Posts Tagged ‘Copenhagen’

The NoSpin Doctors - Thursday, May 20th, 2010

For some time Friday Mash has perceived that politicians have a serious communication problem. Political rhetoric is becoming increasingly detached from reality.

Some argue it is unreasonable to expect politicians to tell the truth when it could cost them votes or their job. Others are concerned that politicians could lose all credibility if they become totally disconnected from the bleedin’ obvious.

For example Julia sees the building of an education revolution while the public sees revoltingly overpriced and undersized school buildings.

NoSpin Doctors is yet another political public service from Friday Mash. We have assembled a team with world class expertise in derevolutionising spin and getting to the truth of the matter. Their first assignment is to help you understand what Kevin might have said about the ETS if he wasn’t a prime political spinner.

Here is their NoSpin version.

“Climate change was very effective in helping me win the 07 election and also in identifying me as a world-class statesman and future Secretary General of the United Nations.

I called climate change ‘The greatest moral challenge of our generation’ because that was the best slogan the spin doctors could come up with and it made me sound really committed.

There’s no doubt that Malcolm Turnbull is an all-time bombastic pompous twit but it was great to have him onside in the ETS debate.

I became convinced that the ETS was an absolute no-brainer because it raised tons of taxes, needed a whole new level of bureaucracy and reduced the Coalition to a heap of carbon-emiting ashes.

Everything was proceeding brilliantly until that prime pain in the arse Tony Abbott rolled Malcolm and the ETS went down the tubes together with my chances of being the star of the Copenhagen Conference.

I acknowledge that Penny and I exaggerated the consequences of not passing the ETS legislation through the Parliament before Copenhagen. I’m sure people understood that bushfires, droughts and raging seas would not actually engulf Australia before Christmas but I was apprehensive that if I went to Copenhagen without an ETS no-one would take any notice of me. At least I got that right.

In retrospect I have to admit that Tony was right about not rushing ahead with the ETS before Copenhagen and of course the Coalition was quite right to throw it out in the Senate.

If it had passed Australia would be lumbered with a massive tax on everything and be hopelessly uncompetitive in world markets. I only wish I’d heeded Tony’s advice sooner.

My decision to abandon the ETS and a few other difficult projects has caused my poll numbers to drop. But I do not shrink from the tough decisions needed to axe projects resulting from my stupid decisions in the first place.

Yes it’s true the ETS is a massive tax on everything and Penny and I were less than frank about its true impacts, but I think it’s a bit rich that from Beijing to London and right across Australia I am now being subjected to an outbreak of global cooling.”

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Holy Moses - Thursday, May 6th, 2010

And it came to pass that carbon emissions were polluting the land and the people were really choked up about it.

Kevin the Grand Prophet of the Decarbonators
and his sidekick Prebendary Penny were roaming the land warning of dire consequences like drought, fires and Julie Bishop if they were not anointed the true saviours who could achieve a parting of the black sea of emissions with their miracle ETS and lead the people through it to a carbon-free promised land.

The blessed Malcolm who was King of the Carbonators agreed with them but his sidekick Tomcat Tony did not. He claimed the ETS was a massive tax on everything and who cares about droughts and fires if you lose you job and your electricity account is as deeply in debt as Wayne’s budget.

The Carbonators got increasingly pissed with the Blessed Malcolm because he was in bed with Grand Prophet Kevin and Prebendary Penny although he claimed it was an emissions-free zone.

Nevertheless the Blessed Malcolm parted ways with the Carbonators who made Tomcat Tony their leader and gave the Blessed one a carbon footprint up his backside.

The people became more Carbonator friendly because they didn’t want to be in hock to the electricity companies and they found out that once they reached the carbon-free promised land Prebendary Penny would be appointed the chief carbon tax collector.

Cheered on by Tomcat Tony the Carbonators in the Senate refused to allow Grand Prophet Kevin and Prebendary Penny to impose their miracle ETS on the people despite dire warnings of doom from Chief Profit Al, who believes the ETS is a carbon copy of the Holy Grail.

The Grand Profit Kevin and Prebendary Penny then travelled to a World Convocation of Decarbonators in Copenhagen but were mortified to find that their ETS got the same reception as a salary cap and trade scheme at the Melbourne Storm.

In recent times the Grand Prophet Kevin has had a greenhouse epiphany. He has renounced his miracle ETS and capped and traded the Prebendary Penny. This is the price he has to pay for staying in power although its quite reasonable compared with the price everyone else is paying for power.

The people are quite happy to go on being carbonated. Its such a relief not to have Prebendary Penny rabbiting on about disasters all the time and now they can relax and listen to music by Coal Porter.

The Grand Prophet Kevin has switched his attention to the new Greatest Moral Challenge of our Generation which is finding the way to a debt-free promised land through a parting of the red sea of ink splashed all over Wayne’s budget.

As for the challenge of reaching the carbon-free promised land through a parting of the black sea of emissions the Grand Prophet Kevin has postponed his next attempt until 2013 which will give him time to go back to the bullrushes and start work on a new miracle.


He’s not too discouraged by what has happened. After all parting is such sweet sorrow.

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Kevins Spin Doctors - Friday, April 23rd, 2010

Talking Points for Labour Politicians
Week Commencing 25th April 2010

1. Home Insulation Scheme
Try to take the heat out of this subject by reassurances that Greg Combet is doing a great job cooling things down. But don’t go overboard on Greg because Kevin wants to take most of the credit.

Reinforce the point that the scheme was part of the Governments stimulus package which has kept the country in jobs apart from the home insulation industry.

Peter Garrett continues to enhance his reputation as a first-class minister by banning Chinese coal ships from doing tourist class tours round the Barrier Reef.

The government has now taken a courageous decision to shut the scheme down. The incredible job we’re doing re-insulating the homes we’ve already insulated means we’re running out of stimulus. This development in no way detracts from the brilliant achievements of this ground-breaking initiative. It simply means that all the families who have had their homes insulated wont have to worry any more and those that haven’t wont have to worry in case they do.

2. BER
The Deputy Prime Minister is puzzled by the intense criticism of Building the Education Revolution. She claims that all the school buildings completed so far are just like the Opera House; curvy roofs and built for a song.

The Inquiry team are already hard at work and the rumour that they will receive a five per cent fee on all COLAs is being investigated.

Julia is spending a tremendous amount of time touring schools and is absolutely ecstatic at the success of the programme. She wears a hard hat not because she fears a COLA roof falling on her head but rather because Kevin doesn’t want to be the only one who looks like a goose on television.

3. ETS
Try to avoid talking about the ETS and Penny Wong. She is currently suffering from chronic Copenhagen withdrawal symptoms and is still paying off the hotel bills for the one hundred and fourteen Aussie delegates. That’s why Kevin can’t afford to go overseas at the moment.

4. Tony Abbott Sledge of the Week
He’s fallen off his bike once too often when he wasn’t wearing a helmet.

5. Joe Hockey Sledge of the Week

If he lost weight he might have a slim chance of becoming leader of the opposition.

6. The Hospitals Plan
The agreement to the hospitals plan is historic, a monumental achievement by Kevin, the biggest reform in centuries and the most significant event in the sector since Tony Abbott ripped out one billion dollars.

Above all this is a personal triumph for Kevin, the jewel in the crown of his first term and a huge advantage for working families and other people as well.

Colin Barrett, the premier of WA thought the plan was absolutely brilliant but couldn’t agree to it because he’s the political stooge of Tony Abbott. Kevin is determined to resolve this impasse through constructive negotiation even if it means WA hospitals are forced to operate in carparks.

It is a tribute to Kevin’s supreme negotiating skills that the premiers agreed to accept bucketfuls of money and to run the hospitals themselves because the federal government’s too busy cleaning up the BER and the home insulation scheme. What’s more he persuaded the premiers to hand over thirty percent of their GST revenue so he could place it in a pool where they will be absolutely swimming in it.

There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that John Brumby only agreed to the plan after he was threatened with major surgery to take out his GST and that Kristina’s agreement was secured only after she was threatened with a Tripodi-Obeid plot to replace her with Frank Sartor.

The assertion from Tony Abbott, who by the way ripped one billion dollars out of hospitals when he was health minister, that the plan simply adds another level of bureaucracy is absolutely false. The extra bureaucrats are an addition to the existing layer whose role is to prevent hospital operations becoming too bureaucratic.

And let’s not forget the patients. This plan will guarantee them world’s best practice hospital care. For example a patient who turns up at an emergency department having just had a heart attack and been run over by a bus will only have to wait a maximum of four hours.

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At a Meeting of Kevin’s Spin Doctors - Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Fly on the Wall at Friday Mash

Back from two brilliantly successful assignments in the US Guy the Friday Mash Superfly managed to find space on a wall overlooking an emergency meeting of Kevin’s spin doctors.  Here is his exclusive report.

‘This insulation thing’s an absolute disaster’ said Greg ‘We can’t unload any of the blame onto Malcolm or Tony.  What the hell are we going to do about it?’

‘I think we should re-emphasise Kevin’s commitment to working families’ said Brendan

‘Are you kidding?’ snapped Greg ‘most of them are cowering in their homes frightened their roof is about to catch fire’

‘Perhaps this is the time’ said Sharon ‘to introduce a new idiosyncratic Kevin phrase like ‘systemic programmatic specificities’

‘Perhaps this is the time Shaz for you to get a job with Tony Abbott’ said Greg

‘I’ve got it’ said Brendan ‘we should package Kevin as the Global Statesman’

Illustration: Jim Pavlidis (The Age)

Illustration: Jim Pavlidis (The Age)

‘They’re not going to buy it’ said Greg ‘Copenhagen was an unmitigated Kevin disaster, nobody can understand what he’s talking about in China even when he talks in English and he’s just sent an ambassador to Washington in a wheelchair’

‘Bingo’ said Sharon ‘Kevin 07 plus 3.  The man who saved Australia from a complete insulation disaster by taking the courageous and fearless decision to fire Peter Garrett.

‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he’ll probably have to save Australia from further disasters by courageously and fearlessly firing Nicola Roxon and Stephen Conroy and then maybe the public will start thinking its time to courageously and fearlessly fire Kevin.  Hold that thought on Kevin 07 plus 3 though.  That’s interesting’

‘I’ve had an idea’ said Brendan ‘Obama’s coming here soon.  Perhaps we could persuade him to call Kevin the Wizard of Oz or something’

‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he might get mixed up and call him the Tin Man or the Man of Tin’

‘I know’ said Sharon ‘the Action Man’

‘Oh please’ said Greg ‘That’s just the point.  He hasn’t done anything except hand out money’

‘But’ said Sharon ‘we could portray him as the Super Action Man who takes on and defeats Action Man Abbott’

‘Oh sure’ said Greg ‘I can just see Kevin poleaxing Tony in a boxing ring or wearing budgie smugglers.  On Kevin they’d look more like tadpole smugglers’

‘Ok smarty’ said Sharon ‘what’s your brilliant idea then? If we don’t come up with a new spin strategy soon there’s a danger the public will begin to see Kevin as he really is.

‘My key spin strategy is to get Kevin to accept responsibility for the insulation disaster’ said Greg ‘The public will appreciate the gesture but nobody will seriously believe its his fault.  Then to reinforce that belief he should fire Peter’

‘Brilliant’ said Sharon ‘we can then spin him as the mea culpa prime minister.  The public will suss its Kevin selflessly taking the blame for his incompetent minister’

‘And if it works for insulation’ said Brendan ‘it can work for hospitals, the national broadband network, the ETS …’

‘Yes alright’ said Greg ‘ Let’s get Kevin in to brief him on the mea culpa prime minister spin strategy and Shaz ring Kerry O’Brien to book a date to launch it on The 7.30 Report.

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Batt an eyelid - Friday, February 26th, 2010

Obama Fan Club Letterhead

Newsletter from Australia

White House,
Washington DC.,

26th February 2010

Dear Mr President,

You are just not going to believe this. All four of those people who came to the Sarah Palin Roast and half-price beer night came back for our club meeting this week and are now paid up members. So that takes us to a total of twenty-two and there were actually twenty-three at the meeting because the cleaning lady stayed on.

Great excitement here this week over the government’s insulation scheme. It’s been a big shock to everyone and Peter Garrett’s in deep doodoo over it. Mind you it only goes to prove what I’ve always said. Greenies like Peter are great at stirring the possum but get them to organise something like batts in your belfry and they’re totally out of their environment.

You’re not going to believe this either. Tony Abbott’s given up sex for Lent. Neville said it was Mary MacKillop’s third miracle.

I saw Malcolm Turnbull on the telly last night and I can’t believe I’m saying this but he almost came across as likeable. You can’t help admiring him for supporting Kevin’s ETS although he probably hasn’t got the faintest idea what it’s all about just like the rest of us.

It doesn’t look like Malcolm will get a decent gig in the Coalition while the Mad Monk’s in charge so I hope Kevin finds a decent job for him. I wrote to him suggesting he should organise a new political party called the Don’t Knows. They’re already ahead of the Greens in the polls.

I had prepared to discuss some really profound international issues at the World Affairs Think Tank this week but all they wanted to talk about was the ETS and climate change. So I hastily changed the subject to ‘Climate Change, the ETS and ERF; are they all a con job?’

Cyril said he’d watched the weather forecast on Channel Nine News every day for over twenty years and there was no sign of the climate changing.

Marge said she hadn’t got a clue what the ETS is about. She couldn’t believe that the government wanted to charge everyone for smoke. She claimed her Alf blew smoke out of his backside at least twice a day and the ETS would make him unaffordable.

Our Mavis’ Bert said he had really tried hard to understand Tony Abbott’s ERF. He believed it was basically about persuading people to stay home in the dark, because electricity would be too expensive, and spend more time having sex as long as it wasn’t during Lent, with a catholic priest or with one of his daughters.

Mildred as usual was right on the money. She claimed that Copenhagen was a disaster because there’s no one size fit all climate change solution. Every country should decide what climate it wants and design an ETS or an ERF to make it happen. We should leave all the world stuff to Al Gore and also Kevin because obviously Australia doesn’t emit enough carbon to keep him fully interested.

I summed it all up by saying whatever our views we should all take part in Clean-up Australia this year. I couldn’t see what it’s got to do with climate change but I was sure there is a connection somewhere. What’s more this year there will be loads of waste batts to clean up.

Till next week,

Gaelene Woo
President

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Abbott saving his virginity, trillions in debt, Swan attacks Joyce - Thursday, February 11th, 2010

carbon_emissions_masthead

Wonderful, Wonderful Copenhagen
Kevin took 114 delegates to the Copenhagen Conference. Friday Mash can now confirm there were no fatalities on this mission and all have returned safely. Some delegates however reportedly suffered hypothermia, a couple had mental breakdowns trying to make sense of it all and one was rescued from a snowdrift by a great dane.

The Greatest Moral Challenge of our Time
Tony Abbott is keen that his Emissions Reduction Fund should retain its virginity as long as possible and is determined to stop Kevin stuffing it.

Thanks a Trillion
A White House spokesman has confirmed that Obama wont be bringing the US debt to Australia. China owns such a large part of of it they insist he leaves it there for safe keeping while he’s overseas.

Unseasonal Greetings
Despite rumours that he is planning to seek asylum in Australia immigration authorities will not insist Obama travels here from Indonesia via Christmas Island. On the other hand there is still a widespread view that his first coming in Australia should be at Christmas.

A Case of Whether
The good news for Australia on climate change is that NZ now has an ETS up and running. Obviously the sensible thing for Kevin to do is check whether it has any effect on global warming before trying to launch one here.

Tally Ban
Following an extensive research study the Taliban will not be fielding any candidates in the NSW State Election in 2011. Surprisingly the study showed they were even less popular than the current Labor Government.

Floored
Consistent with Kevin’s beneficence in providing jobs for opposition members it is expected that after Malcolm crosses the floor to vote for the ETS he will be offered the job of cleaning it.

Rejoyce
It is difficult to understand why Wayne Swan and Lindsay Tanner are so critical of Barnaby Joyce. He’s helping the Labor Government immeasurably more than they are.

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Climate of Confusion - Thursday, February 11th, 2010

Tony Jones’ interview with Penny Wong on the 4th February edition of Lateline was an absolute classic.

For the transcript, click here

Watch Penny Wong Interviewed on ABC's Lateline

Watch Penny Wong Interviewed on ABC's Lateline

For those of us craving a clear, concise and logical explanation of what on earth the ETS is all about the occasion was richly entertaining but not alas enlightening.

Despite being asked repeatedly about the ETS’ cost impact on families – working, non-working and bone idle – not a single figure passed Penny’s lips. She claimed that extensive modelling was released in 2008. That was apparently too long ago for her to remember the numbers it contained but for those who are still interested there is always the chance of coming across it in a library or a loo.

Tony’s questions about the ETS cost hikes to families in the event of an emissions reduction target higher than five percent were met buy a dogged refusal even to countenance such an abstruse notion.

The kindest possible assessment of Penny’s interview is that it added diddly squat to viewers’ storehouse of ETS knowledge and may even have eroded it slightly. But wait. On the subject of Tony Abbott’s Emissions Reduction Fund Penny demonstrated encyclopaedic knowledge. She came armed with sheafs of documents claimed to contain irrefutable evidence that Tony’s ERF was a non-starter and would cost squillions more than the ETS whatever that costs.

This was like a football coach explaining that his team’s tactics were based on a 2008 plan which he couldn’t remember but that doesn’t matter because the opposition are so hopeless.

Kevin has admitted that his government must improve their communications about the ETS. The question is did he forget to tell Penny, did she ignore him or was this, heaven help us, what she considered to be an improved communication.

Probably as a result of urgings by the spin doctors to soften her image Penny has developed a sudden synthetic smile for television interviews. When Tony asked questions she considered tiresome, embarrassing or downright dangerous she flashed on the smile to mask a face almost certainly contorted with rage and betraying an irresistible urge to choke the living shit out of him. Luckily he was in a studio hundreds of kilometres away.

The interview raised the issue of who can we possibly believe on matters of climate change.

Polar bears are the living proof we can’t trust Al Gore. Penny is about as helpful as a call centre operator in Bangalore and Kevin’s still got a Copenhagen complex. Climate change scientists have slipped up on the Himalayan glaciers and following his recent conversion it is too soon to expect anything sensible from Tony Abbott.

No wonder Lord Monckton is commanding so much attention. His is the only clear message on climate change; lie back for ten years, let it happen and then take stock. Even if he isn’t right its refreshing to hear a convenient truth amongst the deluge of inconvenient, incomprehensible and disingenuous approximations.

With all due respect to Kevin, climate change is not the greatest moral challenge of our generation. It is rather persuading politicians, scientists and opinion leaders to come clean about it.

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Virgins, Ball Control, Blockbuster, Sheer Terror, Lord Blair of Baghdad, Penny Hasn’t Dropped, Men of Action - Friday, February 5th, 2010

carbon_emissions_masthead

Virgin on the Political
George Brandis claimed that Julia Gillard is not qualified to pronounce on parenting because she doesn’t have children.  He was however quite happy for her to discuss virginity with the hopelessly unqualified Tony Abbott.

Ball Control
There seems to be a concerted move in the UK to prevent John Terry’s sexual indiscretions being placed in the same league as Tiger’s.  It is claimed he merely put the finishing touches to a movement down his right flank.

Blockbuster
Serena Williams victory in the Australian Open seemed to be the antithesis of the outcome in Avatar.

Sheer Terror
Obama is searching for the ideal environment for the trial of the 9/11 masterminds now that the Big Apple plan has been juiced.  Support is growing for setting up a video link between the courtroom and the defendants traveling on a pilotless plane on course to crash into Al Qaeda central.

Lord Blair of Baghdad
The Iraq Inquiry in the UK seems increasingly like a deliberate attempt to undermine George W Bush’s place in history and pin all the blame for the war on Tony Blair.  And it’s an absolute scandal that so far there’s been no mention of John Howard.

The Penny Hasn’t Dropped
Kevin and Penny Wong are having a third go at getting the Lazarus ETS legislation passed by parliament.

They must either know something the rest of us don’t or don’t know something the rest of us do.

The evidence available to mere mortals indicates that the EU’s ETS is useless, Europe won’t set emissions reductions targets before the US who won’t set them before China who won’t set them.  The scientific evidence underpinning an ETS looks increasingly discredited and the only delegates in Copenhagen who looked remotely interested in taking urgent action on climate change were Kevin, Penny and those from small developing countries excited by the prospect of a big cash handout.

Perhaps its just that Kevin and Penny have seen An Inconvenient Truth too many times or they haven’t yet seen the latest Newspoll.

Men of Action
Kevin and Obama are both heavily criticised for being all talk and no action.  Perhaps action has become an unacceptable political risk undertaken only by carpetbaggers like George W Bush and Tony Abbott.

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Whaling, Al Qaeda, airport security, more committees, Brown out of No.10, Hot air - Friday, January 15th, 2010

carbon_emissions_masthead

Whales have started to protest over the Japanese treatment of the Ady Gill crew. So far this season the Japanese have scored more crew members than whales.
……………………………………………

There are reports that international airlines were studying a number of suggestions that there should be fireworks displays on planes at midnight on New Year’s Eve. There have been discontinued following the discovery that they all came from Al Qaeda.
……………………………………………

According to leaked emails climate scientists are now convinced that the arctic weather right across the Northern Hemisphere is caused by carbon emissions. Apparently they form a greenhouse effect which traps cold air close to the earth’s surface.
……………………………………………

Security personnel doing pre-flight passenger checks at airports confirm that while nudists make their job a whole lot easier even in those cases there is no absolute guarantee of a safe passage.
……………………………………………

NSW Labor MPs are all getting more pay for going on parliamentary committees. This is taxpayer funds well spent. It’s when they’re let loose on their own that they become dangerous.
……………………………………………

There’s been a coup in the UK Labor Party to try to get Gordon Brown thrown out of No.10 before the next election. Fortunately this selfish initiative did not succeed. It would have deprived voters the ultimate democratic satisfaction of throwing him out themselves.
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January in Australia demonstrates once again that considerably less disasters happen when politicians are away on overseas study tours. They’re also such a worthwhile way to spend taxpayer funds.
……………………………………………

What’s more the one and a half million dollars it cost to send the Australian climate change delegation to the Copenhagen Conference was money well spent. It allowed us a blessed respite to consider rationally whether the ETS is a bigger threat than global warming.
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Kevin: Our model leader - Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Obama Fan Club Letterhead

Newsletter from Australia

White House,
Washington DC.,

8th January 2010

Dear Mr President,

I hope you and the family had a beaut time in Hawaii and are enjoying a preposterous New Year.

Neville and I went to watch the fireworks at Sydney Harbour on New Year’s Eve and I’m very pleased to report that crowd behaviour was much improved on last year and Neville wasn’t even moved along by the police let alone arrested.

Things in Australia have been pretty quiet since Copenhagen went up in smoke. Kevin’s hardly said a word and poor old Penny Wong’s been wheeled out to do the disaster relief. What a pity you couldn’t get to the Copenhagen shindig earlier to give Kevin a bit more wind power.

Now as you know I’m not a racist and we even have an Obama Fan Club member whose mother came from Vietnam, but I must say I was very proud of what Kevin said about immigrants the other day. You can read it below and I recommend you include it in your State of the Union address but don’t forget to substitute the US where it says Australia.

It was Peter Garrett’s turn this week to call Tony Abbott a sceptic, a disgrace and a neanderthal and I can quite understand that. But I do wish the Labor Party would stop ranting on about the ETS being the only way to save us from hell and damnation. They sound like our local vicar. If the ETS gets rejected a third time perhaps Kevin will take Holy Orders and try the power of prayer. I think he’d look lovely in a dog collar.

The Obama Fan Club has made an exciting New Year’s Resolution. We have decided that each week the Club will analyse a truly vital issue in world affairs and send you our conclusions in the weekly newsletter. I knew you’d be rapt because it’s going to be such a powerhouse of great ideas both for you and Hillary.

The issue we dug our teeth into this week was ‘Should Aussies go to Fiji for a holiday while Frank Brontemarina’s undemocratic mob are still in power?’

I was gobsmacked by the sheer intellectual impact we generated. The evening was sponsored by Fred’s Fiji Fantasy Fly-Aways who gave us free fried rice for two at the Nadi Chinese as a raffle prize.

Mildred opened the session by saying we should take no notice of Frank and just book our holidays as usual because if we don’t Treasure Island will go bust with or without him.

Marge thought we should go to Bali instead because she’d heard the terrorists there were democratically elected.

Hilda thought we should still go to Fiji but protest by painting anti-Frank slogans on our bodies and demonstrating naked on a beach. Neville thought that was a bigger threat to Fiji’s tourism than Frank.

I summed up the meeting expertly be saying that Aussies should only go to Fiji if we pay rock bottom packaged holiday prices in August and only drink Aussie beer instead of Fiji Bitter. That way we minimise the ready that Frank can get his hands on.

Brilliant don’t you think and if Al Gore’s right about sea levels Frank will soon have trouble keeping his head above water.

Don’t forget to pass this on to Hillary.

Till next week,

Gaelene Woo
President

Whole world Needs A Leader Like This!

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd – Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Rudd angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation’s mosques. Quote:

IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians. ‘

‘This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom’

‘We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society. Learn the language!’

‘Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.’

‘We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.’

‘This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, ‘THE RIGHT TO LEAVE‘.’

‘If you aren’t happy here then LEAVE. We didn’t force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.’

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