Posts Tagged ‘China’
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
28th May 2010
Dear Mr. President,
I’m terribly worried abut Wayne. He’s come up with this budget which all depends on gouging squillions out of the mining industry and I think he’s totally stuffed it.
This Hooray Henry bloke did a review of the Aussie Tax System and comes up with a hundred and thirty odd recommendations to reduce the number of taxes and one to introduce a new one. And so what do you think Wayne does? You’ve guessed it. He ignores the one hundred and thirty odd recommendations but introduces the new tax.
Even Tony Abbott could see that was asking for trouble let alone Blind Freddie.
Wayne is promising to do all sorts of wonderful things on corporate tax and super and save us from debt with money he hasn’t got and doesn’t look like getting. It’s like me promising to buy Neville a brewery from my winnings when the Eels win the premiership in September.
I can’t believe dear Kevin agreed to all this. He must have been smoking something.
Believe me I’m not a fan of the mining companies, but if Wayne carries on with this super profits thing they’ll soon be exporting themselves rather than iron ore.
Then a crack will appear in Wayne’s bottom line and he’ll start crapping over all of us.
I think Kevin and Wayne are actually trying to kibosh Western Australia because they’ve got a state Liberal Government who won’t cough a third of their GST to Kevin for hospitals. They’re worried that if they don’t slow down the mining industry over there the WA economy will soon be bigger than the rest of Australia.
The threat of the new mining tax has sent the Aussie dollar plunging. Wayne has single-handedly already increased the cost of our Fiji holiday by ten percent. I feel like sending him the bill.
Then he has the absolute gall to say that his super profits tax will be good for the mining industry because it will slow things down. I mean doesn’t the clown understand it will also slow his super tax receipts down? I think Wayne’s losing it.
I’ve written a letter to Kevin suggesting that Wayne should have some time off to export himself to China.
We discussed the super profits tax at the Obama Fan Club this week. Marge who is an even bigger Kevin supporter than I am thinks that Wayne’s doing all this because he goes on holiday to Noosa and the falling dollar doesn’t affect him.
Mavis’ cousin works down a mine and says if Kevin is right and our minerals belong to all Australians why won’t they let him take home his share every night?
Albert thinks Wayne is a financial genius and compared with Albert he probably is.
I feel so strongly about it that I’ve also written to Kevin warning him that a super profits tax will put an end to super profits. Although I must say that if Twiggy Forrest’s bank balance becomes as slim as that other Twiggy it won’t fuss me too much.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Barack Obama, China, falling Australian dollar, Gaelene Woo, GST, Henry Tax Review, hospitals, Kevin Rudd, Liberal Government, mining tax, Obama Fan Club, super profits tax, Tony Abbott, Twiggy Forrest, Wayne Swan
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Story No. 30
There was no holding George after he won a second term. He was like a dog with three or four tails. I was frightened he might do something stupid like another ‘Mission Accomplished’ thing on an aircraft carrier.
Frankly I don’t think he had much to beat. Kerry and Edwards would struggle to get elected as candidates for the communist party in China. Karl Rove did a pretty good job on George’s campaign but if I’d been in charge he’d have won by a mile.
‘George’ I said ‘this is a big opportunity for you to go down in the annals of history as a bold visionary President’
‘What do you mean?’ asked George
‘Well’ I said ‘you’ve got the gig for another four years, you don’t have to worry about re-election so you can throw a few Hail Mary passes and swing at a few first pitches’
‘What sort of things did you have in mind?’ asked George
‘For a start’ I said ‘you could open a university specialising in politics and only allow graduates to contest elections’
‘Why?’ asked George ‘I didn’t need a degree in politics. I learned everything from my dad’
‘That’s my point’ I said ‘he told you to go all the way to Baghdad and look where it got you. And we’d have been spared Dick Cheney as vice-president because the only thing he could ever graduate in is grievous bodily harm’
‘Anything else Barney’ asked George sarcastically
‘Yes’ I said ‘you’ve got to do something about Hispanic illegal immigrants’
‘Why?’ asked George ‘are they trafficking drugs?’
‘The problem as I’ve told you before’ I said ‘is they’re becoming citizens and voting Democrat’
‘That’s serious’ said George ‘what on earth can we do?’
‘Easy ‘I said ‘offer free flights from Mexico and instant citizenship to illegal immigrants prepared to join the Republican Party and any illegal immigrants already here who don’t carry a Republican Party membership card should immediately be sent home’
‘Isn’t that profiling or racist or something?’ asked George
‘No’ I said ‘it’s a new type of Mexican Wave called Good-bye’
‘Brilliant’ said George now much more enthusiastic’ anything else?’
‘Yes’ I said ‘you’ve got to reform Wall St.’
‘Why’ asked George ‘are they sitting on the fence or are the bulls becoming too bearish?’
‘They’re charging like wounded bulls’ I said ‘but in 2000 you proved you can put the knife in without being Gored’
‘Ole’ said George
‘And one more thing’ I said ‘You’ve got to do something about this country’s image abroad. They all think we’re a pack of arrogant, warmongering, overbearing bullies’
‘I’ll soon fix that ‘said George ‘I’ll do a ‘Mission Accomplished’ world tour’
‘No George’ I said ‘that’s the point. You should do a ‘Mission Not Accomplished’ world tour’
‘How about if I went over to Tehran’ said George ‘and as a goodwill gesture helped open a McDonalds franchise’
‘George’ I said ‘I think you’d get fried with that’
Tags: Baghdad, Bush & Barney, Bush and Barney, China, Dick Cheney, George Bush, George W Bush, Hispanic illegal immigrants, illegal immigrants, John Edwards, John Kerry, Karl Rove, Mexican Wave, Republican Party, Roger Pugh, trafficking drugs, Wall St
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Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
9th April 2010
Dear Mr President,
You are simply not going to believe this. My beloved Eels got beaten by the Cronulla Sharks of all people. That’s like your mob the Chicago White Sox getting trounced by the Alaskan Little Leaguers coached by Sarah Palin.
I follow the Eels religiously especially at Easter but sometimes my faith is sorely tested especially now that the Tigers are playing like Angels.
What do you think about this dreadful business with the catholic priests. I hope you’ve given the Pope a bit of a rollocking over it. I’d love to give him a piece of my mind. Fancy confessing to someone who’s got more to confess than you have. If he needs any help tell the Pope I’ve got a guaranteed way of making a prelate celibate. Give him a good hard kick in the cobblers.
I was shocked to hear that Malcolm’s getting out of politics though I wont miss him much and neither will Tony. Fancy trying to get Kevin fired for doing his mate John a good turn. Then he tried to help Kevin with the ETS and really stuffed that. And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was Malcolm who persuaded Kevin to get into that insulation mess.
Malcolm reminded me of someone driving one of those Toyota cars with the accelerator jammed on 200kms an hour. He was racing flat out towards the prime ministers office knocking over Brendan Nelson and Godwin Grech on the way before finally crashing into the ETS barrier which Kevin had craftily put in his way.
I’m terribly worried that Kevin is overheating. He’s trying to stop global warming and people’s roofs catching fire while Tony’s applying a blowtorch to his backside over schools and hospitals.
Neville says that if you’ve got a few bucks to spare he’ll go into partnership with you in a hospitals building company and there might still be some business to pick up from schools. In view of where most of his stimulus money’s been going recently I’m sure Kevin would see it as an improvement if some of it landed up in the US.
Owing to the Easter break we didn’t have a meeting of the World Affairs Think Tank this week. Hope that’s ok with you. Instead Mildred and I went down to the Canberra Press Club to hear Bob Brown talk about securing Australia’s future energy needs. According to him coal and gas are a total no-no, nuclear power is worse and all he’s keen on is wavepower and windpower. It all sounded like a load of piss and wind to me.
Have you read about that huge Chinese ship carrying coal which crashed into the Barrier Reef? Bloody outrage. I’d arrest the captain and charge him with cruising round the Barrier Reef without a licence from Queensland Tourism. Then I’d sentence him to ten years and send him back to China in exchange for Stern Hu and a massive iron ore contract.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo,
President
Tags: Alaskan Little Leaguers, Balmain Tigers, Barrier Reef, Bob Brown, Brendan Nelson, Canberra Press Club, Chicago White Sox, China, Cronulla Sharks, education revolution, Eels, ETS, global warming, Godwin Grech, healthcare, iron ore, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Queensland Tourism, Sarah Palin, Stern Hu, stimulus, The Pope, Tony Abbott, Toyota cars, US
Posted in Obama Fan Club | No Comments »
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
12th March 2010
Dear Mr President,
On the whole I think Kevin’s had a slightly better week.
He’s stopped apologising and gone into hospitals. I think he went in for an operation to remove Peter Garrett but it only seems to have been partially successful.
Hopefully his minders will stop him doing tours of the wards. He’s got the bedside manner of a bedpan.
I must say that much as I love him there are times when I feel like giving Kevin a really good shake. Just as he gets out from under roofs falling in on him he goes and picks a fight with the state premiers over hospitals.
Mind you I think Kevin’s on the right track. Your chances of survival in a NSW hospital are roughly equivalent to those of a suicide bomber on a second mission.
The NSW state premier is a lovely woman, one of your mob from Toledo Ohio. I’m sure she doesn’t know an enema from a seminar but she’s really got her knickers in a twist about Kevin’s hospitals plan. And if it turns into a beauty contest with Kristina things could really turn ugly for Kevin.
Its been reported that Kevin is not going abroad much this year. I think that’s because he’s going to spend much more time in church praying to Mary MacKillop. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Kevin was her third miracle.
Now I know its only a week or two before you arrive here but we thought it would be really useful for you if the World Affairs Think Tank came up with some great ideas for your address to the joint session of the Australian Parliament. Hopefully you’ll have enough time to slot our stuff in.
Our Mavis’ Bert’s brother Fred thought you should have a devastating response ready if Bob Brown interrupts you just like he interrupted George W. He suggested ‘Shut up you Tassie tree-hugger. They serve wood chips like you at McDonalds’.
Marge said you should remind our pollies that there’s as much chance of insulating Australia’s economy from the global financial pressures as there is of insulating Australia from the second go at the home insulation scheme.
Cyril suggested you could significantly boost Kevin’s morale by explaining how much deeper you’ve led the US into the financial doodoo compared with us.
Mildred wanted you to tell our Parliament to be ready to take over as the most powerful nation in the world in case your country drops its bundle. She said it was important to for us to step in ahead of China because they if they got too much power they might intern Kevin for speaking Chinese with a Canberra accent and stop us bowling chinamen.
Joyce said that if you wanted to raise a laugh you could tell our parliamentarians you saw more of Kevin last year than they did.
I expressed the hope that you will give Kevin a real rap because he really needs it. And whatever you do don’t mention the ETS or Kevin getting pissed in a New York nightclub.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Barack, Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Bob Brown, China, ETS, George Bush, George W Bush, Greens, healthcare, home insulation scheme, hospitals, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, Mary MacKillop, McDonalds, NSW Premier, Obama Fan Club, Peter Garrett, President of US, Sorry, suicide bomber, Toledo Ohio
Posted in Obama Fan Club | No Comments »
Back from two brilliantly successful assignments in the US Guy the Friday Mash Superfly managed to find space on a wall overlooking an emergency meeting of Kevin’s spin doctors. Here is his exclusive report.
‘This insulation thing’s an absolute disaster’ said Greg ‘We can’t unload any of the blame onto Malcolm or Tony. What the hell are we going to do about it?’
‘I think we should re-emphasise Kevin’s commitment to working families’ said Brendan
‘Are you kidding?’ snapped Greg ‘most of them are cowering in their homes frightened their roof is about to catch fire’
‘Perhaps this is the time’ said Sharon ‘to introduce a new idiosyncratic Kevin phrase like ‘systemic programmatic specificities’
‘Perhaps this is the time Shaz for you to get a job with Tony Abbott’ said Greg
‘I’ve got it’ said Brendan ‘we should package Kevin as the Global Statesman’
Illustration: Jim Pavlidis (The Age)
‘They’re not going to buy it’ said Greg ‘Copenhagen was an unmitigated Kevin disaster, nobody can understand what he’s talking about in China even when he talks in English and he’s just sent an ambassador to Washington in a wheelchair’
‘Bingo’ said Sharon ‘Kevin 07 plus 3. The man who saved Australia from a complete insulation disaster by taking the courageous and fearless decision to fire Peter Garrett.
‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he’ll probably have to save Australia from further disasters by courageously and fearlessly firing Nicola Roxon and Stephen Conroy and then maybe the public will start thinking its time to courageously and fearlessly fire Kevin. Hold that thought on Kevin 07 plus 3 though. That’s interesting’
‘I’ve had an idea’ said Brendan ‘Obama’s coming here soon. Perhaps we could persuade him to call Kevin the Wizard of Oz or something’
‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he might get mixed up and call him the Tin Man or the Man of Tin’
‘I know’ said Sharon ‘the Action Man’
‘Oh please’ said Greg ‘That’s just the point. He hasn’t done anything except hand out money’
‘But’ said Sharon ‘we could portray him as the Super Action Man who takes on and defeats Action Man Abbott’
‘Oh sure’ said Greg ‘I can just see Kevin poleaxing Tony in a boxing ring or wearing budgie smugglers. On Kevin they’d look more like tadpole smugglers’
‘Ok smarty’ said Sharon ‘what’s your brilliant idea then? If we don’t come up with a new spin strategy soon there’s a danger the public will begin to see Kevin as he really is.
‘My key spin strategy is to get Kevin to accept responsibility for the insulation disaster’ said Greg ‘The public will appreciate the gesture but nobody will seriously believe its his fault. Then to reinforce that belief he should fire Peter’
‘Brilliant’ said Sharon ‘we can then spin him as the mea culpa prime minister. The public will suss its Kevin selflessly taking the blame for his incompetent minister’
‘And if it works for insulation’ said Brendan ‘it can work for hospitals, the national broadband network, the ETS …’
‘Yes alright’ said Greg ‘ Let’s get Kevin in to brief him on the mea culpa prime minister spin strategy and Shaz ring Kerry O’Brien to book a date to launch it on The 7.30 Report.
Tags: Ambassabor to Washington, Barack Obama, China, Copenhagen, education, ETS, Fly on the Wall, Guy the Fly, home insulation scheme, Kevin Rudd, Kevin07, KRudd, Malcolm Turnbull, national broadband network, Nicola Roxon, Peter Garrett, President Obama, Stephen Conroy, systemic programmatic specificities, Tony Abbott, Wizard of Oz
Posted in Fly on the Wall | No Comments »
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
15th January 2010
Dear Mr President,
I can’t tell you how excited we all are. We’ve just heard that Hillary is coming to Australia next week and would you believe Prince William is coming at the same time. It’s a good job she’s not a republican.
We obviously couldn’t invite both of them to address the Obama Fan Club during the same week, so we held an emergency meeting of the management committee and chose Hillary because she’s such a wonderful woman and so close to you.
I hope you don’t mind but we’ve sent her a direct message inviting her to our meeting on the nineteenth. She gets booked up so early and I dare say your ambassador Jeff Bleach has already booked her in for a nosh or two with Kevin.
We also told her to bring Bill along too if he’s coming with her. You may recall I told you that Mildred met Bill when she was a pole dancer in Vegas. If we can find a pole I’m sure he’d recognise her.
The Japanese are furious with Julia over whales. She’s doing the PM’s job while Kevin is away writing children’s books.
When it comes to whales there’s a huge cultural difference between the Aussies and the Japs. They believe they should be harpooned and eaten while we see them as cuddly creatures who deserve a better fate than being served as sashimi.
Julia’s thrown one of her headmistress wobblers telling the Japs to stop sinking the protesters’ boats which are trying to sink their whaling ships and suggesting more controversial places to stick their harpoons.
Meanwhile the Japs have told her in no uncertain terms to keep her nose out of it and you can understand why. It’s very large and pointed and would be a very effective substitute for a harpoon.
This week the Club’s World Affairs Think-tank debated whether the Copenhagen Conference had been any use at all.
Hilda said it was inspiring that delegates could still get their knickers in a knot about global warming when they were suffering from frostbite.
Gladys who’s never said anything before made a very critical contribution. She reckoned the Conference would have been a huge success if the other forty thousand delegates had just turned up for the last day like you. It was the previous ten days that caused all the problems.
Neville thought the conference in Mexico might go better because the climate will allow the delegates to demonstrate solar power and not just their wind power.
Mildred made a very astute observation. She reckoned there were too many people there. China and the US got distracted. All you need is a conference where those two agree to a reasonable reduction in emissions and the rest of us can carry on as usual.
I summed up the meeting by blaming Tony Abbott for the mess in Copenhagen. It was his fault the rest of the world didn’t get the chance to adopt Kevin and Penny’s ETS. Though perhaps they were not so inclined to be Penny foolish as pound wise.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, China, Climate Change, Copenhagen Conference, ETS, global warming, Hillary Clinton, Japanese whaling, Jeff Bleach, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Obama, Obama Fan Club, Penny Wong, Prince William, Solar Power, Tony Abbott, Wind power
Posted in Obama Fan Club | 1 Comment »
It’s very exciting that countries from all over the world are bringing so many state-of-the-are ideas to the UN Conference in Copenhagen to tackle the challenge of climate change.
The US is planning to decarbonise Smokin’ Joe Frazier, withdraw all CDs by Nat King Coal, reduce deforestation by not chopping down Tiger Woods and take the temperature down a degree or two by throwing a bucket of cold water over Madonna and Paris Hilton.
The UK is undertaking stringent measures like sending all their coals to Newcastle, limiting the greenhouse effect to tomatoes and replacing the twenty-one gun royal salute with a loud government report and an outbreak of the clap.
Frenchmen are resisting attempts to cut their emissions by claiming it would be the unkindest cut of all.
Germany is only going to Copenhagen to bring home the bacon.
New Zealand was ready with a range of brilliant innovations to take to the Conference. However, they are responsible for such a small percentage of the world’s carbon emissions that the Conference organisers told them to wait until the next conference when hopefully they’ll have enough emissions to achieve a decent decrease.
The Taliban will not attend but have promised to reduce their car bomb emissions.
China is planning to reduce their increase rather than increase their decrease although they believe that their increasing decrease will lead to a decrease rather than an increase.
Russia is preparing to reduce emissions by substituting vodka for petrol. Police are currently working on new breath testing technology which can detect both drunken drivers and sober cars. Drivers will be warned not to fill themselves up at vodka stations.
Fiji is reducing carbon footprints by banning the use of coal in firewalking pits.
Berlusconi is increasing his carbon emissions. He’s giving diamonds to all his girl friends.
Japan will decree that people can’t own both a home and a car. They will either have to live in their car or travel around in their home. The government calculates this will save an incredible amount of energy because citizens will be able to travel almost anywhere without leaving home.
The Irish have forgotten to do anything about climate change. Their sins of emission are nothing compared with their sins of omission.
Thirty-odd thousand delegates are attending the UN Conference. It will take the Danish Government years to get rid of a carbon footprint that big.
India has invented vinda loos. They are powered by passing winds.
Ahmadinejad is going nuclear. Hopefully he’ll go far underground and have a practice run as the world’s first nuclear suicide bomber.
Australia has developed a novel way of tackling climate change. Get rid of political leaders like Malcolm who keep banging on about it and make sure that Kevin stays abroad as much as possible then it all seems to go away. Kevin is determined to produce clean coal but experts expect the idea will fall as flat as decarbonated coke.
UN Conference Organisers believed that so many smoke alarms would be sounded by delegates they didn’t install any in the conference hall.
Tags: Berlusconi, China, Copenhagen, deforestation, Germany, greenhouse effect, Madonna, Nat King Coal, New Zealand, Paris Hilton, Smokin’ Joe Frazier, substituting vodka for petrol, Taliban, Tiger Woods, twenty-one gun royal salute, UK, UN Conference, vinda loos, vodka stations
Posted in International Affairs, Weekly Mash | No Comments »
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
4th December 2009
Dear Mr President,
If you thought last week’s newsletter was one of the most exciting things you’ve ever read, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
This week the Coalition put on a stoush which made the Danny Green-Roy Jones Jnr fight look like handbags at ten paces.
The conservative faction was really pissed with Malcolm for cuddling up to Kevin on the ETS and they thought that his vote counting technique at the Coalition’s meeting on the ETS was straight out of the Ahmadinejad political operations manual.
Then Malcolm’s shadow cabinet starting leaving faster than Wallaby supporters at a match against the All Blacks.
So off they all went to their weekly leadership spill. Anyone besides Malcolm would have developed an inferiority complex.
Joe Hockey who started out clear favourite said he wouldn’t run against his good mate Malcolm but if the Coalition voted for a spill and enough people pleaded with him he would run on the basis of giving all members a conscience vote on the ETS. This was a huge mistake because none of them have got a conscience.
Tony Abbott thinks that the ETS is the equivalent of the Queen Mary arriving in Sydney Harbour with five thousand asylum seekers.
Malcolm recontested the leadership because he was the only one who hadn’t worked out he was going to lose.
Cuddly Joe went down in the first round – pity because he’s a lovely chap for a Liberal – and Tony floored Malcolm in the second round.
I’ve got to hand it to the Coalition. The soap opera they’ve put on over the past two weeks makes ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’ look like the wimpy and the pimply.
Kevin was over there chatting you up when all this happened. He must be rapt. The Liberals couldn’t be in a bigger mess if they’d elected Mark Latham.
I feel a bit sorry for Malcolm. Not too much mind you but he did go down fighting for Kevin. I’m not that keen on Tony Abbott. He’s all pope, speedos and rah-rahs. And he’s blocked Kevin’s ETS in the senate and may stop him saving the world in Copenhagen. Without Kevin’s guidance countries like China and India wont know what on earth to do.
I was thrilled to hear you’re going to Copenhagen to support Kevin. By the way when you saw him this week I hope you reminded him to take his constipation tablets.
Saw Jeff Bleich on TV the other night. What a wonderful man. He’ll make a beaut US ambassador. Will it be alright if I send him a copy of our newsletters? I understand that you want to keep them confidential but they could be such a benefit in bringing him up to speed..
I can’t believe those Iranians and all their nuclear shenanigans. At our club meeting Mildred suggested that once you’ve got your Nobel Peace Award you should immediately start bombing Tehran.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Ahmadinejad, All Blacks, asylum seekers, Barack Obama, China, Coalition, Copenhagen, Danny Green, India, Jeff Bleich, Joe Hockey, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Mark Latham, Nobel Peace Award, President, President of USA, Queen Mary, Roy Jones Jnr, Tehran, The Bold and the Beautiful, Tony Abbott, US ambassador, Wallaby
Posted in Obama Fan Club | No Comments »
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
13th November 2009
Dear Mr President,
I had planned to brief you this week about New Zealand but nothing seems to be happening there. They must be shut for the week.
Australia’s economy seems to be motoring along nicely but Wayne Swan keeps claiming he isn’t out of the woods yet. I was thinking of sending out a search party in case he’d got lost but Neville reckons he’s joined the greens and handcuffed himself to a tree.
That Glenn Stevens at the Reserve Bank keeps putting up interest rates. Who the hell does he think he is? I wrote him a snotty letter to let him know that if anyone should take a decision to increase my mortgage repayments it should be me not him.
Kevin has sent Stephen Wotshisface to Sri Lanka to persuade the locals that seeking asylum in Australia is a bad idea. The people smugglers are telling them it’s a great idea and I’m sure they’ve got a lot more credibility than an Aussie politician.
Marge says she’s not at all surprised that the asylum seekers don’t want to get off the Oceanic Viking. The food is probably the best they’ve ever had, everything’s free, there’s lovely sea views and new port-a-loos sent up specially by Kevin. All they’d get in Indonesia is rice, barbed wire and holes in the ground.
Mildred has thought up a really great idea to persuade the asylum seekers off the Oceanic Viking. On the 25th December tell them it’s Christmas and they will think they’ve arrived at the island.
Kevin and Malcolm seem to have lost interest in the ETS negotiations. Penny Wong and Ian MacFarlane are negotiating in ‘good faith’ behind closed doors. Well I’ve lost all faith in the whole lot of them. And you know what Penny’s like. By the time she has finished with Ian he’ll be so punch drunk he wont know shite from Wong.
I’ll tell you now what’s going to happen. Penny and Kevin will grudgingly agree to one or two Coalition amendments, Malcolm will claim it as a huge win, his party room will tell him to shove it up where there’s no greenhouse effect, the ETS will be voted out in the senate, Kevin will go ballistic about sceptics and deniers, doomsday and double dissolution, then you’ll all go to Copenhagen and agree a framework for thinking about things till you meet again in six months and Kevin will start jumping up and down again and they’ll all start negotiating in bad faith while Australia triples its coal exports to China and Barnaby Joyce becomes the alternative prime minister.
I hope all that helps.
Someone called Kevin ‘delusional’ and ‘too sensitive for his own good’ last week poor dear. It must be a real comfort for him to know that’s exactly what Sarah Palin thinks about you.
I’ll check on New Zealand in a day or two to see if there’s any sign of life.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: asylum seekers, Barnaby Joyce, China, Christmas Island, Coalition, Copenhagen, ETS, Glenn Stevens, Ian MacFarlane, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, New Zealand, Oceanic Viking, Penny Wong, Reserve Bank, Sarah Palin, Ski Lanka, Wayne Swan
Posted in Obama Fan Club | 2 Comments »
There’s more than one touch of déjà vu in the latest asylum seeker crisis. The captain of the Tampa came from Norway so he was another Oceanic Viking who made a memorable contribution to Australian immigration.
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The US still has the largest economy in the world, but as in the case of Gitmo and healthcare it takes the Obama administration time to effect the changes you can believe in.
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Following the news that polar bears are not an endangered species Al Gore’s truth begins to seem more lenient than inconvenient.
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The US played a significant role in influencing Russia to withdraw from Afghanistan so it is uncommonly considerate of them to be trying to repay the favour.
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The French President appointed his son to run a large government body. The Italian President appointed glamorous women of his acquaintance to cabinet posts. It’s about time Kevin appointed his wife to run the country.
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Sri Lankan asylum seekers have begun to pioneer a direct sailing route to Christmas Island. Kevin’s obviously forgotten to tell them about the Indonesian Solution.
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Australia has an ETS under development while China is building over five hundred coal-fired power stations. It’s encouraging that other countries besides Australia are making a difference on climate change.
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The latest Newspoll data from NSW was a huge shock. It wasn’t so much that Nathan Rees poll numbers had fallen so far but rather that 31% still preferred him as premier. Surely he can’t have that many relations.
Tags: Afghanistan, Al Gore, asylum seekers, Barack Obama, China, Christmas Island, Climate Change, ETS, French, immigration, Indonesia, Indonesian Solution, Italian President, Kevin Rudd, Nathan Rees, Newspoll, NSW Government, President of USA, Russia
Posted in Carbon Emissions | 1 Comment »
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