Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
25th March 2010
Dear Mr President,
We’re so proud of you here at the Club. I’ve always said that if there’s one thing Americans need its healthcare. All those hot dogs and hamburgers can’t be good for you.
The world’s first Obama Fan Club had a wonderful healthcare celebration party this week. I dressed as a nurse as a bit of a giggle but it really turned Neville on and I gave everyone a tin of bandaids as a momento.
We’ve got over the disappointment of not seeing you this month and look forward to your visit in June. You won’t believe what we’re planning for you. Actually it was my idea. We’re going to invite you to a Tea Party. Don’t panic, here’s the genius bit. We plan to hold it at the former HQ of the Australian Democrats. Unfortunately they became extinct but I know you’ll appreciate the symbolism.
The trip to Aussie will give you the opportunity to relax and forget about health insurance and abortions even those which are two thousand seven hundred pages long.
I was shocked beyond words the other night when I heard what that guy said about Kevin on Lateline. For reference see: http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/201003/r534578_3064633.asx
As you know I’ve always regarded Kevin as a fair dinkum trustworthy Prime Minister who is firm but fair, someone in charge you can really rely on to do the right thing by working families.
This Kroger chap, who’s obviously a Liberal, said Kevin was contemptuous of his staff and colleagues, abusive, difficult to get along with, rude, friendless and an all-round pain in the perpendicular. What’s more he claimed that Julia of all people was ready to knife him for his job.
I’ve been waiting for all his staff and colleagues to flood radio and television with outrage, rebuttals and protestations of undying love. So far nothing’s happened but I’m quietly confident someone will get their arm twisted soon.
As I said to Marge on Monday could it possibly be that I’m wrong about this great man, this 07 heaven which has brought me such hope and inspiration. Actually I wouldn’t mind so such about the swearing, I occasionally lapse myself, or about being abusive to his mates; the thing that worries me most is that he hasn’t got any mates.
It’s a big shock suddenly to be confronted with the possibility that your hero is a monster. I always thought the reason he got a bit grumpy was that he’s had Malcolm and Tony for breakfast so many times he suffers from chronic indigestion.
Marge said that if he was as popular in the electorate as he was in parliament his approval rating would be even lower than Malcolm’s.
She thinks he should spend some time at a four-letter-word addiction clinic. I thought that was a f—ing stupid idea.
Relief at last. Kevin was masterful in the hospitals debate with Tony Abbott last Tuesday. I don’t know exactly where he inserted his scalpel but at the end of the debate Tony was totally knackered.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
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