Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
2nd October 2009
Dear Mr President,
I was thrilled to read that you and Kevin were the stars of the G20 Summit. The media was so full of the two of you that Mildred thought the other eighteen hadn’t turned up.
Neville was absolutely ropeable that there were no pin-ups of Sorenosey’s wife Carla but Pittsburgh looked so lovely in autumn.
I’m sure these G20 meetings do Kevin a power of good. He looked so relaxed and wholesome that you’d think the ‘f’ word had never passed his lips. And I know I shouldn’t say this and no-one’s a bigger supporter of Kevin that I am but Australia does seem to run much better when he’s overseas.
He leaves Julia in charge; such a wonderful woman and she’s much more decisive than Kevin. He tends to stuff things up by sticking his nose into everything. Perhaps you could find him an office in the White House or the UN and he could run the country from there.
You’re not going to believe this but whatsisname the NZ prime minister was moaning the other day about not getting a guernsey at any of the G something meetings. Well I should hope not. If you extended the G20 to G200 they might just qualify.
At our last Club meeting we had an international affairs study group. You would have been proud of us. Anyway we were discussing how to handle China and give Iran a huge kick up the backside and I came up with an absolutely brilliant idea which was approved unanimously.
I will send an official invitation to President Who in Beijing to become the Patron of the Obama Fan Club. Then three days later I’ll email him to say sorry but Admedinnerdad had bust in and insisted on being the patron himself.
President Who will be absolutely furious at the loss of face and will be only too pleased to do anything you want to screw Admedinnerdad. I knew you’d like it.
In the study group’s opinion Admedinnerdad should be expelled from the UN for not wearing a tie and should star with Colonel Gadfly in ‘Two flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest’.
I’ll send you a copy of the study group minutes so you can brief Hillary. I’m sure she’ll be really excited.
If I hear Kevin or Wayne say once more ‘we’re not out of the woods yet’ I’ll scream. If they’re in the woods much longer people will think they’ve joined the Greens, they’re starring with Russell Crowe in the new Robin Hood movie or they’re opening a pulp mill.
Till next week.
Gaelene Woo
President
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