it get nasty in the trenches? asked Obama ‘you didn’t have to use any strongarm tactics to get the Blue Dog vote did you?’
‘Well nothing too dramatic’ said Nancy ‘one of them didn’t cave in to water -boarding but went to water when I threatened to arrange an interview for him on the Glenn Beck Show’
‘So that’s it’ said Obama ‘we’ve finally put healthcare to bed’
‘Right on’ said Nancy ‘although perhaps there are one or two issues we need to resolve like the thousands of doctors threatening to leave the system, the thirty-odd states who are going to challenge the legality of the legislation in the courts, the fact that we’ll lose our majority in the Senate and the House of Representatives next November and the majority of Americans think we’re somewhere to the left of Mao’
‘But in the final analysis we did this for the people’ said Obama ‘to make them understand that in a democracy like America they always have a choice. They can either take out healthcare insurance or we’ll punish them. You can’t introduce a new healthcare plan without inflicting pain’
‘There’s just one other thing though’ said Nancy ‘you do understand that all this is going to send the country broke don’t you?’
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