Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’

This week Guy the Friday Mash Superfly decided to stay on in Washington. All the long distance buzzing around has tired him out. However he managed once again to penetrate White House security and alight on an Oval Office wall just as the President was discussing the healthcare bill triumph with Nancy Pelosi. Here is Guy’s exclusive report.
‘A great moment in history’ said Obama ‘we did it. You were magnificent’
‘Thank you Mr President’ said Nancy ‘and congratulations on becoming the President who finally fixed healthcare’
‘Saving that half trillion dollars in Medicare was critical’ said Obama ‘I don’t know how you did it’
‘I didn’t’ said Nancy ‘I had to spend it on the new healthcare bureaucracy. I thought you said you had saved it’
‘I did’ said Obama ‘ but I had to spend it on extra child support now that I’m not paying for abortions. Thank goodness health insurance premiums will be cheaper’.
‘Oh sure’ said Nancy ‘but don’t forget we’re forcing the health insurers to insure people who are sick for a change so they might bring everything up’
‘Hopefully’ said Obama ‘you didn’t have to make any extravagant promises to secure those critical Democrat votes’
‘Nothing much’ said Nancy ‘I only promised two congressmen a date with your wife and I promised another he could use Air Force One for his holidays’
‘Well it’s all in a good cause’ said Obama ‘are you sure there’s nothing else?’
‘Pretty much’ said Nancy ‘a couple of congresswomen wanted a dirty weekend with you but they settled for full-size blow-up Obama dolls’
‘Did it get nasty in the trenches? asked Obama ‘you didn’t have to use any strongarm tactics to get the Blue Dog vote did you?’
‘Well nothing too dramatic’ said Nancy ‘one of them didn’t cave in to water -boarding but went to water when I threatened to arrange an interview for him on the Glenn Beck Show’
‘So that’s it’ said Obama ‘we’ve finally put healthcare to bed’
‘Right on’ said Nancy ‘although perhaps there are one or two issues we need to resolve like the thousands of doctors threatening to leave the system, the thirty-odd states who are going to challenge the legality of the legislation in the courts, the fact that we’ll lose our majority in the Senate and the House of Representatives next November and the majority of Americans think we’re somewhere to the left of Mao’
‘But in the final analysis we did this for the people’ said Obama ‘to make them understand that in a democracy like America they always have a choice. They can either take out healthcare insurance or we’ll punish them. You can’t introduce a new healthcare plan without inflicting pain’
‘There’s just one other thing though’ said Nancy ‘you do understand that all this is going to send the country broke don’t you?’
Tags: abortions, Air Force One, Barack Obama, child support, Glenn Beck, Guy the Fly, health insurance, healthcare bill, Medicare, Nancy Pelosi, Obama Healthcare, Obamacare, Senate, White House
Posted in Fly on the Wall | 3 Comments »

No longer in their prime
It’s so stimulating when former prime ministers re-enter the political debate.
After a long pregnancy Malcolm Fraser has finally gone into Labor. John Howard is claiming that Tony Abbott is his clone and has sparked an urgent undercover mission to find and destroy the laboratory responsible.
Paul Keating is all bananas and no republic.
Fair and unbalanced
There was a wonderful interlude recently on Lateline. See: http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/201003/r533047_3045728.asx
Tony Jones asked Stephen Conroy the Minister for Communications if he knew anyone at the ABC who was prejudiced against climate change sceptics. Incredibly Stephen answered in the negative. They obviously haven’t been introduced.
Canberra confidential
The Federal Government is refusing to release the Henry Tax Review and the National Broadband Network Review. If early indications are anything to go by they’re welcome to keep the Budget to themselves as well.
It’s really the pits
Hillary cancelled, Yudhoyono postponed once and now Obama’s done it twice. Surely it’s time Kevin’s best friend took him aside for some personal advice.
Acting minister
The home insulation scheme tragedy is now into its second act. As Arts Minister Peter Garrett should fund a stage production.
Termination of terminals
The Sydney Metro was Nathan Rees’ conception but Kristina exercised a woman’s choice by opting for a half billion dollar abortion.
There’s no accounting for it
Obama managed to get the healthcare bill passed but paying it could send the US bankrupt.
Worm droppings
In the great hospitals debate it was sad that the worm didn’t find Tony’s crack about Kevin being the parliamentary anaesthetist at all amusing. Furthermore it was most noticeable that from that point the worm went to sleep while Tony was talking.
Tags: ABC, abortion, Barack Obama, healthcare, Henry Tax Review, Hillary Clinton, home insulation scheme, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, Lateline, Malcolm Fraser, Nathan Rees, Paul Keating, Peter Garrett, President Obama, Stephen Conroy, Sydney Metro, the Worm, Tony Abbott, Tony Jones, US bankrupt, Yudhoyono
Posted in Carbon Emissions | 12 Comments »

Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
25th March 2010
Dear Mr President,
We’re so proud of you here at the Club. I’ve always said that if there’s one thing Americans need its healthcare. All those hot dogs and hamburgers can’t be good for you.
The world’s first Obama Fan Club had a wonderful healthcare celebration party this week. I dressed as a nurse as a bit of a giggle but it really turned Neville on and I gave everyone a tin of bandaids as a momento.
We’ve got over the disappointment of not seeing you this month and look forward to your visit in June. You won’t believe what we’re planning for you. Actually it was my idea. We’re going to invite you to a Tea Party. Don’t panic, here’s the genius bit. We plan to hold it at the former HQ of the Australian Democrats. Unfortunately they became extinct but I know you’ll appreciate the symbolism.
The trip to Aussie will give you the opportunity to relax and forget about health insurance and abortions even those which are two thousand seven hundred pages long.
I was shocked beyond words the other night when I heard what that guy said about Kevin on Lateline. For reference see: http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/201003/r534578_3064633.asx
As you know I’ve always regarded Kevin as a fair dinkum trustworthy Prime Minister who is firm but fair, someone in charge you can really rely on to do the right thing by working families.
This Kroger chap, who’s obviously a Liberal, said Kevin was contemptuous of his staff and colleagues, abusive, difficult to get along with, rude, friendless and an all-round pain in the perpendicular. What’s more he claimed that Julia of all people was ready to knife him for his job.
I’ve been waiting for all his staff and colleagues to flood radio and television with outrage, rebuttals and protestations of undying love. So far nothing’s happened but I’m quietly confident someone will get their arm twisted soon.
As I said to Marge on Monday could it possibly be that I’m wrong about this great man, this 07 heaven which has brought me such hope and inspiration. Actually I wouldn’t mind so such about the swearing, I occasionally lapse myself, or about being abusive to his mates; the thing that worries me most is that he hasn’t got any mates.
It’s a big shock suddenly to be confronted with the possibility that your hero is a monster. I always thought the reason he got a bit grumpy was that he’s had Malcolm and Tony for breakfast so many times he suffers from chronic indigestion.
Marge said that if he was as popular in the electorate as he was in parliament his approval rating would be even lower than Malcolm’s.
She thinks he should spend some time at a four-letter-word addiction clinic. I thought that was a f—ing stupid idea.
Relief at last. Kevin was masterful in the hospitals debate with Tony Abbott last Tuesday. I don’t know exactly where he inserted his scalpel but at the end of the debate Tony was totally knackered.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: abortion, Australian Democrats, Barack Obama, insurance, Julia Gillard, Kevin 07, Kevin Rudd, Kevin07, Lateline, Malcolm Turnbull, Michael Kroger, Obama Healthcare, Obamacare, Tony Abbott
Posted in Obama Fan Club | 2 Comments »
With the utmost respect to Kevin the greatest moral challenge of our time is not climate change but the propensity of politicians to raise taxes after they have promised faithfully not to.
They are absolutely shameless. George ‘read my lips’ Bush, Obama and Kevin have all transgressed and now Tony Abbott’s succumbed to temptation with some post-natal financial depression for business.
Politicians are noticeably reticent about tax increases during election campaigns. A promise to raise taxes would have roughly the same impact on the electorate as a promise to sell off their grandmothers into sexual slavery. Admittedly it might not resonate quite so badly with grandfathers.
Deep within the soul of every serving politician is the urge to do something really worthwhile for the community if only to get re-elected. But that requires a tax increase. If only politicians could come to grips with the incontrovertible truth that to do nothing apart from decreasing taxes is an absolute guarantee of staying in parliament long enough for pension paradise.
We already have income tax, surtax, goods and services tax, payroll tax, excise tax, pretax, corporate tax, capital gains tax, property tax and if you forget syntax you can end up with a long sentence.
Governments have even considered a tax on mistresses and lovers as a way of getting a bit on the side.
Which brings us to the Henry Tax Review. Why are Kevin and Wayne so reluctant to release it? It obviously contains conclusions and recommendations which favour taxpayers rather than the government.
For example there is the strong possibility it recognises that Australians are hopelessly over-taxed. Is it too much to hope that this will lead to a joyous federal election in which Kevin and Tony will try to outbid each other in promising tax cuts? Of course it is.
If the Review is to have any credibility whatsoever it must recommend that the Taxation Department becomes taxpayer friendly and appreciates the benefits which can flow from treating taxpayers humanely and gratefully.
It is surely not too much to expect an annual note of thanks from the Commissioner of Taxation for contributing so generously to his coffers. Special commendations and even discounts would not go amiss to taxpayers showing annual increases in contributions of twenty percent or more. Huge tax contributions over an extended period resulting from extraordinary toil or breathtaking brilliance from taxpayers should be recognised by a gong and an entry in the national accounts.
Back in the real world the Taxation Department assails us with horrendously complex documentation, nasty rude letters, innuendoes, demands and threats all of which offer no encouragement for taxpayers to become kindly and charitable towards them. As a result paying taxes promotes feelings similar to paying off blackmailers without police waiting at the drop-off point.
It is crucial that the Review recommends the withdrawal from state governments of any mandate to collect taxes. Politicians who are so indisciplined in spending taxpayer dollars shouldn’t be trusted to collect them. They could soon become as invasive as banks.
Above all the Review should recognise that Australian business would become much more profitable and tax-productive if they didn’t have to spend a considerable amount of time and money trying to decipher what on earth the Taxation Department is rabbiting on about and whether to relocate to Singapore or the Cayman Islands.
Governments can certainly tax you to death. Hopefully the Review recommends a tax-free after-life even for atheists.
Tags: ATO, Barack Obama, Cayman Islands, Climate Change, election campaigns, George Bush, George W Bush, Henry Tax Review, Kevin Rudd, KRudd, over-taxed, sexual slavery, Singapore, tax cuts, taxes, taxpayers, Tony Abbott, Wayne Swan
Posted in Weekly Mash | No Comments »

Street Wear
When he’s out promoting school hall building programmes Kevin wears a hard hat and he wears surgeon’s gear when he’s talking up his hospitals plan. What on earth will he wear to announce his policy for brothels?
Swearing Out Ceremony
There is a move in California to legislate against foul language. This is indicative that the State Treasury is only slightly more bankrupt than Californian English.
Blocker
The Labor Government wheeled out Stephen Conroy, Jennie Macklin, Penny Wong, Lindsay Tanner and Nicola Roxon for a media conference to moan about Tony Abbott blocking things. These are the architects of the disastrous Telstra plan, the laughable Aboriginal Housing Scheme, the ETS, the debt and deficit and the half-baked hospitals plan. Keep up the good work Tony.
Welcome to the Asylum
News that Yudhoyono is going to arrest people smugglers opens up the prospect of a real earner for the federal government. They could offer asylum seekers a cruise from Indonesia to Christmas Island on the Oceanic Viking for only five thousand dollars. This is less than the people smugglers charge, would earn unstinted praise from Amnesty International and could encourage Hyatt Hotels to build a decent pad on Christmas Island.
Travelling by Tube
It was disappointing to hear that Lara’s engagement ring had gone down the toilet especially, as now seems likely, she was wearing it at the time.
Unsuitable Treatment
It turned really frosty in Sydney when Kevin dropped in to talk to Kristina about hospitals. This was obviously another disastrous effect of climate change.
Non-Stop Motoring
Experts advise that you should only engage cruise control on Toyota vehicles if you’re low on petrol and on a long trip down a straight motorway.
Obama Drama
It looks like Obama wont be coming to Australia until his healthcare bill has been passed. He’s blaming Tony Abbott for blocking it in the Senate.
Tags: Aboriginal Housing Scheme, Amnesty International, asylum seekers, Barack Obama, Christmas Island, Climate Change, ETS, Health, healthcare, healthcare bill, hospitals, Hyatt Hotels, Indonesia, Jennie Macklin, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, KRudd, Labor Government, Labour Party, Lara Bingle, Lindsay Tanner, Nicola Roxon, Oceanic Viking, Penny Wong, people smugglers, Peter Costello, Stephen Conroy, Telstra, Tony Abbott, Toyota, Yudhoyono
Posted in Carbon Emissions | No Comments »

Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
19th March 2010
Dear Mr President,
It’s been a terrible week here.
First we get news that your family aren’t coming with you to Australia, then we’re told you’re coming here later than planned, then you’re only coming for twenty-four hours missing out Sydney and may not come at all if the healthcare bill doesn’t get passed.
Kevin can’t get anything passed either. If you ask me you both need a good dose of prunes.
Mildred and I are even considering going to Canberra just to catch a glimpse of you. Give me a wave if you see me in the crowd. I’ll be wearing my pink and beige floral number so I should be pretty easy to spot.
I’ve cancelled the provisional booking for your address at the local RSL conference centre and told the mayor he can hang up his chain for the day. It’s such a shame.
I’m terribly worried about Kevin. His poll numbers are in the toilet and everybody’s saying how rude and bad tempered he is. He was even hostile to our premier Kristina who’s such a lovely woman. Neville’s really got the hots for her. It’s a bit confusing when your husband is threatening to elope with the NSW Premier.
I’m relying on you to give Kevin a bit of a surge while you’re here. He seems to be spending all his time in hospitals and churches. I’m worried he’ll get confused and hand round a bedpan for the church collection. They never provide restrooms in churches so he might collect more than he bargained for.
By the way please don’t mention the ETS when you’re with Kevin. He seems to have gone right off it. Maybe he’ll recover in time for the next climate change conference in Mexico. It looks like the drug cartels will be running the country by then so we’ll be able to see whether things really do go better with coke. Oh I am awful sometimes.
Instead of our usual World Affairs Think Tank session this week the Club put together a list of must-do things for you in Australia. I hope it will come in handy.
You’ve got to buy the children’s book written by Kevin. I think it’s called ‘Snow White and the 07 Kevins’.
Please tell everyone that Kevin is the loveliest, most delightful, good-tempered, polite, intelligent and generous man you’ve ever met. Yes I know it’s not true but you’re the only person who could say it without causing raucous laughter.
If you get served Coon cheese in the parliament canteen please don’t take it personally.
I’m sure you wont feel out of place when you find you’re the only black person in the Australian Parliament. There are two Browns however and both of them are green.
If you haven’t had time to write your speech to the joint sitting of Parliament why don’t you pick up a copy of the one Yudwhoyouknow gave them a couple of weeks ago when you’re in Indonesia. I’m sure no-one would notice if you did an encore and it contains all the right stuff about terrorists, co-operation, how wonderful Australia and Kevin are with no mention of the ETS.
Whatever you do don’t pass on any advice to your daughters from Tony Abbott. But Sarah Palin might appreciate it.
Unfortunately you wont have time this trip to come with me to watch the Eels. They lost to the Saints in the opener but I’ll book you a seat for the grand final because they’re bound to be there.
Till next week.
Gaelene Woo,
President
Tags: Barack Obama, Coon cheese, drug cartels, Eels, ETS, Gordon Brown, Indonesia, Kevin 07, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, KRudd, Mexico, Michele Obama, NSW Premier, Obama Healthcare, Obamacare, Saints, Sarah Palin, Terrorism, terrorist attacks, Tony Abbott, Yudhoyono
Posted in Obama Fan Club | No Comments »

OBAMA RUDD CALL
This week Guy the Friday Mash Superfly winged his way back to the US, managed to penetrate White House security and found a place on an Oval Office wall just as the President was on the phone to the Prime Minister of Australia.

Guy showed great courage in undertaking this mission in view of the President’s well-publicised skills in fly zapping. Here is his exclusive report.
‘You’re right Kevin’ said Obama ‘I had no idea how difficult it would be to get a healthcare plan up and running. It’s being blocked by Republicans and healthy people’
‘I see you’ve got Nicola Roxon out there fronting your hospitals plan. It’s such a great idea to have a patient doing the selling for you. I do hope she makes a full recovery’
‘The problem is I want a comprehensive healthcare plan but the Republicans just want to strip everything off. No, not Sarah Palin thank goodness’
‘Those price-gouging health insurance companies only want to insure healthy people. Yes that’s a great idea Kevin, a publicly owned health insurance scheme which only insures people in bad health but is paid for by taxes from healthy people. Wait a bit though wouldn’t that mean that healthy people would claim to be suffering from some awful disease like neo-liberalism? Of course, that would be a dead giveaway. They’re just the people we want to tax. Brilliant’
‘Will my healthcare plan send America broke? Of course not. We’ve had Barnaby Joyce over here going through the numbers and he’s found the trillions we owe are actually billions’
‘Yes I’m definitely going to try and get the healthcare bill passed through reconciliation. What’s that? Reconciliation works better if you say ‘sorry’ first. I don’t think that would work over here’
‘It looks like Gordon Brown’s going to lose the UK election. Yes I know, he can be a terrible bully. I don’t think it’s going to be a problem for us because David Cameron seems like forty-five degrees to the left of Sean Penn and the Chinese Politburo.
‘What’s the ETS situation down there? Oh really, that bad. Frankly we’re reluctant to do too much about climate change in the US in case we cause next winter to be even colder than this one. But didn’t Malcolm Turnbull cross the floor to vote for the ETS?
Yes its such shame that he’s a republican’
‘No sorry Kevin I can’t lease Guantanamo Bay to you just yet. I know you’ve got asylum seeker problems but someone in my administration has just had the brilliant idea that down there would be the ideal place to put the terrorists on trial. Eric Holder wanted the trials to be in New York. Can you imagine all the cost and the chaos that would cause?’
‘Yes. I’m rally looking forward to the trip to Australia and meeting people like Tony Abbott. Really, but I heard he was the leader of the liberals. You mean to say that some of the liberals over there are conservatives? Then how can I tell the difference between the left-wing liberals and the conservative liberals. Oh I see the left-wing liberals are hairy and don’t dress very well just like Barney Frank. Thanks that’s a real help’
‘Is there anything I can bring over for you? What about a copy of my healthcare plan? No ? Yes I’m really looking to addressing the joint session of parliament. Just a thought. Peter Garrett didn’t insulate the parliament building did he?’
Tags: Barack, Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Barney Frank, Chinese Politburo, Climate Change, David Cameron, Eric Holder, ETS, Fly on the Wall, Gordon Brown, Guantanamo Bay, Guy the Fly, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, neo-liberalism, Nicola Roxon, Obama Healthcare, Obamacare, President of US, Sarah Palin, Sean Penn, Tony Abbott, UK election
Posted in Fly on the Wall | 17 Comments »

No Interest
No wonder the Reserve Bank doesn’t have any customers. It’s always the first to raise interest rates.
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Full Montys
Everyone who turned up at the Opera House with their gear off had parts in the mass nude shoot. Most of them were private.
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The Right Prescription
Kevin’s hospitals plan is very timely. People are beginning to get sick of him.
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A Suitable Case for Treatment
State governments running hospitals are not good for our health, the federal-state shared responsibility structure is a bigger health threat than smoking, and giving Nicola Roxon sole charge of hospitals would make Peter Garrett look like an expert on safety in the home.
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A Candidate for Premier
It is difficult to ascertain if Michelle Chantelois is a candidate in the upcoming South Australian election. Most commentators, however, agree that she’s an also-Rann.
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A Really Sorry Day
Political strategists believe it will be another six months before Kevin starts apologising for his hospitals plan.
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The Name Game
Hugo Chavez recently called Hillary Clinton ‘the blond Condoleezza’. How outrageous. The next thing he‘ll be calling Obama ‘the black George W Bush’.
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Bad Taste
Following his sojourn in the outback Tony Abbott is undecided about which left the nastier taste in his mouth, Malcolm crossing the floor or witchetty grubs.
Tags: Barack Obama, Condoleezza Rice, George W Bush, Health, healthcare, Hillary Clinton, hospitals, Hugo Chavez, interest rates, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Michelle Chantelois, Mike Rann, Nicola Roxon, Opera House, Peter Garrett, President of US, RBA, Sorry, Tony Abbott, witchetty grubs
Posted in Carbon Emissions | No Comments »

Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
12th March 2010
Dear Mr President,
On the whole I think Kevin’s had a slightly better week.
He’s stopped apologising and gone into hospitals. I think he went in for an operation to remove Peter Garrett but it only seems to have been partially successful.
Hopefully his minders will stop him doing tours of the wards. He’s got the bedside manner of a bedpan.
I must say that much as I love him there are times when I feel like giving Kevin a really good shake. Just as he gets out from under roofs falling in on him he goes and picks a fight with the state premiers over hospitals.
Mind you I think Kevin’s on the right track. Your chances of survival in a NSW hospital are roughly equivalent to those of a suicide bomber on a second mission.
The NSW state premier is a lovely woman, one of your mob from Toledo Ohio. I’m sure she doesn’t know an enema from a seminar but she’s really got her knickers in a twist about Kevin’s hospitals plan. And if it turns into a beauty contest with Kristina things could really turn ugly for Kevin.
Its been reported that Kevin is not going abroad much this year. I think that’s because he’s going to spend much more time in church praying to Mary MacKillop. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Kevin was her third miracle.
Now I know its only a week or two before you arrive here but we thought it would be really useful for you if the World Affairs Think Tank came up with some great ideas for your address to the joint session of the Australian Parliament. Hopefully you’ll have enough time to slot our stuff in.
Our Mavis’ Bert’s brother Fred thought you should have a devastating response ready if Bob Brown interrupts you just like he interrupted George W. He suggested ‘Shut up you Tassie tree-hugger. They serve wood chips like you at McDonalds’.
Marge said you should remind our pollies that there’s as much chance of insulating Australia’s economy from the global financial pressures as there is of insulating Australia from the second go at the home insulation scheme.
Cyril suggested you could significantly boost Kevin’s morale by explaining how much deeper you’ve led the US into the financial doodoo compared with us.
Mildred wanted you to tell our Parliament to be ready to take over as the most powerful nation in the world in case your country drops its bundle. She said it was important to for us to step in ahead of China because they if they got too much power they might intern Kevin for speaking Chinese with a Canberra accent and stop us bowling chinamen.
Joyce said that if you wanted to raise a laugh you could tell our parliamentarians you saw more of Kevin last year than they did.
I expressed the hope that you will give Kevin a real rap because he really needs it. And whatever you do don’t mention the ETS or Kevin getting pissed in a New York nightclub.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Barack, Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Bob Brown, China, ETS, George Bush, George W Bush, Greens, healthcare, home insulation scheme, hospitals, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, Mary MacKillop, McDonalds, NSW Premier, Obama Fan Club, Peter Garrett, President of US, Sorry, suicide bomber, Toledo Ohio
Posted in Obama Fan Club | No Comments »

Back from two brilliantly successful assignments in the US Guy the Friday Mash Superfly managed to find space on a wall overlooking an emergency meeting of Kevin’s spin doctors. Here is his exclusive report.
‘This insulation thing’s an absolute disaster’ said Greg ‘We can’t unload any of the blame onto Malcolm or Tony. What the hell are we going to do about it?’
‘I think we should re-emphasise Kevin’s commitment to working families’ said Brendan
‘Are you kidding?’ snapped Greg ‘most of them are cowering in their homes frightened their roof is about to catch fire’
‘Perhaps this is the time’ said Sharon ‘to introduce a new idiosyncratic Kevin phrase like ‘systemic programmatic specificities’
‘Perhaps this is the time Shaz for you to get a job with Tony Abbott’ said Greg
‘I’ve got it’ said Brendan ‘we should package Kevin as the Global Statesman’

Illustration: Jim Pavlidis (The Age)
‘They’re not going to buy it’ said Greg ‘Copenhagen was an unmitigated Kevin disaster, nobody can understand what he’s talking about in China even when he talks in English and he’s just sent an ambassador to Washington in a wheelchair’
‘Bingo’ said Sharon ‘Kevin 07 plus 3. The man who saved Australia from a complete insulation disaster by taking the courageous and fearless decision to fire Peter Garrett.
‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he’ll probably have to save Australia from further disasters by courageously and fearlessly firing Nicola Roxon and Stephen Conroy and then maybe the public will start thinking its time to courageously and fearlessly fire Kevin. Hold that thought on Kevin 07 plus 3 though. That’s interesting’
‘I’ve had an idea’ said Brendan ‘Obama’s coming here soon. Perhaps we could persuade him to call Kevin the Wizard of Oz or something’
‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he might get mixed up and call him the Tin Man or the Man of Tin’
‘I know’ said Sharon ‘the Action Man’
‘Oh please’ said Greg ‘That’s just the point. He hasn’t done anything except hand out money’
‘But’ said Sharon ‘we could portray him as the Super Action Man who takes on and defeats Action Man Abbott’
‘Oh sure’ said Greg ‘I can just see Kevin poleaxing Tony in a boxing ring or wearing budgie smugglers. On Kevin they’d look more like tadpole smugglers’
‘Ok smarty’ said Sharon ‘what’s your brilliant idea then? If we don’t come up with a new spin strategy soon there’s a danger the public will begin to see Kevin as he really is.
‘My key spin strategy is to get Kevin to accept responsibility for the insulation disaster’ said Greg ‘The public will appreciate the gesture but nobody will seriously believe its his fault. Then to reinforce that belief he should fire Peter’
‘Brilliant’ said Sharon ‘we can then spin him as the mea culpa prime minister. The public will suss its Kevin selflessly taking the blame for his incompetent minister’
‘And if it works for insulation’ said Brendan ‘it can work for hospitals, the national broadband network, the ETS …’
‘Yes alright’ said Greg ‘ Let’s get Kevin in to brief him on the mea culpa prime minister spin strategy and Shaz ring Kerry O’Brien to book a date to launch it on The 7.30 Report.
Tags: Ambassabor to Washington, Barack Obama, China, Copenhagen, education, ETS, Fly on the Wall, Guy the Fly, home insulation scheme, Kevin Rudd, Kevin07, KRudd, Malcolm Turnbull, national broadband network, Nicola Roxon, Peter Garrett, President Obama, Stephen Conroy, systemic programmatic specificities, Tony Abbott, Wizard of Oz
Posted in Fly on the Wall | No Comments »