Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’
Back from two brilliantly successful assignments in the US Guy the Friday Mash Superfly managed to find space on a wall overlooking an emergency meeting of Kevin’s spin doctors. Here is his exclusive report.
‘This insulation thing’s an absolute disaster’ said Greg ‘We can’t unload any of the blame onto Malcolm or Tony. What the hell are we going to do about it?’
‘I think we should re-emphasise Kevin’s commitment to working families’ said Brendan
‘Are you kidding?’ snapped Greg ‘most of them are cowering in their homes frightened their roof is about to catch fire’
‘Perhaps this is the time’ said Sharon ‘to introduce a new idiosyncratic Kevin phrase like ‘systemic programmatic specificities’
‘Perhaps this is the time Shaz for you to get a job with Tony Abbott’ said Greg
‘I’ve got it’ said Brendan ‘we should package Kevin as the Global Statesman’
Illustration: Jim Pavlidis (The Age)
‘They’re not going to buy it’ said Greg ‘Copenhagen was an unmitigated Kevin disaster, nobody can understand what he’s talking about in China even when he talks in English and he’s just sent an ambassador to Washington in a wheelchair’
‘Bingo’ said Sharon ‘Kevin 07 plus 3. The man who saved Australia from a complete insulation disaster by taking the courageous and fearless decision to fire Peter Garrett.
‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he’ll probably have to save Australia from further disasters by courageously and fearlessly firing Nicola Roxon and Stephen Conroy and then maybe the public will start thinking its time to courageously and fearlessly fire Kevin. Hold that thought on Kevin 07 plus 3 though. That’s interesting’
‘I’ve had an idea’ said Brendan ‘Obama’s coming here soon. Perhaps we could persuade him to call Kevin the Wizard of Oz or something’
‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he might get mixed up and call him the Tin Man or the Man of Tin’
‘I know’ said Sharon ‘the Action Man’
‘Oh please’ said Greg ‘That’s just the point. He hasn’t done anything except hand out money’
‘But’ said Sharon ‘we could portray him as the Super Action Man who takes on and defeats Action Man Abbott’
‘Oh sure’ said Greg ‘I can just see Kevin poleaxing Tony in a boxing ring or wearing budgie smugglers. On Kevin they’d look more like tadpole smugglers’
‘Ok smarty’ said Sharon ‘what’s your brilliant idea then? If we don’t come up with a new spin strategy soon there’s a danger the public will begin to see Kevin as he really is.
‘My key spin strategy is to get Kevin to accept responsibility for the insulation disaster’ said Greg ‘The public will appreciate the gesture but nobody will seriously believe its his fault. Then to reinforce that belief he should fire Peter’
‘Brilliant’ said Sharon ‘we can then spin him as the mea culpa prime minister. The public will suss its Kevin selflessly taking the blame for his incompetent minister’
‘And if it works for insulation’ said Brendan ‘it can work for hospitals, the national broadband network, the ETS …’
‘Yes alright’ said Greg ‘ Let’s get Kevin in to brief him on the mea culpa prime minister spin strategy and Shaz ring Kerry O’Brien to book a date to launch it on The 7.30 Report.
Tags: Ambassabor to Washington, Barack Obama, China, Copenhagen, education, ETS, Fly on the Wall, Guy the Fly, home insulation scheme, Kevin Rudd, Kevin07, KRudd, Malcolm Turnbull, national broadband network, Nicola Roxon, Peter Garrett, President Obama, Stephen Conroy, systemic programmatic specificities, Tony Abbott, Wizard of Oz
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Putt and Take
Tiger Woods is reportedly making a comeback later this year. No word yet on which nightclub it will be at.
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Life’s a Beach
Environmentalists are concerned that the rising tide of ETS dissent could erode Penny Wong and wash her away.
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Doomsday Scenario
The International Atomic Energy Agency has expressed concern that Peter Garrett might one day become the Australian minister responsible for the development of nuclear power stations.
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The Love of Sport
If sex becomes an Olympic sport will Tiger Woods switch codes?
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Getting Better
Obama has taken steps to involve Republicans in developing his healthcare plan. The aborigines could teach him more about bush medicine than George.
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Poor Batting
The Government’s insulation debacle has had a marked effect on house design. Nobody wants a garret in their roof anymore.
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Dear John
Now it turns out that just like Andrew Peacock and Peter Costello, Malcolm Fraser can’t stand John Howard either. But on the other hand there’s George W. Bush and Tony Abbott who think John is great while no one’s even bothered to ask Mark Latham yet and he’s normally very liberal with his opinions.
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Insulated from Terrorism
There was intense debate in federal parliament this week about whether the home insulation scheme was a bigger threat to the community than home-grown terrorism. It’s a close run thing but Friday Mash sincerely believes the Federal Government is less of a threat than Al Qaeda.
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Tags: Al Qaeda, Andrew Peacock, Barack Obama, ETS, George W Bush, Insulation, John Howard, Mark Latham, Obama Healthcare, Penny Wong, Peter Costello, Peter Garrett, Republicans, Terrorism, Tiger Woods, Tony Abbott, US President
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Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
19th February 2010
Mr President,
I can’t tell you how excited we all are about your visit. Marge almost had to go to emergency last week because she was overheating.
The mayor is standing by and thinks he can get the day off if you can find time to visit Beauthaven. We haven’t heard back from your social secretary yet so perhaps you could jog her memory.
Instead of our usual World Affairs Think Tank this week the Club put on a Sarah Palin Roast and Half-Price Beer Night. It was a huge success but I think Neville got a bit upset about some of the things they said about Sarah because he fancies her just like Hillary. He once told me I was the same type as Sarah. Next thing he’ll be inviting me out moose-shooting.
I’m really excited that the Club picked up four new members at the Roast but I‘m not convinced we’ll keep them once the beer goes back to full price.
The committee thought it would be useful if I passed on a few tips about Australia to help you plan your trip. I know the embassy in Canberra will be briefing you but its not like they live in Australia.
Now I know you’re used to flying into major capital cities like London and Washington. Flying into Canberra may be a bit of a shock. Don’t be surprised if it seems like you’re flying into Kevin’s country estate instead.
The airport building is about half as big as Air Force One. In fact while you’re there some people might mistake it for the airport building.
Canberra’s not what you’d call a shopper’s paradise. If Michele wants to do any shopping here I suggest you drop her off in Sydney and I’ll show her round.
Mildred suggested I reassure you that it will be quite safe to go into the Australian Parliament because Peter Garrett hasn’t insulated the roof.
By the way there’s a whole lot of Afghans and Sri Lankans in Indonesia who are trying to get into Australia. When you call in there make sure your security guys are on the lookout for potential stowaways on Air Force One. It wouldn’t be a good look if you disembarked in Sydney with a bunch of asylum seekers.
You might have to be sprayed by the immigration authorities before you land in Canberra but usually they only spray septics who are Republicans.
I know you’ll have a great time in Canberra chatting up Kevin and Julia. They’re such lovely people. And I know you’ll do your best to be polite when you meet Tony Abbott and Joe Hockey; don’t be surprised if Joe’s dressed as Tinkerbell. And if Barnaby Joyce tells you to ‘bugger off’ that’s only the Nationals way of trying to be matey.
Oh and don’t be surprised by the Federal Parliament Building being partly underground. They designed it that way to conceal the fact that our politicians have got their heads buried in the sand.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Air Force One, asylum seekers, Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Hillary Clinton, Joe Hockey, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Michele Obama, Obama Fan Club, Peter Garrett, Sarah Palin, Tony Abbott
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This week Guy the intrepid Friday Mash Superfly winged his way to the Christmas 2009 Review Meeting between Santa Claus, the Christmas Fairy and Number One Elf at the North Pole. From a vantage point high on the wall of Santa’s Christmas Grotto he sent us this exclusive report.
‘Dear me’ said Santa ‘this global research study into people’s attitudes to Christmas 2009 is very disturbing. 20% couldn’t remember whose birthday it was, 10% complained about the lack of bar service in churches, 30% thought it was a retail promotion and 40% thought it was a binge drinking carnival’
‘And don’t forget’ said the Christmas Fairy ‘that 80% thought it was spoilt by too much emphasis on religion’
‘Heavens’ said Santa ‘the Archangel won’t like that. He also won’t like the huge offer I’ve had to appear in a VB ad campaign next Christmas. I’ll have to tell him VB stands for virgin birth’
‘People don’t seem to appreciate the presents you give them like they used to’ said the Number One Elf ‘Barnaby Joyce has returned the calculator because he reckons it can’t tell the difference between millions and billions. Belinda Neal has returned the course of anger management classes you delivered on behalf of Kevin and she was really pissed off about it and Kevin has returned his budgie smugglers because they were condemned by the RSPCA’
‘Can you believe’ remarked Santa ‘that some people want to change the whole concept of Christmas. Obama supporters are promoting a second Christmas to mark his birthday and most people believe it should be a beer festival rather than a religious festival’
‘And have you heard the latest?’ asked the Christmas Fairy ‘the Archangel thinks that the reindeer and sleigh is not a viable transportation model in the era of global warming and he’s thinking of giving the Christmas presents delivery contract to DHL’
‘We got a letter from Al Gore the other day’ said the Number One Elf ‘warning us that our Grotto will melt by 2020 and we should seek alternative accommodation that floats. He must think you’re bloody Noah’
‘I’m terribly worried my good name is being eroded by all those out-of-work actors who impersonate me in retail stores’ said Santa ‘I read that one was so strange he got the part of Little Red Riding Hood in a Christmas Panto and another handed out kids toys to the mothers and sex toys to the kids’
‘What on earth should we do for Christmas 2010?’asked the Number One Elf.
‘I think we should do a deal with Obama, Kevin and Gordon Brown’ said the Christmas Fairy ‘to deliver a global Christmas stimulus package each year’
‘I think we should encourage polygamy’ said the Number One Elf ‘It’s much more efficient to have a household like President Zuma’s where you can drop off presents for twenty kids and four wives in one place’
‘We have to go with the flow’ said Santa ‘let’s negotiate a free Christmas grog worldwide delivery service. I’ve always wanted to be a philanthropissed’
Tags: Al Gore, Archangel, Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Belinda Neal, Christmas Fairy, DHL, Father Christmas, Gordon Brown, Kevin Rudd, Little Red Riding Hood, President of USA, President Zuma, RSPCA, Santa, stimulus package
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Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
12th February 2010
Mr President,
I’m terribly worried about you and Kevin.
How can the two most brilliant, charismatic and loved leaders of our time be taking a bath in the opinion polls? Doesn’t the public recognise messiahs when they see them?
I know its all about democracy and everyone being entitled to their own opinion but how on earth could anyone rank Sarah Palin and Tony Abbott in the same league as you two?
Admittedly that Palin woman has got a bit of get up and go about her, is a dab hand at moose shooting and I’m sure Neville secretly fancies her but she does tend to shriek a bit and if she was invited to a tea party round here no-one else would turn up. Imagine her having the audacity to believe she’s in the same league as Hillary and all the other women Bill knows.
And as for Tony Abbott he’s just a rugby rah-rahing boxing, cycling, bush firefighting, womanising, ironmaning, lifesaving, Rhodes Scholaring, budgie smuggling larrikin who thinks that Kevin is nothing but a toxically boring, preening and prissying little two-faced nerd. There’s just no comparison. Neville can’t stand Tony because he didn’t play rugby league.
Kevin appeals to women much more than Tony. That’s because Tony’s dated most of them and they know what he’s like. He spent most of his younger years persuading them to give up their virginity and, mark my words, his big promise at the next election will be to give them all back.
This week the club’s World Affairs Think Tank tackled an education issue of profound worldwide relevance; ‘Should we teach sex in schools?‘ We selected it specially to give you some guidance on future policy development in this vital area.
Marge made an unusually incisive contribution. She said it all depended on how you interpreted the question. She is all in favour of teaching sex in schools but not having sex in schools. Apparently it put her off for years.
Our Mavis’ Bert was adamant that teachers should be taught sex in schools because the students already know more than they do.
Gert wanted to know if there would be any homework and would it involve any practical assignments.
Cyril saw great opportunities to establish joint projects between boys and girls schools using a sophisticated ‘you can look at mine if I can look at yours’ teaching method.
Mildred was very much in favour of teaching drugs and rock and roll as well as sex. Further she pointed out that if girls were taught lap and pole dancing as well it would help them build on their sex education by opening up career opportunities.
Mervyn saw a problem in catholic schools where priests have traditionally taught the wrong sort of sex. He stressed that priests have got a strong track record on teaching the theory of marriage before sex but of course the practice is a virtual impossibility for them.
I summed it all up by saying that schools should have a place for teaching sex but it was still likely to be behind the toilet block or on the back seat of the headmaster’s car.
You will let me know if there’s anything special you would like Think Tank to tackle wont you?
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Kevin Rudd, Sarah Palin, Sex Education, Tony Abbott, virginity
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Wonderful, Wonderful Copenhagen
Kevin took 114 delegates to the Copenhagen Conference. Friday Mash can now confirm there were no fatalities on this mission and all have returned safely. Some delegates however reportedly suffered hypothermia, a couple had mental breakdowns trying to make sense of it all and one was rescued from a snowdrift by a great dane.
The Greatest Moral Challenge of our Time
Tony Abbott is keen that his Emissions Reduction Fund should retain its virginity as long as possible and is determined to stop Kevin stuffing it.
Thanks a Trillion
A White House spokesman has confirmed that Obama wont be bringing the US debt to Australia. China owns such a large part of of it they insist he leaves it there for safe keeping while he’s overseas.
Unseasonal Greetings
Despite rumours that he is planning to seek asylum in Australia immigration authorities will not insist Obama travels here from Indonesia via Christmas Island. On the other hand there is still a widespread view that his first coming in Australia should be at Christmas.
A Case of Whether
The good news for Australia on climate change is that NZ now has an ETS up and running. Obviously the sensible thing for Kevin to do is check whether it has any effect on global warming before trying to launch one here.
Tally Ban
Following an extensive research study the Taliban will not be fielding any candidates in the NSW State Election in 2011. Surprisingly the study showed they were even less popular than the current Labor Government.
Floored
Consistent with Kevin’s beneficence in providing jobs for opposition members it is expected that after Malcolm crosses the floor to vote for the ETS he will be offered the job of cleaning it.
Rejoyce
It is difficult to understand why Wayne Swan and Lindsay Tanner are so critical of Barnaby Joyce. He’s helping the Labor Government immeasurably more than they are.
Tags: Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Christmas Island, Copenhagen, Copenhagen Conference, Debt, Emissions Reduction Fund, ETS, global warming, immigration, Kevin Rudd, Lindsay Tanner, Malcolm Turnbull, NSW Labor Government, NSW State Election, President of USA, Taliban, Tony Abbott, US debt, virginity, Wayne Swan
Posted in Carbon Emissions | 1 Comment »
This week Guy the Friday Mash Superfly winged his way to a wall in the Washington DC office of the US Secretary of State and sent us this exclusive report on the vital strategic discussion she had with her husband.
‘You’d have made a much better president than Obama’ said Bill
‘I know’ said Hillary ‘the only thing that stopped me was the laughable prospect of you becoming the First Gentleman’
‘Behind the great female president’ said Bill ‘would have been a former great male president with his hand up her back’
‘Most women seem to have experienced your hand up somewhere’ responded Hillary
‘Ten years ago’ said Bill ‘Obama would have been lucky to get a job serving us coffee’
‘Ten years ago’ said Hillary ‘you were damned lucky everyone didn’t leave you to get your own coffee’
‘Oh come on honey’ said Bill ‘I spent months out there on the campaign trail pushing myself to the point of exhaustion to get you the top gig’
‘Didn’t all those women find it confusing that you got them in sack just to campaign for your wife?’
‘When it comes to elections’ said Bill ‘the end justifies the means’
‘Not when it’s your end it doesn’t’ said Hillary ‘I probably lost the election because you couldn’t keep it up’
‘When Al Gore and Ted Kennedy deserted you who was it who stuck by you even putting my own reputation on the line?’
‘Some reputation’ said Hillary ‘it’s a sort of role model for Tiger Woods. Who pulled you through when you were impeached? Not Madeleine Albright or Al Gore but good old me. Even Monica deserted you and despite all that time you spent working on her I’ll bet she didn’t vote for me’
‘Honey’ said Bill ‘you’ve got to understand I have a certain charisma that appeals to women and it enabled me to play an effective presidential part in your campaign’
‘Oh I’ve no doubt your presidential part played effectively in all sorts of places’ said Hillary
‘Now let’s get serious about 2012’ said Bill ‘we’ve got to start planning your next presidential campaign immediately’
‘Forget it’ said Hillary ‘you’ve spent too long in the doghouse ever to get back in the White House. My best chance of becoming president is a divorce’
‘You’ve got to admit’ said Bill ‘that I was a better president than George W Bush. And sexier too. Give me a year or two to work my charms and every woman in the US will be ready to vote for you’
‘Why do I get this overwhelming feeling that I’m the one who would get screwed?’ said Hillary ‘Look I can’t sit around chatting to you, I’ve got to phone Kevin Rudd about World Kangaroo Day. Are you in for dinner tonight?’
‘Sure honey’ said Bill ‘how about a romantic evening for two?’
‘Darling’ said Hillary ‘I thought you’d never ask’
Tags: Al Gore, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, First Gentleman, Fly on the Wall, George Bush, George W Bsh, Hillary Clinton, Kevin Rudd, Madeleine Albright, Monica Lewinsky, President of USA, Ted Kennedy, Tiger Woods, US Secretary of State, Washington DC
Posted in Fly on the Wall | 1 Comment »
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
5th February 2010
Dear Mr President,
I was having a cup of tea with Marge when all of a sudden they announced your March visit on the telly. We couldn’t believe it. Marge was so overcome she almost had an accident.
We haven’t got word on your schedule yet and heaven forbid we seem presumptive but you know you’ll get a wonderful welcome at the world’s first Obama Fan Club whether it’s for a keynote address or a cup of tea; but definitely not a Tea Party.
I’ll be in touch with your appointments secretary within the next week or two. It’s so exciting.
I know you’re a few trillions in the red at the moment so while you’re here don’t hesitate to tap Kevin for a stimulus package. I’m sure you qualify.
Tony Abbott’s just released his new carbon emissions reduction plan. I think its something he cooked up over the Christmas holidays. What a cheek to claim he’s got a package as good as the ETS which Kevin and Penny have been working on for years. I’m afraid we’re in for a long boring argument about who’s got the biggest and the one which emits less smoke.
By the way I’ve just checked and the RSL memorial hall will almost certainly be available during your visit. We could fit in a hundred and seventy-five at a pinch with a cup of tea and egg and lettuce sandwiches and Fred is confident he could arrange a tour of the local meatworks.
The Club’s World Affairs Think Tank has been worried about your Iran problem for some time. Bombing the place would not be a good look so soon after scoring the Nobel Peace Prize. So we devoted our session this week to creating alternative strategic tactics to dissuade Ahmadinejad from going ballistic and nuclear.
Fred made a very thoughtful first contribution to a Think Tank session. He was strongly in favour of stuffing up Iran completely by holding the next climate change conference there.
Mildred thought Ahmadinejad craved recognition. She suggested you invite him over to the White House and present him with a major international award like the World’s Worst Dressed President.
Our Mavis’ Bert had a brilliant idea. We should arrange an exchange agreement between the Iranian Government and the NSW Government. Ahmadinejad could advise the NSW Government on vote rigging techniques for the 2011 election and in return they could apply their North-West Metro project development model to his nuclear programme. That should put it back at least twenty years.
Our Mavis thought that Ahmadinejad would feel a natural political affinity with the NSW Shooters Party.
Marge had the idea of the night. She reckoned that as Ahmadinejad was so keen on sponsoring terrorists the Pittsburgh Steelers offered him better value for money than Hamas. They’re always on the telly and they strike terror into everyone.
I was at a loss to sum up such brilliance. Please feel free to take your pick of any of these and don’t forget to give Hillary a comprehensive briefing.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Ahmadinejad, Barack Obama, carbon emissions trading, Debt, ETS, Hamas, Hillary Clinton, Iran nuclear program, Kevin Rudd, Nobel Peace Prize, NSW Labor Government, NSW Shooters Party, Obama Fan Club, Penny Wong, Pittsburgh Steelers, President of USA, Tony Abbott, White House
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Virgin on the Political
George Brandis claimed that Julia Gillard is not qualified to pronounce on parenting because she doesn’t have children. He was however quite happy for her to discuss virginity with the hopelessly unqualified Tony Abbott.
Ball Control
There seems to be a concerted move in the UK to prevent John Terry’s sexual indiscretions being placed in the same league as Tiger’s. It is claimed he merely put the finishing touches to a movement down his right flank.
Blockbuster
Serena Williams victory in the Australian Open seemed to be the antithesis of the outcome in Avatar.
Sheer Terror
Obama is searching for the ideal environment for the trial of the 9/11 masterminds now that the Big Apple plan has been juiced. Support is growing for setting up a video link between the courtroom and the defendants traveling on a pilotless plane on course to crash into Al Qaeda central.
Lord Blair of Baghdad
The Iraq Inquiry in the UK seems increasingly like a deliberate attempt to undermine George W Bush’s place in history and pin all the blame for the war on Tony Blair. And it’s an absolute scandal that so far there’s been no mention of John Howard.
The Penny Hasn’t Dropped
Kevin and Penny Wong are having a third go at getting the Lazarus ETS legislation passed by parliament.
They must either know something the rest of us don’t or don’t know something the rest of us do.
The evidence available to mere mortals indicates that the EU’s ETS is useless, Europe won’t set emissions reductions targets before the US who won’t set them before China who won’t set them. The scientific evidence underpinning an ETS looks increasingly discredited and the only delegates in Copenhagen who looked remotely interested in taking urgent action on climate change were Kevin, Penny and those from small developing countries excited by the prospect of a big cash handout.
Perhaps its just that Kevin and Penny have seen An Inconvenient Truth too many times or they haven’t yet seen the latest Newspoll.
Men of Action
Kevin and Obama are both heavily criticised for being all talk and no action. Perhaps action has become an unacceptable political risk undertaken only by carpetbaggers like George W Bush and Tony Abbott.
Tags: 9/11, Al Qaeda, Avatar, Barack Obama, Big Apple, Copenhagen, Copenhagen Conference, ETS, George Brandis, George Bush, George W Bush, John Howard, John Terry, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Penny Wong, Serena Williams, The Iraq Inquiry, Tiger Woods, Tony Abbott, Tony Blair
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Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
29th January 2010
Dear Mr President,
You’d love Australia Day. It’s the day when Australians behave the like they’re supposed to behave. Most of them would be arrested on any other day in the year. I had a wonderful time at the Beauthaven multicultural sausage sizzle and this year Neville managed to get home from the RSL without the assistance of the ambulance service or the police.
Nothing much happens in Australia during January. Kevin’s been at the MCG and SCG pretending he likes cricket and Tony Abbott’s been advising women to hang on to their virginity as long as possible presumably to give him time to get round them all.
I loved your quote about preferring to be an effective president for one term rather than a mediocre one for two. Stuffing up a country shouldn’t take any longer than four years. If George W had only taken that long we could already have had four more years to recover.
I had to laugh about that advertising campaign in the UK which poses the question who is the bigger terrorist you or Ahmadinejad. Apparently Ahmadinejad has already voted for you.
Papua New Guinea are undertaking an interesting social experiment. All the inmates have escaped from the prisons and so the rest of the population have locked themselves away. I hope it all turns out for the best because the joint wasn’t working the other way round.
Following Tony Abbott’s comments about virginity this week our World Affairs Think Tank debated one of the most profound social issues facing the world today “Should women retain their virginity until marriage?”
Gladys opened the debate with a resounding ‘yes’. She said that in her experience affairs were much more meaningful after marriage.
Our Mavis’ Bert strongly disagreed. He claimed that if virginity is left alone for too long it tended to go off so it should have a strict ‘use-by’ date.
Our Mavis said pre-marital sex has enabled her to break through the glass ceiling although swinging from chandeliers is not everyone’s cup of tea.
Cyril said that women don’t understand how valuable their virginity is until they put it up for auction on e-bay.
Marge expressed the strong view that women should lose their virginity around eighteen and regain it pre-marriage. They can do amazing things with botox these days.
Mildred claimed it all depended on a woman’s chosen career path. If aspirations leaned towards becoming a nun or headmistress of a girl’s school then virginity was a prime job qualification. On the other hand virginity would have severely handicapped her pathway to stardom as a Vegas lap dancer.
Arthur believed that male virginity was a papal fantasy and the Catholic Church would be a place where you could safely take children if priests could lose it responsibly like everyone else.
It was left to me to sum up this incredibly incisive and emotional exchange of views. I recalled that the loss of virginity was the most complex decision I’m ever likely to make in the back set of a car. I stressed that in making such a decision a woman had to be absolutely clear about what sort of position it could get her into.
I’ll bet you don’t get this sort of stimulating social stuff from anywhere else.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Ahmadinejad, Australia Day, Barack Obama, botox, Catholic Church, George Bush, George W Bush, Kevin Rudd, Obama Fan Club, Papua New Guinea, Tony Abbott, virginity
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