Posts Tagged ‘John Howard’
The Buck at the moment is very confused. It has been hovering around Canberra for some time ready to stop at the person responsible for the insulation debacle. But each time the stop sign is about to appear it keeps getting passed on to someone else.
You can’t blame the Buck for being a bit miffed. The home insulation scheme is the stuff-up of the century but there’s no government co-operation in identifying the person it should stop at to perform its solemn public duty of apportioning the blame.
Kevin’s office is a designated Buck no-stopping zone and anyway it is inconceivable that the Buck should stop with him when all he did was go through the roof at all those experts who told him that the insulation scheme was a lemon. He had determined that nothing was going to stop it electrifying the nation.
Wayne has taken some credit for the stimulus package but there’s no chance the insulation stimulus Buck will stop with him. He is far too expert at passing it. He’s still lauded for his brilliant pass to Godwin Grech during the Utegate scandal.
Peter Garrett is the most obvious place for the Buck to stop. All it would take is his resignation or a tap on the shoulder from Kevin. In fact the Buck has already been as far as his office door before it was passed to the shonky installers.
The Buck however decided it was illogical to stop with a few installers when the scheme was a complete national disaster and they were only picking up the bucks eagerly passed on by the government.
Peter Garrett was warned twenty-odd times the scheme had hair-raising implications but for some reason he failed to feel anything.
Peter’s department apparently hadn’t got the faintest idea about administering a scheme of such complexity. It never occurred to them that battmen could also be robbin’.
Some experts blame John Howard for the scheme’s failure and believe the Buck should stop with him. However the Buck has its pride and having failed to stop with him so many times before it is reluctant to face further humiliation.
It’s true the Buck has also taken more than a passing interest in stopping with Stephen Conroy. Its interest has been attracted by the national broadband network, Telstra, handouts to television stations and jobs for the boys. The Buck recognises a trainwreck when it sees one and calculates how it can meet the driver at a mutually convenient stop.
Unfortunately the Buck can’t stop of its own volition or at the behest of Tony Abbott. Only an admission, a resignation or a firing constitutes a valid stop sign. Buck passing in Canberra has become such a consummate skill that the Wallabies coaching staff are taking an interest.
So while Credit is regularly taken by Kevin & Co for the stimulus package, the insulation stimulus Buck is still being passed around. But the Buck knows political insulation has a strict use-by date so as it passes from person to person it is reassured in the knowledge it will eventually stop with somebody.
Tags: Godwin Grech, home insulation scheme, Insulation, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, KRudd, national broadband network, Peter Garrett, Stephen Conroy, stimulus, Telstra, Tony Abbott, Utegate, Wallabies, Wayne Swan
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Putt and Take
Tiger Woods is reportedly making a comeback later this year. No word yet on which nightclub it will be at.
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Life’s a Beach
Environmentalists are concerned that the rising tide of ETS dissent could erode Penny Wong and wash her away.
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Doomsday Scenario
The International Atomic Energy Agency has expressed concern that Peter Garrett might one day become the Australian minister responsible for the development of nuclear power stations.
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The Love of Sport
If sex becomes an Olympic sport will Tiger Woods switch codes?
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Getting Better
Obama has taken steps to involve Republicans in developing his healthcare plan. The aborigines could teach him more about bush medicine than George.
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Poor Batting
The Government’s insulation debacle has had a marked effect on house design. Nobody wants a garret in their roof anymore.
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Dear John
Now it turns out that just like Andrew Peacock and Peter Costello, Malcolm Fraser can’t stand John Howard either. But on the other hand there’s George W. Bush and Tony Abbott who think John is great while no one’s even bothered to ask Mark Latham yet and he’s normally very liberal with his opinions.
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Insulated from Terrorism
There was intense debate in federal parliament this week about whether the home insulation scheme was a bigger threat to the community than home-grown terrorism. It’s a close run thing but Friday Mash sincerely believes the Federal Government is less of a threat than Al Qaeda.
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Tags: Al Qaeda, Andrew Peacock, Barack Obama, ETS, George W Bush, Insulation, John Howard, Mark Latham, Obama Healthcare, Penny Wong, Peter Costello, Peter Garrett, Republicans, Terrorism, Tiger Woods, Tony Abbott, US President
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Virgin on the Political
George Brandis claimed that Julia Gillard is not qualified to pronounce on parenting because she doesn’t have children. He was however quite happy for her to discuss virginity with the hopelessly unqualified Tony Abbott.
Ball Control
There seems to be a concerted move in the UK to prevent John Terry’s sexual indiscretions being placed in the same league as Tiger’s. It is claimed he merely put the finishing touches to a movement down his right flank.
Blockbuster
Serena Williams victory in the Australian Open seemed to be the antithesis of the outcome in Avatar.
Sheer Terror
Obama is searching for the ideal environment for the trial of the 9/11 masterminds now that the Big Apple plan has been juiced. Support is growing for setting up a video link between the courtroom and the defendants traveling on a pilotless plane on course to crash into Al Qaeda central.
Lord Blair of Baghdad
The Iraq Inquiry in the UK seems increasingly like a deliberate attempt to undermine George W Bush’s place in history and pin all the blame for the war on Tony Blair. And it’s an absolute scandal that so far there’s been no mention of John Howard.
The Penny Hasn’t Dropped
Kevin and Penny Wong are having a third go at getting the Lazarus ETS legislation passed by parliament.
They must either know something the rest of us don’t or don’t know something the rest of us do.
The evidence available to mere mortals indicates that the EU’s ETS is useless, Europe won’t set emissions reductions targets before the US who won’t set them before China who won’t set them. The scientific evidence underpinning an ETS looks increasingly discredited and the only delegates in Copenhagen who looked remotely interested in taking urgent action on climate change were Kevin, Penny and those from small developing countries excited by the prospect of a big cash handout.
Perhaps its just that Kevin and Penny have seen An Inconvenient Truth too many times or they haven’t yet seen the latest Newspoll.
Men of Action
Kevin and Obama are both heavily criticised for being all talk and no action. Perhaps action has become an unacceptable political risk undertaken only by carpetbaggers like George W Bush and Tony Abbott.
Tags: 9/11, Al Qaeda, Avatar, Barack Obama, Big Apple, Copenhagen, Copenhagen Conference, ETS, George Brandis, George Bush, George W Bush, John Howard, John Terry, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Penny Wong, Serena Williams, The Iraq Inquiry, Tiger Woods, Tony Abbott, Tony Blair
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Last week Guy the Friday Mash Superfly winged his way to the UK and managed to land high on a wall in Gordon Brown’s office at No. 10 to send us this exclusive report about a vital strategy meeting.
Gordon Brown was in conference with Harriet Harman and Lord Mandelson.
‘Peter do you think there will be anymore coup attempts against me before the next election?’ asked Gordon
‘Probably not’ said Peter ‘after everyone chickened out of the last one. And the Iraq Inquiry will totally stuff any chance of Tony making a comeback’
‘What about Alisdair Darling?’ asked Gordon
‘And what about me my little precious’ said Harriet ‘By the way have you taken your constipation tablets?’
‘No but I’ve already got plenty of runs on the board’ said Gordon ‘I’m thinking of becoming green for the next election’
‘I don’t think a name change will be enough’ said Peter.
‘I’m also thinking of taking drastic steps on the economy before the next election’ said Gordon ‘I’ve already driven it to the seventh largest in the world from the fifth. If I could get it to the tenth largest I could make a dramatic election promise to improve it to ninth or even eighth’
‘Inspired thinking Gordon’ said Harriet ‘but how on earth am I going to retain my seat?’
‘You’ll have to start going to the gym regularly’ said Gordon. ‘But what am I going to tell the Iraqi Inquiry?’
Tell them the truth’ said Peter ‘Saddam Hussein couldn’t remember where he had hidden the WMDs’
‘But won’t that let Tony off the hook?’ asked Gordon
‘No’ said Peter ‘because Saddam had also forgotten that he hadn’t got any’
‘But if Saddam was convinced he had WMDs’ said Gordon ‘can’t Tony claim he was misled?’
‘No’ said Peter ‘because I’ve leaked it to the Inquiry that while Saddam had forgotten that he hadn’t got any WMDs he suddenly remembered where they were and Tony found out that he had remembered but had forgotten that he had forgotten that he didn’t have any’
‘Brilliant’ said Gordon ‘so I can tell the Iraq Inquiry that I remembered that Tony remembered that Saddam remembered where the WMDs were’
‘Do you think we should call in Kevin Rudd to advise us on economic policies for the election?’ asked Harriet
‘Heavens no’ said Gordon ‘I couldn’t stand any more of that boring Aussie nerd crapping on about how he fluked his way round a recession. But this Iraq thing could still be a problem’
‘No way’ said Peter ‘just blame it all on George W Bush and John Howard. You can claim they formed a right wing conspiracy to undermine Tony and his Labor Government but you came in and saved us all’
‘Sheer genius’ said Gordon ‘perhaps I won’t need that post election job with the Scottish Porridge Promotion Board after all’
Tags: Alisdair Darling, Fly on the Wall, George Bush, George W Bush, Gordon Brown, Harriet Harman, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Labor Government, Lord Mandelson, Saddam Hussein, The Iraq Inquiry, Tony Blair, WMD
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Story No. 14
‘Barney, why do you think so many people don’t like me’ asked George
I instantly recognised that a complete response to that question would take at least a couple of hours. So I decided to be kind and considerate because after all I like George and more to the point he pays my licence fee.
‘Well George, let’s put it this way’ I said ‘half the people in the world don’t like you because you’re way over to the right, another 10% don’t like you because you appointed Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld, 10% more don’t like you because you’ve started two wars, yet another 10% don’t like you because they’re women who are pro-choice, there’s at least 10% don’t like you because they think you did the dirty on Al over the election results, 5% think you’re a brainless rich kid who only became president through family connections and there’s 4.5% who live in the Middle East’
‘That only leaves .5%’ said George
‘You can’t expect people to like you if you’re a politician’ I said ‘if it was popularity you were after you should have become a pop star or a great lover’
‘I’m pretty popular in Texas’ said George
‘That’s because when you were the Governor’ I said ‘you were responsible for executing more bad guys than Wyatt Earp’
‘Wait a minute’ said George ‘I’m quite popular in Europe’
‘Well the French think you’re as pig-headed as the Brits’ I said ‘the Brits think you’re a sabre-rattling loony like the French and the Germans can’t understand how anyone could possibly start a war’
‘Tony Blair likes me’ said George
‘That’s why nobody likes Tony Blair’ I said
‘Well what about John Howard’ said George ‘he really likes me’
‘I know’ I said ‘and so did that other Aussie Steve Irwin. He had great respect for crocodiles and other primitive life forms’
‘And they even have a bush culture in Australia’ said George
‘Yes I know’ I said ‘but the only connection with you is that it covers a lot of wide open spaces’
‘I get on very well with Putin’ said George
‘Yes’ I said ‘but it was unfortunate you took his advice on how to fight a war in Afghanistan’
‘So Barney’ said George ‘how would you advise me to improve my image?’
‘That’s easy’ I said ‘form a coalition government with the Democrats, fire Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld, stop both the wars, carry out a couple of abortions, make Al Gore your Secretary for the Environment and take out Palestinian citizenship. I’m afraid we’re stuck with the fact that you’re a brainless rich kid with family connections’
‘Or’ said George ‘I could become a President beloved the world over for his humanity, integrity and unswerving commitment to raise the human dignity of mankind’
‘Sorry George’ I said ‘Mother Theresa’s already done that gig’
Tags: Afghanistan, Al Gore, Bush & Barney, Bush and Barney, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfield, George Bush, George W Bush, John Howard, Mother Theresa, Putin, Steve Irwin, Tony Blair
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Letter to Father Christmas
Dear Santa,
‘Tis the season when people of goodwill at Friday Mash think not of themselves but only of others.
We would really appreciate the delivery of our Christmas gift list set out below in your usual timely festive fashion.
Kevin Rudd - a pair of budgie smugglers to prove he’s got nothing to hide.
Malcolm Turnbull - a CD of Kevin singing ‘Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen’
Tony Abbott - a DNA test to prove he’s not the lovechild of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop
Barack Obama - the Nobel Olympic Prize for failing to bring the Games to Chicago
Penny Wong - a climate change; a long stay in Siberia perhaps
Sarah Palin - melting moments at the North Pole with Al Gore
Hillary Clinton - an ‘I should have been President’ bumper sticker
Kristina Keneally - the magic formula which turned Pinocchio from a puppet into a person
Peter Garrett - a part in Coneheads II
Bill Clinton - Tiger’s mobile with all the phone numbers
General McChrystal - a McBall so he can forsee what’s about to happen in Afghanistan
Joe Hockey - a Father Christmas outfit because he’s your natural successor
Julia Gillard - a life size Tony Abbott doll so she no longer has to flirt with him in person
Wayne Swan - a Navman so he can find his way out of the woods
George W Bush - WMDs found in Iraq
Gordon Brown - something to wear under his kilt because he’s been left dangling recently
Berlusconi - bandaids
John Howard - a dancing frog wearing a Bob Hawke face mask. On second thoughts the mask wont be necessary
Barry O’Farrell - a gift similar to that bestowed on so many hostesses and cocktail waitresses; a bit of Tiger in him
The People of NSW - an early election
The delivery of these gifts will make many people very happy. Making people happy is one of your gifts which politicians seem incapable of accepting.
Merry Christmas
From Friday Mash
Tags: Afghanistan, Al Gore, Barack Obama, Barry O’Farrell, Bill Clinton, Bronwyn Bishop, budgie smugglers, Christmas, Copenhagen, early election, Father Christmas, General McChrystal, George W Bush, Gordon Brown, Hillary Clinton, Joe Hockey, John Howard, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, Malcolm Turnbull, Penny Wong, Peter Garrett, Sarah Palin, Silvio Berlusconi, Tiger Woods, Tony Abbott, Wayne Swan, WMD
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Ever since Scrooge became leader of the Aussie Liberal Party he’s wanted an ETS and the end of traditional Carbon Christmases.
Scrooge hates Carbon Christmases. He’s got all the cash he needs hoarded away so he switched his miserly attention to depriving Australians of their traditional Christmas joys.
Despite the pitiful pleading from Carbon Christmas traditionalists he pressed on with his support for carbon-tax-collector-in-chief Kevin. He told everyone who disagreed with him to go and stick holly up their bum.
One night as he lay sleeping he was haunted by a terrible apparition. ‘Hello Scrooge, remember me?’ said the apparition ‘I’m Brendan Nelson standing in for Silas Marley who’s busy ghost-writing John Howard’s memoirs. I’m here to tell you that Tony Abbott, Andrew Robb and Nick Minchin are really pissed with you for supporting Kevin’s ETS’
‘Bah humbug’ said Scrooge ‘they don’t scare me. They’re about as useful on climate change policy as the Three Stooges’
‘Mark my words’ said Brendan ‘if you don’t change your carbon-free Christmas policy, these things will come back to haunt you’
‘Bah humbug’ said Scrooge
Sure enough the very next night the spectre of Tony Abbott manifested itself before him. ‘I am the Ghost of Carbon Christmases Past’ said Tony. ‘No you’re not’ said Scrooge ‘you’re the mad monk. And anyway I never swallow spirits after midnight’
Then Tony took him to a magical place where he could see the Abbott family enjoying a colourful Carbon Christmas of yesteryear. Young Tony was roasting chestnuts on an open coal fire. This was obviously a Tasmanian Christmas.
‘Bah humbug’ said Scrooge ‘that’s just the sort of festive footprint we’ve got to stamp out’
Who should front the next night but the ghostly Andrew Robb.
‘I am the Ghost of Carbon Christmases Present’ announced Andrew
‘Give me a break’ said Scrooge ‘I know you’ve got a haunted look but you wont spook me.’ Then Andrew led him to another magical place where he could observe the UN Climate Change Conference. Delegate after delegate was calling for an ETS and the end of Carbon Christmases; no electricity, no BBQs on the beach, no flaming Christmas Pud and no cutting down carbon-collecting Christmas trees.
‘Wonderful’ exclaimed Scrooge who was supposed to be shocked by all this. ‘I’m dreaming of a carbon-free Christmas’ he warbled
The very next night it was the turn of the menacing Nick Minchin. ‘Don’t tell me’ said Scrooge ‘you are the Ghost of Carbon Christmases Future’. Then Nick took him to yet another magical place where he could see a future carbon-free Christmas in Sydney with no Christmas lights, no Christmas trees, no music, no merriment and no presents. Everyone was being careful not to tread a path back to a traditional Christmas in case they left a carbon footprint.
‘Hooray’ said Scrooge with absolutely no remorse whatsoever. ‘That’s my kind of Christmas.
The following night Tony, Andrew and Nick all appeared together. Scrooge was not impressed. ‘This is not in the script’ he said ‘if I resist the first three visits I should win’
You’re stuffed Scrooge’ said Tony ‘there’s a spill on Tuesday to throw you out. I shall become the new leader and Australians will not be denied a Carbon Christmas’
‘Bah humbug’ said Scrooge
‘A Merry Christmas to us each and every one’ said Tiny Tim
Tags: Andrew Robb, Brendan Nelson, Carbon Christmases, ETS, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal Party, Nick Minchin, Silas Marley, Three Stooges, Tony Abbott
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The first asylum seekers to reach Australia were Pommie convicts. Unfortunately the government at the time was ill-prepared to process them properly having no immigration service, no detention centres and no questionnaires about Bradman’s batting average.
As a result of this initial humane but untough approach Pommie convicts have been arriving in Australia ever since.
Sri Lankans are threatening a repeat dose. The Tamil Tiger element is of a calibre similar to the convicts and all it’s going to take to get things really rolling is a mutiny on the Oceanic Viking and a short voyage to Christmas Island to plant the flag.
No humane person could possibly expect Sri Lankans to settle in Indonesia. They haven’t got the slightest interest in cricket and don’t even know Muralitharan’s bowling average.
Kevin has been so wonderfully tough yet humane in dealing with the asylum seeker crisis. He ordered the Oceanic Viking to take the Sri Lankans back to Indonesia but has the infinite patience to allow them to stay on board to get used to the port-a-loos he provided. He realises that asylum seeking is about far more than a first flush.
John Howard and Philip Ruddock successfully addressed the first coming on the Tampa. Kevin has taken the view that if he turns the other cheek to the second coming on the Oceanic Viking he could be exposed as an ass.
You can’t help feeling that this latest crisis is all the fault of the people smugglers. After all they were paid good money by the asylum seekers for the trip to Christmas Island and they failed to deliver. According to travel industry best practice they should charter another vessel to complete the job. The Oceanic Viking would be ideal and it’s not going anywhere at the moment.
On the other hand people smugglers point out that they can’t afford to transport asylum seekers in anything too flash because as soon as they reach Australia their boats are impounded and the crew arrested. What’s more they are particularly aggrieved that after years of dedicated service to Aussie immigration, often in the most trying circumstances, Qantas remains the Australian Government’s preferred carrier for asylum seekers.
Australian cricket authorities are very concerned about the Oceanic Viking situation. They believe the next generation of Aussie cricket stars could be on board and are ready to rush anyone who can bowl a decent bent-arm doosra to join the touring party in India.
Malcolm is concerned that asylum seekers are attracted to Australia because they perceive Kevin as hopelessly humane. He’s thought to be considering a documentary showing the inhumane third-world conditions which staff have to suffer in Kevin’s office. He believes that after just one showing on the Oceanic Viking the asylum seekers would immediately dive overboard and swim to Indonesia.
Immigration experts believe the asylum seeker crisis is a race problem which can be easily solved. All it takes is a pie and beer between races just like the Mackinnon Stakes and the Derby.
If only the Aborigines had applied a tough but humane immigration policy to the first fleet things today could be very different. Most of the pommie convicts would have been sent home and, who knows, Kevin might be living somewhere else.
Tags: Aborigines, asylum seekers, Australian Government, Christmas Island, Cricket, immigration, Indonesia, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Oceanic Viking, Philip Ruddock, Pommie convicts, Sri Lankans, Tampa
Posted in International Affairs, Politics, Weekly Mash | No Comments »
Things To Do – Week Commencing 1st November 2009
• Send Joe Hockey a present for his new baby. If Wilson Tuckey opens his mouth again next week I’ll probably have one myself.
• Must encourage Brendan Nelson to stand outside parliament with a ‘Good-bye’ sign and hope that he’s accompanied by Peter Costello.
• Must get my great new line into the media, ‘Penny isn’t worth half of tuppence’.
• Julie Bishop needs a major image makeover. I’ll recommend an affair with an asylum seeker. That would also demonstrate that the Coalition takes a personal interest in their welfare.
• Now that Kevin is beginning to wind down his stimulus package must remind him to thank me for my advice.
• If anyone else says they haven’t ruled out a comeback by Peter Costello I’m likely to commit a capital offence.
• Got another great line for the media. ‘Kevin’s so soft on asylum seekers that when he visits Christmas Island he’ll enter the detention centre down a chimney’.
• Why do Wilson Tuckey and Barnaby Joyce remind me of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble? Better let that one go through to the keeper.
• Must remind Joe Hockey and Tony Abbott there’s as much chance of them getting my job as Anthony Albanese becoming a male model.
• Will suggest that Peter Costello and Wilson Tuckey go to Brussels with Brendan Nelson. They don’t give a continental about dividing the party.
• Thought of yet another great line for the media. ‘I’m insisting on negotiating the ETS amendments with Kevin at the MCG because it’s not a spinners wicket’.
• Must speak to Newspoll about their latest data. It’s ludicrous that only seventeen percent prefer me as prime minister rather than Kevin. That’s like preferring a second-rate spinner to Ricky Ponting at first wicket down.
• Will have to set aside time next week to negotiate the ETS amendments with Penny and Kevin. Joe refers to them as the penny farthing.
• What the hell’s Peter Dutton up to? I hope he retains his seat so I can kick him up the ass.
• Must decide on negotiating techniques for the ETS amendments. If they agree to them I’ll promise when I become prime minister to appoint Kevin as permanent head of a committee looking into the effects of climate change on asylum seekers. And I’ll get John Howard to witness the agreement.
• I see the local ballet are doing Swan Lake. It should be renamed Swan Sea of Debt.
• Must start my Christmas present list. On second thoughts forget it. The free advice I’ve given everybody this year is more than enough.
• Next week’s the time to stand up and save Australia from the ETS, asylum seekers and Kevin. I’ve got to show that he’s no better at reducing emissions than he is at reducing admissions.
Tags: Anthony Albanese, asylum seekers, Barnaby Joyce, Barney Rubble, Brendan Nelson, carbon emissions trading, Christmas Island, Climate Change, ETS, Fred Flintstone, Joe Hockey, John Howard, Julie Bishop, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, MCG, Newspoll, Penny Wong, Peter Costello, Peter Dutton, Ricky Ponting, Swan Lake, Swan Sea of Debt, Tony Abbott, Wilson Tuckey
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- Send a note to the RAAF to thank them for the trip to Jakarta and for preventing asylum seekers boarding the return flight. Food was still ghastly – make a note to take sandwiches next time.
- Thank Yudhoyono for his hospitality and compliment him on his NZ solution for asylum seekers. Pick-up by NZ navy is a great idea but must check if they’ve still got a navy.
- Do media interviews describing Malcolm’s ETS amendments as a business development plan for the coal industry. He thinks ETS stands for extra tax slug.
- Set timetable for negotiating amendments with Malcolm. Penny says it will be like trying to tell a deaf person to turn up his hearing aid.
- Co-ordinate with Penny to select our Malcolm tag of the week; ‘Barnaby Joyce’s Stooge’, ‘The Carbon Cavalier’ or ‘The Stoker at the Furnace of Global Warming’. I like those.
- Tell Wayne he looks like an absolute goose on TV in a hard hat. It reminds me of a huge bottom spilling out over the sides of a small chair.
- Meet with the coal industry to promote the ETS, urge increased spending on clean coal research and emphasise the need to increase exports to China.
- Talk to Glenn Stevens about his remarks in favour of ending the stimulus package and remind him of the need to stay above politics like Ken Henry.
- Discuss the schools stimulus programme with Julia. Am a bit worried about the forecast that we shall soon have more school halls than schools.
- Chat to Barack about my chances for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. If he won it this year for following George W. Bush I should be a shoe-in next year for following John Howard. Will suggest he drops a word or two when he gets gonged in December.
- Check with Newspoll about their latest data. They must have made a mistake. It’s impossible that only 65% prefer me as prime minister now that Peter’s given it away and the only competition is Malcolm.
- Must think of something good to say about the NSW Government which doesn’t send everybody into fits of laughter.
- Check whether Jenny Macklin at long last has managed to build at least one bloody house in the Northern Territory.
- Suggest to Barack we should cut to the chase and hold a G2 meeting.
- On second thoughts Barnaby Joyce could be right about me being worth a million dollars. I could even be worth more. Must take a few soundings.
- Tell Peter Garrett that I don’t think a wig would suit him.
- Check with Belinda Neal about anger management courses. My staff tell me there’s someone in our office badly in need of one
- Newspoll has just reported that I have a 5% approval rating amongst my staff dropping to 1% if you include the ones who have just left. Perhaps the bunk beds in the office aren’t very comfortable.
- Must be careful not to reject all Malcolm’s ETS amendments because it might be the end of him as Coalition leader. Its possible that Joe or Tony could be an improvement.
Tags: asylum seekers, Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Belinda Neal, carbon emissions trading, China, coal, ETS, G2, George Bush, George W Bush, Glenn Stevens, Jakarta, Jenny Macklin, Joe Hockey, John Howard, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Nobel Peace Prize, NSW Government, NZ, Penny Wong, Peter Costello, Peter Garrett, Schools, Tony Abbott, Wayne Swan, Yudhoyono
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