Yap No. 8
‘Tell me Bo’ said Big O as we were preparing to set off on another family holiday at Martha’s Vineyard ‘what do you think the key Democratic Party strategy should be for the mid-term elections?’
I’d been dreading him asking me that question because I was at a complete loss. Despite several sessions of brain overdrive and dogged persistence absolutely nothing had rung a bell.
‘Interesting question Big O’ I said ‘I’ve been thinking along several strategic directions but have yet to determine which of your achievements will best further the Democratic cause’
‘I’m thinking stimulus’ said Big O
‘I’ve given that a lot of thought’ I said ‘but I don’t think it’s an election winner’
‘Why not?’ challenged Big O ‘I’ve saved millions of jobs’
‘But the trouble is’ I said ‘nobody knows for sure whether you’ve saved their job or not so nobody’s grateful and sure as hell the people whose jobs you haven’t saved don’t feel at all stimulated’
‘What about my cap and trade policy?’ asked Big O
‘Not a runner either’ I said ‘The folks aren’t going to get excited about spending big bucks on a cooler lifestyle which will happen after most of them have passed their use-by date. That’s like raising money to celebrate the Chicago Cubs’ next World Series win’
‘Ok’ said Big O ‘but what about healthcare, the landmark achievement of my presidency?’
‘Forget it’ I said
‘What!’ exclaimed Big O
‘The fact is’ I said ‘that the only short-term impact of your healthcare plan is higher medical insurance fees. The majority of folks hate it. They want someone to care of their financial health’
I’ve got it’ said Big O ‘what about the leadership I showed over the mosque situation near ground zero?’
‘I’m a bit confused about that’ I said ‘I know you made an admirable statement about upholding religious freedom but as far as the site near ground zero was concerned it may have been prudent to exclude developments such as a Taliban Tabernacle and an Osama bin Laden memorial jardin’
‘Wall St?’ asked Big O
‘Going in the wrong direction’ I said
‘Surely’ said Big O ‘people recognise what a great job I’m doing in Arizona and along the southern border’
‘Sorry Big O’ I said ‘that’s not what the polls say. The main group is Arizona who are being subjected to hostile profiling are African-Americans who look like you’
‘Give me a break’ said Big O ‘what about the decisive actions I took on the BP oil leak and the Israeli-Palestinian situation?’
‘I don’t know which is the bigger leak’ I said ‘oil in the Gulf of Mexico or new houses in West Bank settlements’
‘Ok Bo’ said Big O ‘what’s your suggested strategy for the Democratic Party in the mid-term election?’
‘Simple’ I said ‘blame everything on George W. Bush and the Republican party’
‘Of course’ said Big O ‘that’s brilliant. I could be the president who defines George W’s place in history because sure as hell he didn’t do it for himself ’
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