Posts Tagged ‘Malcolm Turnbull’
OBAMA RUDD CALL
This week Guy the Friday Mash Superfly winged his way back to the US, managed to penetrate White House security and found a place on an Oval Office wall just as the President was on the phone to the Prime Minister of Australia.
Guy showed great courage in undertaking this mission in view of the President’s well-publicised skills in fly zapping. Here is his exclusive report.
‘You’re right Kevin’ said Obama ‘I had no idea how difficult it would be to get a healthcare plan up and running. It’s being blocked by Republicans and healthy people’
‘I see you’ve got Nicola Roxon out there fronting your hospitals plan. It’s such a great idea to have a patient doing the selling for you. I do hope she makes a full recovery’
‘The problem is I want a comprehensive healthcare plan but the Republicans just want to strip everything off. No, not Sarah Palin thank goodness’
‘Those price-gouging health insurance companies only want to insure healthy people. Yes that’s a great idea Kevin, a publicly owned health insurance scheme which only insures people in bad health but is paid for by taxes from healthy people. Wait a bit though wouldn’t that mean that healthy people would claim to be suffering from some awful disease like neo-liberalism? Of course, that would be a dead giveaway. They’re just the people we want to tax. Brilliant’
‘Will my healthcare plan send America broke? Of course not. We’ve had Barnaby Joyce over here going through the numbers and he’s found the trillions we owe are actually billions’
‘Yes I’m definitely going to try and get the healthcare bill passed through reconciliation. What’s that? Reconciliation works better if you say ‘sorry’ first. I don’t think that would work over here’
‘It looks like Gordon Brown’s going to lose the UK election. Yes I know, he can be a terrible bully. I don’t think it’s going to be a problem for us because David Cameron seems like forty-five degrees to the left of Sean Penn and the Chinese Politburo.
‘What’s the ETS situation down there? Oh really, that bad. Frankly we’re reluctant to do too much about climate change in the US in case we cause next winter to be even colder than this one. But didn’t Malcolm Turnbull cross the floor to vote for the ETS?
Yes its such shame that he’s a republican’
‘No sorry Kevin I can’t lease Guantanamo Bay to you just yet. I know you’ve got asylum seeker problems but someone in my administration has just had the brilliant idea that down there would be the ideal place to put the terrorists on trial. Eric Holder wanted the trials to be in New York. Can you imagine all the cost and the chaos that would cause?’
‘Yes. I’m rally looking forward to the trip to Australia and meeting people like Tony Abbott. Really, but I heard he was the leader of the liberals. You mean to say that some of the liberals over there are conservatives? Then how can I tell the difference between the left-wing liberals and the conservative liberals. Oh I see the left-wing liberals are hairy and don’t dress very well just like Barney Frank. Thanks that’s a real help’
‘Is there anything I can bring over for you? What about a copy of my healthcare plan? No ? Yes I’m really looking to addressing the joint session of parliament. Just a thought. Peter Garrett didn’t insulate the parliament building did he?’
Tags: Barack, Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Barney Frank, Chinese Politburo, Climate Change, David Cameron, Eric Holder, ETS, Fly on the Wall, Gordon Brown, Guantanamo Bay, Guy the Fly, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, neo-liberalism, Nicola Roxon, Obama Healthcare, Obamacare, President of US, Sarah Palin, Sean Penn, Tony Abbott, UK election
Posted in Fly on the Wall | No Comments »
No Interest
No wonder the Reserve Bank doesn’t have any customers. It’s always the first to raise interest rates.
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Full Montys
Everyone who turned up at the Opera House with their gear off had parts in the mass nude shoot. Most of them were private.
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The Right Prescription
Kevin’s hospitals plan is very timely. People are beginning to get sick of him.
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A Suitable Case for Treatment
State governments running hospitals are not good for our health, the federal-state shared responsibility structure is a bigger health threat than smoking, and giving Nicola Roxon sole charge of hospitals would make Peter Garrett look like an expert on safety in the home.
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A Candidate for Premier
It is difficult to ascertain if Michelle Chantelois is a candidate in the upcoming South Australian election. Most commentators, however, agree that she’s an also-Rann.
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A Really Sorry Day
Political strategists believe it will be another six months before Kevin starts apologising for his hospitals plan.
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The Name Game
Hugo Chavez recently called Hillary Clinton ‘the blond Condoleezza’. How outrageous. The next thing he‘ll be calling Obama ‘the black George W Bush’.
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Bad Taste
Following his sojourn in the outback Tony Abbott is undecided about which left the nastier taste in his mouth, Malcolm crossing the floor or witchetty grubs.
Tags: Barack Obama, Condoleezza Rice, George W Bush, Health, healthcare, Hillary Clinton, hospitals, Hugo Chavez, interest rates, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Michelle Chantelois, Mike Rann, Nicola Roxon, Opera House, Peter Garrett, President of US, RBA, Sorry, Tony Abbott, witchetty grubs
Posted in Carbon Emissions | No Comments »
Back from two brilliantly successful assignments in the US Guy the Friday Mash Superfly managed to find space on a wall overlooking an emergency meeting of Kevin’s spin doctors. Here is his exclusive report.
‘This insulation thing’s an absolute disaster’ said Greg ‘We can’t unload any of the blame onto Malcolm or Tony. What the hell are we going to do about it?’
‘I think we should re-emphasise Kevin’s commitment to working families’ said Brendan
‘Are you kidding?’ snapped Greg ‘most of them are cowering in their homes frightened their roof is about to catch fire’
‘Perhaps this is the time’ said Sharon ‘to introduce a new idiosyncratic Kevin phrase like ‘systemic programmatic specificities’
‘Perhaps this is the time Shaz for you to get a job with Tony Abbott’ said Greg
‘I’ve got it’ said Brendan ‘we should package Kevin as the Global Statesman’
Illustration: Jim Pavlidis (The Age)
‘They’re not going to buy it’ said Greg ‘Copenhagen was an unmitigated Kevin disaster, nobody can understand what he’s talking about in China even when he talks in English and he’s just sent an ambassador to Washington in a wheelchair’
‘Bingo’ said Sharon ‘Kevin 07 plus 3. The man who saved Australia from a complete insulation disaster by taking the courageous and fearless decision to fire Peter Garrett.
‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he’ll probably have to save Australia from further disasters by courageously and fearlessly firing Nicola Roxon and Stephen Conroy and then maybe the public will start thinking its time to courageously and fearlessly fire Kevin. Hold that thought on Kevin 07 plus 3 though. That’s interesting’
‘I’ve had an idea’ said Brendan ‘Obama’s coming here soon. Perhaps we could persuade him to call Kevin the Wizard of Oz or something’
‘Too dangerous’ said Greg ‘he might get mixed up and call him the Tin Man or the Man of Tin’
‘I know’ said Sharon ‘the Action Man’
‘Oh please’ said Greg ‘That’s just the point. He hasn’t done anything except hand out money’
‘But’ said Sharon ‘we could portray him as the Super Action Man who takes on and defeats Action Man Abbott’
‘Oh sure’ said Greg ‘I can just see Kevin poleaxing Tony in a boxing ring or wearing budgie smugglers. On Kevin they’d look more like tadpole smugglers’
‘Ok smarty’ said Sharon ‘what’s your brilliant idea then? If we don’t come up with a new spin strategy soon there’s a danger the public will begin to see Kevin as he really is.
‘My key spin strategy is to get Kevin to accept responsibility for the insulation disaster’ said Greg ‘The public will appreciate the gesture but nobody will seriously believe its his fault. Then to reinforce that belief he should fire Peter’
‘Brilliant’ said Sharon ‘we can then spin him as the mea culpa prime minister. The public will suss its Kevin selflessly taking the blame for his incompetent minister’
‘And if it works for insulation’ said Brendan ‘it can work for hospitals, the national broadband network, the ETS …’
‘Yes alright’ said Greg ‘ Let’s get Kevin in to brief him on the mea culpa prime minister spin strategy and Shaz ring Kerry O’Brien to book a date to launch it on The 7.30 Report.
Tags: Ambassabor to Washington, Barack Obama, China, Copenhagen, education, ETS, Fly on the Wall, Guy the Fly, home insulation scheme, Kevin Rudd, Kevin07, KRudd, Malcolm Turnbull, national broadband network, Nicola Roxon, Peter Garrett, President Obama, Stephen Conroy, systemic programmatic specificities, Tony Abbott, Wizard of Oz
Posted in Fly on the Wall | No Comments »
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
26th February 2010
Dear Mr President,
You are just not going to believe this. All four of those people who came to the Sarah Palin Roast and half-price beer night came back for our club meeting this week and are now paid up members. So that takes us to a total of twenty-two and there were actually twenty-three at the meeting because the cleaning lady stayed on.
Great excitement here this week over the government’s insulation scheme. It’s been a big shock to everyone and Peter Garrett’s in deep doodoo over it. Mind you it only goes to prove what I’ve always said. Greenies like Peter are great at stirring the possum but get them to organise something like batts in your belfry and they’re totally out of their environment.
You’re not going to believe this either. Tony Abbott’s given up sex for Lent. Neville said it was Mary MacKillop’s third miracle.
I saw Malcolm Turnbull on the telly last night and I can’t believe I’m saying this but he almost came across as likeable. You can’t help admiring him for supporting Kevin’s ETS although he probably hasn’t got the faintest idea what it’s all about just like the rest of us.
It doesn’t look like Malcolm will get a decent gig in the Coalition while the Mad Monk’s in charge so I hope Kevin finds a decent job for him. I wrote to him suggesting he should organise a new political party called the Don’t Knows. They’re already ahead of the Greens in the polls.
I had prepared to discuss some really profound international issues at the World Affairs Think Tank this week but all they wanted to talk about was the ETS and climate change. So I hastily changed the subject to ‘Climate Change, the ETS and ERF; are they all a con job?’
Cyril said he’d watched the weather forecast on Channel Nine News every day for over twenty years and there was no sign of the climate changing.
Marge said she hadn’t got a clue what the ETS is about. She couldn’t believe that the government wanted to charge everyone for smoke. She claimed her Alf blew smoke out of his backside at least twice a day and the ETS would make him unaffordable.
Our Mavis’ Bert said he had really tried hard to understand Tony Abbott’s ERF. He believed it was basically about persuading people to stay home in the dark, because electricity would be too expensive, and spend more time having sex as long as it wasn’t during Lent, with a catholic priest or with one of his daughters.
Mildred as usual was right on the money. She claimed that Copenhagen was a disaster because there’s no one size fit all climate change solution. Every country should decide what climate it wants and design an ETS or an ERF to make it happen. We should leave all the world stuff to Al Gore and also Kevin because obviously Australia doesn’t emit enough carbon to keep him fully interested.
I summed it all up by saying whatever our views we should all take part in Clean-up Australia this year. I couldn’t see what it’s got to do with climate change but I was sure there is a connection somewhere. What’s more this year there will be loads of waste batts to clean up.
Till next week,
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Al Gore, Clean-up Australia, Climate Change, Copenhagen, ETS, Greens, home insulation scheme, Insulation, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Mary MacKillop, Peter Garrett, Sarah Palin, Tony Abbott
Posted in Obama Fan Club | No Comments »
Wonderful, Wonderful Copenhagen
Kevin took 114 delegates to the Copenhagen Conference. Friday Mash can now confirm there were no fatalities on this mission and all have returned safely. Some delegates however reportedly suffered hypothermia, a couple had mental breakdowns trying to make sense of it all and one was rescued from a snowdrift by a great dane.
The Greatest Moral Challenge of our Time
Tony Abbott is keen that his Emissions Reduction Fund should retain its virginity as long as possible and is determined to stop Kevin stuffing it.
Thanks a Trillion
A White House spokesman has confirmed that Obama wont be bringing the US debt to Australia. China owns such a large part of of it they insist he leaves it there for safe keeping while he’s overseas.
Unseasonal Greetings
Despite rumours that he is planning to seek asylum in Australia immigration authorities will not insist Obama travels here from Indonesia via Christmas Island. On the other hand there is still a widespread view that his first coming in Australia should be at Christmas.
A Case of Whether
The good news for Australia on climate change is that NZ now has an ETS up and running. Obviously the sensible thing for Kevin to do is check whether it has any effect on global warming before trying to launch one here.
Tally Ban
Following an extensive research study the Taliban will not be fielding any candidates in the NSW State Election in 2011. Surprisingly the study showed they were even less popular than the current Labor Government.
Floored
Consistent with Kevin’s beneficence in providing jobs for opposition members it is expected that after Malcolm crosses the floor to vote for the ETS he will be offered the job of cleaning it.
Rejoyce
It is difficult to understand why Wayne Swan and Lindsay Tanner are so critical of Barnaby Joyce. He’s helping the Labor Government immeasurably more than they are.
Tags: Barack Obama, Barnaby Joyce, Christmas Island, Copenhagen, Copenhagen Conference, Debt, Emissions Reduction Fund, ETS, global warming, immigration, Kevin Rudd, Lindsay Tanner, Malcolm Turnbull, NSW Labor Government, NSW State Election, President of USA, Taliban, Tony Abbott, US debt, virginity, Wayne Swan
Posted in Carbon Emissions | 1 Comment »
Newsletter from Australia
White House,
Washington DC.,
22nd January 2010
Dear Mr President,
We’re all so disappointed. Hillary canceled her visit to Australia. It’s such a shame. We even had the local mayor lined up for an official welcome.
We’re not sure whether she had to go and sort out another disaster in world affairs or in Bill’s affairs.
It was too late to invite Prince William to take her place. Lovely young fellow he is. I’d marry him myself if it wasn’t for Neville and the fact that I’m already Queen of the Beauthaven Beer Festival.
What on earth’s going on in your country? Fancy calling poor old Harry Reid a racist. He isn’t even in the Republican Party.
Even I was accused of racism last week. I refused to let this friend of Gladys’ join the club. Its true he’s a Sri Lankan but he’s also an absolute arsehole.
You’re not going to believe this but Penny Wong’s already rabbiting on about a third go at passing the ETS legislation. Its like having to sit through one of Fidel Castro’s speeches for a third time. Can’t you find her a position measuring climate change in Northern Alaska?
I know you’ll be thrilled to hear that this week our World Affairs Think Tank tackled one of the most momentous questions facing Australia, ‘Should we become a republic’. It would have been lovely to have Prince William there to speak on behalf of his mother.
Marge reckoned it all depends on what sort of republic. We don’t want to become a banana republic or a republic like Germany and Russia which don’t seem to have any fun and start all the wars. She recognised that the US was also a republic which started wars but at least you seem to have a bit of fun.
Gladys thought it was a shame that the US was no longer a monarchy because we could have played you at cricket and you wouldn’t be wasting so much time in the shower.
Cyril said it would be great if Australia became a republic because Malcolm Turnbull could become President and it would stop him making a nuisance of himself.
Mildred believed that Australia should stay a monarchy with an Aussie royal family. All our royal talent like Princess Mary are having to go abroad because of a lack of opportunities back home.
Our Mavis’ Bert agreed with Mildred and said that even the Welsh Rugby team had its own Queen.
Mavis thought that Malcolm Fraser is qualified to become King of Australia because he’s such a right royal pain in the ass.
Arthur thought we should become a republic to avoid getting a Queen whose only qualification for the job was a propensity for sending Charles potty with passion.
I summed it all up brilliantly by pointing out that as the Obama Fan Club was dedicated to a Democrat there’s no way we can support Australia becoming Republican.
I’m so excited that we’re producing such good stuff for you.
Till next week.
Gaelene Woo
President
Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, ETS, Fidel Castro, Harry Reid, Hillary Clinton, Malcolm Fraser, Malcolm Turnbull, Obama Fan Club, Penny Wong, President, President of USA, Prince Charles, Prince William, Princess Mary, Republican Party, The Queen
Posted in Obama Fan Club | No Comments »
Guy the Friday Mash Superfly brings you all the latest buzz on the powerful and the pathetic from his unique vantage point high up on the walls of their offices.
Kevin convened a meeting with Julia, Wayne and Penny to discuss tactics for a third go at getting the ETS legislation passed.
‘Fair suck of the sauce bottle’ said Kevin ‘Penny spends ages locked away with that MacFarlane guy, we get Malcolm in our pocket and then the Coalition go fxxking feral and we’re up against a climate change cretin like the Mad Monk. He’s your mate Julia, can’t you do some budgie smuggling with him?’
‘Now Kevin let’s be absolutely clear about this’ said Julia ‘I went off him after he called you a toxic bore, an egregious egotist, a prissy, preening little nerd and a …’
‘Alright, alright’ said Kevin ‘now here’s the plan. We’ll have to explain the ETS a bit more like coming clean about what its actually going to cost people’
‘Good heavens’ said Penny, visibly shaken ‘you can’t to that. You can’t trust people to put the fate of the world and this government before their own greedy self-interest.’
‘All we have to say’ said Kevin ‘is that everyone’s getting an ETS rebate. We don’t have to reveal that for half the population it’s hopelessly inadequate. And Penny I want you to lead an ETS charm offensive. Have your face permanently botoxed into a smile and stop referring to Tony Abbott as a Neanderthal sub-human sceptic’
‘I’d rather spend another week at the Copenhagen Conference’ said Penny
‘I think we should review whether the ETS is the best way to reduce carbon emissions’ said Wayne
Kevin recoiled in horror like someone had just served him a beef sandwich.
‘What the fxxk are you talking about Wayne’ he roared ‘of course it’s the fxxking best way’
‘Shouldn’t we set up a parliamentary committee to investigate it?’ asked Wayne bravely ‘I mean it’s a huge economic pain in the ass and the Northern Hemisphere’s just entered a new ice age’
‘I’ve already got five committees investigating it’ said Kevin ‘and there’s another committee analysing whether we should have another committee’
The intercom buzzed ‘Excuse me prime minister, John Grant’s on the phone asking whether you’ll need to borrow a ute for the next election’
‘Tell him I’ll need two’ said Kevin ‘there isn’t room for my hair dryer if I only use one’
‘Well I’d bring in another stimulus package’ said Wayne ‘to pay everybody’s electricity bills’.
‘That’s a fxxking stupid idea’ said Kevin ‘I’m spending all my time trying to stop Julia wasting stimulus money on senseless school halls’
‘I know’ said Julia ‘we should give everybody work choices. They can either install their own solar heating or spend their weekends at power stations cleaning coal’
‘Brilliant’ said Kevin ‘I’ve always liked the idea of work choices’
Tags: Climate Change, Coalition, Copenhagen Conference, ETS, Fly on the Wall, Ian MacFarlane, John Grant, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Penny Wong, stimulus package, Tony Abbott, Utes, Wayne Swan, Work Choices
Posted in Fly on the Wall | No Comments »
2010 will be one of the coldest years on record. Europe and the US are already recording the lowest January temperatures for yonks. Expect Kevin and Al Gore to claim that the record numbers of people suffering hypothermia are a disastrous consequence of global warming.
Kevin will get his ETS legislation passed at the ninth attempt, but only as part of an anti-smoking campaign. Smokers will be capped at twenty a day but will be able to trade for more from people who have gone to pot.
Tony Abbott will be replaced as leader of the Australian opposition after he has a wardrobe malfunction on a beach and police impound his budgies pending a smuggling investigation.
The Australian federal election will be fought on the economy and the ETS with the Greens making sweeping gains by pointing out that if you have a fair dinkum ETS you can’t afford an economy.
Kevin will run an election campaign which is so toxically boring that half the population will leave the country and the other half will watch DVDs of the Copenhagen Climate Change Conference for light relief.
Obama’s healthcare bill will finally pass in the US based on cost saving amendments which will deny treatment to hypochondriacs even if they’re sick and also to republicans who lean heavily to the right.
The NSW Labor Government will change premiers three times during the year before reaching the conclusion that Joe Tripodi doesn’t have a mate capable of doing the premier’s job.
Tiger Woods will win the 2010 Bartenders Award for shaking the best cocktail waitresses and will take advantage of laws in South Africa allowing polygamy by marrying at least fifty hostesses. This will ensure the next time he strays off the fairway into the rough it will probably be with one of his wives.
The Climate Change Conference in Mexico will achieve an unprecedented level of unanimity because no-one will turn up except Kevin and Al Gore.
The campaign against terrorism will intensify and women seeking to become members of the mile high club will be warned against trying it on with men wearing explosive underpants. They will be advised rather to concentrate on experiences with men offering less dramatic Bonds.
The UK election will be fought on the economy but on assuming power David Cameron will discover the country no longer has one.
The US economy will remain deep in the tank with Obama giving himself an A+ for preventing it from going totally down the toilet and settling the debt to China by giving them Alaska and Sarah Palin provided she’s interned as a dissident.
Politics in Australia will continue to stimulate with Kevin sustaining high popularity rankings by replacing his spin doctors with witch doctors who cast a spell over the electorate. Malcolm Turnbull will sit on a beach in the Maldives trying to repel rising sea levels but he will be dressed in diving gear.
During 2010 the world will once again await the emergence of a politician with the courage and sheer genius to do something wonderful for mankind. And it will almost certainly be doing the same in 2011.
Tags: Al Gore, anti-smoking, Barack Obama, Climate Change Conference, Copenhagen, David Cameron, ETS, federal election, global warming, Joe Tripodi, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, NSW Labor Government, Obama Healthcare, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Tiger Woods, Tony Abbott
Posted in Weekly Mash | No Comments »
It’s such a busy time of year and not surprising that so many forget about New Year’s Resolutions. Here’s a few gentle reminders to those sorely in need.
Hostesses and
cocktail waitresses - ban dates with Tiger
Obama - change into something we can really believe in
President Hu - develop an image as Old King Coal
Tony Abbott - take the painful step up to ferret smugglers
Malcolm Turnbull - reduce greenhouse gas emissions by becoming less of an old fart
Gordon Brown - take constipation tablets regularly
Berlusconi - stay out of crowds unless they’re young girls
Penny Wong - tattoo ‘ETS’ on her backside so she can sit on it for a while
Father Christmas - abandon plans to extend his franchise into Afghanistan
Julie Bishop - pick up a few tips from Deputy Dawg
Bill Clinton - don’t become jealous of Tiger
Robert Mugabe - spend Zimbabwe’s climate change grant from the UN on a luxury ski lodge in St Moritz
Julia Gillard - stop talking like an education revolution headmistress
Joe Tripodi - reduce carbon emissions by becoming a solar power broker
Al Gore - stop emiting anything. We’ve got the message
The Mayor of Copenhagen - clean up after the cyclones, earthquakes and bushfires caused by the Climate Change Conference
Sarah Palin - make an unpresidented impact
Joe Hockey - reduce waist in the Liberal Party
Kevin - achieve a further reduction in greenhouse emissions by extending the ETS to cover baked beans and artichokes
Tiger - become President of US Adulterers Anonymous and recruit Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer and Mark Sanford as foundation members
Wayne Swan - needs to take at least a couple of stimulus packages a day
Tags: Afghanistan, Al Gore, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Climate Change, ETS, Gordon Brown, Joe Hockey, Joe Tripodi, Julia Gillard, Julie Bishop, Kevin Rudd, Liberal Party, Malcolm Turnbull, President Hu, Robert Mugabe, Santa, Sarah Palin, Silvio Berlusconi, Tiger Woods, Tony Abbott, Wayne Swan
Posted in Business, International Affairs, Politics, Weekly Mash | No Comments »
Letter to Father Christmas
Dear Santa,
‘Tis the season when people of goodwill at Friday Mash think not of themselves but only of others.
We would really appreciate the delivery of our Christmas gift list set out below in your usual timely festive fashion.
Kevin Rudd - a pair of budgie smugglers to prove he’s got nothing to hide.
Malcolm Turnbull - a CD of Kevin singing ‘Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen’
Tony Abbott - a DNA test to prove he’s not the lovechild of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop
Barack Obama - the Nobel Olympic Prize for failing to bring the Games to Chicago
Penny Wong - a climate change; a long stay in Siberia perhaps
Sarah Palin - melting moments at the North Pole with Al Gore
Hillary Clinton - an ‘I should have been President’ bumper sticker
Kristina Keneally - the magic formula which turned Pinocchio from a puppet into a person
Peter Garrett - a part in Coneheads II
Bill Clinton - Tiger’s mobile with all the phone numbers
General McChrystal - a McBall so he can forsee what’s about to happen in Afghanistan
Joe Hockey - a Father Christmas outfit because he’s your natural successor
Julia Gillard - a life size Tony Abbott doll so she no longer has to flirt with him in person
Wayne Swan - a Navman so he can find his way out of the woods
George W Bush - WMDs found in Iraq
Gordon Brown - something to wear under his kilt because he’s been left dangling recently
Berlusconi - bandaids
John Howard - a dancing frog wearing a Bob Hawke face mask. On second thoughts the mask wont be necessary
Barry O’Farrell - a gift similar to that bestowed on so many hostesses and cocktail waitresses; a bit of Tiger in him
The People of NSW - an early election
The delivery of these gifts will make many people very happy. Making people happy is one of your gifts which politicians seem incapable of accepting.
Merry Christmas
From Friday Mash
Tags: Afghanistan, Al Gore, Barack Obama, Barry O’Farrell, Bill Clinton, Bronwyn Bishop, budgie smugglers, Christmas, Copenhagen, early election, Father Christmas, General McChrystal, George W Bush, Gordon Brown, Hillary Clinton, Joe Hockey, John Howard, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, Malcolm Turnbull, Penny Wong, Peter Garrett, Sarah Palin, Silvio Berlusconi, Tiger Woods, Tony Abbott, Wayne Swan, WMD
Posted in Weekly Mash | No Comments »
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