Yap No. 9
I quite like Martha’s Vineyard but it’s a bit of a boring place for dogs. There’s not even a decent cat to chase. But the Obama family are vacationing here at my insistence.
Given the grandstanding going on in the media about Big O taking a holiday at all, imagine the hoo-hah if I hadn’t convinced him the French Riviera was not a good idea.
Big O and I were out on a bit of a power-walk along the coast when he said to me ‘I’m worried that people don’t seem to comprehend where I stand politically’
‘How do you mean?’ I asked
‘Well’ said Big O ‘some believe that I’m too far to the Left and others that I’m too far to the Right’
‘Oh’ I said ‘so where are you?’
‘I’ve always thought of myself’ said Big O ‘as a bit to the left of Jack Kennedy, a bit to the right of Jimmy Carter and a bit to the side of Bill Clinton’
‘No’ I said ‘that was Monica’
‘Very funny’ said Big O
‘Howard Dean’ I said ‘thinks you’re a borderline conservative’
‘Howard Dean’ said Big O ‘ is so far to the left he thinks the communist party is a capitalist plot to avoid the cost of elections’
‘There’s a guy on Fox News who thinks you’re a communist’ I said
‘I know who you mean’ said Big O ‘he’s the guy who thinks Sarah Palin is a gift from God’
‘That clinches it’ I said ‘I always suspected God was a Republican. As a matter of interest exactly what sort of a Democrat are you?’
‘Interesting question’ said Big O ‘I’m basically a Rev Wright anti-George W demagogue with a touch of Martin Luther King and Ronald Reagan all neatly parcelled up at the Rod Blagojevich Chicago Democrat finishing school’
‘I thought you were a progressive’ I said
‘Well I am on some things’ said Big O ‘like healthcare and illegal immigrants but when it comes to firing drones at Al Qaeda I tend more towards a Rumsfeld-Al Capone philosophy’
‘Aren’t you a mate of Bill Ayres?’ I asked
‘Not really’ said Big O ‘If I want any advice on blowing up buildings I’ve got the Pentagon and Rahm Emanuel’
‘I see Harry Reid and Howard Dean are opposing you on the New York mosque’ I said
‘I know’ said Big O ‘but Harry just wants to get re-elected and Howard’s desperate to say something that somebody will agree with’
‘That was an interesting comment you made’ I said ‘about wanting to do the right things rather than the things that would get you re-elected’
‘You bet’ said Big O ‘but based on my current polling I’m not going to get re-elected even if I do the wrong things. Ok let’s head back now’
‘Big O’ I said ‘you’re going the wrong way. Our place is over there to the right’
‘Sorry Bo’ said Big O ‘I’ve never been good at knowing my right from my left’
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