
3rd September 2010
PM’s Office
Canberra
Dear Julia,
This waiting is so nerve-wracking, not knowing whether we are going to live under your inspirational leadership or return to dark days under that Liberal larrikin Abbott.
At our meeting this week the Gillard Girls faction decided we had to stay strong and give you unflinching support. This is not the time to abandon the principles which have made our party great. Over the years the NSW Right have shown the way through great men like Bob Carr, Laurie Brereton, Mark Arbib, Joe Tripodi and Karl Bitar who were prepared to take stabs in the dark.
We confidently expect that you will power into coalition government soon, perhaps even before you receive this letter, but we thought you would appreciate our advice on how to get the independents onside.
The new Greens member Adam Brandt is obviously a pushover. All you’ve got to do is promise him an ETS sometime or other and a trip to the Antarctic to watch the glaciers melting. And you two will get on famously because he used to be a young communist as well.
That independent from Tasmania, Andrew Wilkie, wants to ban pokies. Where’s he coming from? Pokies are the only thing which keeps our club open and Neville wouldn’t know what to do on a Saturday night if they weren‘t around to give him loads of laughs losing his shirt.
The Girls came up with a great idea to coax Andrew into a Coalition. Promise that you’ll reduce pokie gambling by legislating they should be renamed with their correct title, tax collection centres.
Tony Crook, the WA Nationals new member, is a worry. You’ll only get him into a coalition if he hates the Nationals Party more than the mining tax. But to give the chap his due he’s already done the Labor Party a great service by dumping Wilson Tuckey out of parliament.
I may be wrong but Tony Windsor seems like quite a decent sort of a chap. He’s looking to be in a stable coalition government with sound economic management. Whatever you do keep him away from Mark Arbib, Karl Bitar and Wayne.
Rob Oakeshott looks like a closet leftie to me. The Girls believe you could get his support by promising to hold the next Labor Party Conference in Port Macquarie. All the union heavies would spend a fortune getting legless, you can promise a few bob for a local COLA or something and Rob would become the local hero. I daresay Neville and I would attend as part of the NSW Government Right faction if they haven’t all been voted out by then.
It’s obvious that Bob Katter is twice as nutty as Barnaby Joyce and shouldn’t be allowed outside North Queensland without a psychiatrist and a straitjacket. Your only chance of tempting him into your coalition is to get him talking to someone from the Labor movement who is just as mad as he is. I’m sure Mark Latham wouldn’t mind helping out.
Whatever you do Julia, stick to your principles. And remember if the independents really stuff up in your coalition government you can’t get Mark or Bill to stab them because you’d lose your majority.
Still just about moving forward.
Gaelene Woo,
Branch President








