Posts Tagged ‘Penny Wong’
Methinks they doth protest too much
Kevin and Wayne are constantly crapping on about how they saved us from the global financial crisis. Much more of it and people will start getting nostalgic for the GFC.
She’s Not Wong
Penny was right. All that carbon in the Gulf of Mexico is causing sea levels to rise.
Kevin Alert
The banks have a dwindling finite resource owned by all Australians, money, and they continue to mine it. Surely that will qualify them for a super profits tax.
Going Out With a Bang
The next mining boom will be the super profits tax blowing up in Kevin’s face.
A Pointless Exercise
Political strategists believe the Labor Party have as much chance of winning the Penrith by-election as Melbourne Storm have of winning the 2010 premiership.
Nipping them in the Bud
Kevin is trying to insulate the whales against Japanese harpoons. Perhaps he should cover them with all the pink batts that are surplus to requirements.
The Worst of British
The Gulf of Mexico faux pas has probably cruelled BP’s chances of ever drilling near the Barrier Reef.
Driving Without Due Care and Attention
The federal government’s advertising campaign claims that the super profits tax will ‘drive growth and investment in the mining industry’. Of course it will, overseas.
Tags: BP oil leak, GFC, global financial crisis, government advertising, Gulf of Mexico, home insulation scheme, Japanese whaling, Kevin Rudd, mining tax, oil spill, Penny Wong, pink batts, super profits tax, Wayne Swan
Posted in Carbon Emissions | 2 Comments »
The public seem terribly confused about what Malcolm Turnbull stands for. It’s very difficult to decide whether he’s to left of the Liberal Party or to the left of Malcolm Fraser.
Friday Mash’s NoSpin Doctors have undertaken the formidable task of analysing Malcolm’s remarks over many years and identifying what he would have said had he been free to tell the unvarnished and unspun truth. Here is the result of their painstaking work.
“I agree with many Labor policies but I could never join the party. Fancy having to work with people like Peter Garrett, Wayne Swan and those union buffoons. It would even be much worse than working with Tony Abbott and Nick Minchin.
A few years ago I realised I could become a great prime minister and deemed it would be selfish of me to deny this gift to the nation and instead become instead the world’s richest man.
I joined the Liberal Party because they have at least a basic understanding of what finance is all about and might have some idea of the scope of my genius.
After some consideration I decided not to challenge John Howard for the top job immediately upon my arrival in parliament because I believed it might seem a trifle presumptuous even for me.
Then in one of the most momentous political blunders of all time after the 07 elections the Liberal Party selected Brendan as leader rather than me. Eventually they corrected this obvious ballsup but the damage was done.
One day the truth will emerge about Godwin Grech. He was acting as an undercover stooge for either Kevin or Tony, I can’t decide which yet. Wouldn’t it be ironic if both those two no-hopers became prime minister and a man like me who was born to the job missed out?
The fact that I sank so low in the opinion polls is proof positive that they are fundamentally flawed. Who in their right mind would prefer Kevin Rudd as prime minister to me?
My detractors say I am not a politician. I can’t think of a greater compliment.
Anyone with half a brain knows that the ETS is the most effective way to tackle global warming, but not that dope Tony Abbott. So he put me in the invidious position of being on the same side as Kevin and Penny and it’s even difficult for a Labor politician to live with that ignominy.
Then in the worst decision in their entire history the Liberal Party kicked me out and installed tosspot Tony. I content myself with the thought that throughout history great men have had to endure setbacks as a prelude to unleashing their greatness.
My announcement that I would not be recontesting the seat of Wentworth brought the avalanche of protests which I had anticipated thereby re-establishing my status as the true leader of the Liberal Party and the Coalition. What else could I do but reconsider my decision not to stand when that had always been my intention.
Frankly Tony and Joe Hockey aren’t that bad and could probably run a small to medium company pretty well, but the truth is that I am the only politician who can lead Australia back to financial health and world leadership and everybody knows it.
Cometh the hour, cometh the man and it will obviously be me rather than Julia Gillard”
Tags: Brendan Nelson, Coalition, ETS, Godwin Grech, Joe Hockey, John Howard, Julia Gillard, Labor policies, Liberal Party, Malcolm Fraser, Malcolm Turnbull, Nick Minchin, NoSpin Doctors, Penny Wong, Peter Garrett, Wayne Swan
Posted in NoSpin Doctors | 1 Comment »
Canberra Report by Dick Head
Elections Can Be Harmful to Your Health
There are already signs of mental stress right across the Australian community as the realisation takes hold that no matter how you vote at the upcoming federal election it will result in either Kevin Rudd or Tony Abbott becoming prime minister.
And as if that awful reality is not enough it will be preceded by an excruciatingly mind-numbing election campaign lasting six weeks.
Mental health experts are extremely concerned about the potential of this sudden barrage of political bullshit and badinage to cause people to go absolutely barking.
In order to lessen the impact they recommend a pre-conditioning treatment which consists of listening to recordings of Kevin and Barnaby Joyce trying to explain the super profits tax. Anyone surviving just one week of this treatment is guaranteed immunity from election insanity.
Further they recommend that the public should look on the bright side and take heart from the fact this election holds no prospect of Malcolm Turnbull, Wayne Swan, Bob Brown, Julie Bishop, Penny Wong or Peter Garrett becoming prime minister.
Julia’s prospects depend on the relative job performance of Kevin as prime minister and Barry Hall as full forward for the Western Bulldogs. As Barry is clearly outperforming Kevin at the moment she seems much more likely to get the PM gig than spearhead the Dogs.
The electorate should be mindful of the dangers of using election promises as the basis for their vote. They have as much validity as a Pom opener promising to make a century before he goes out to bat in an Ashes Test.
Kevin’s track record of delivering on election promises is conservatively appalling. He may be too embarrassed to make any at the next election. Nevertheless voters should be aware of his propensity for promises like Christmas Island land rights for asylum seekers and green jobs for miners made redundant by the super profits tax.
A promise by Tony to get rid of Kevin however could be his most powerful electoral asset.
The likelihood that he will promise to use pedal power on a new budget cycle when he’s in the saddle could cause voters merely to view him as a saddle-sore pain in the arse.
Undoubtedly one of the key objectives of the next election will be to prevent a group of strange green senators from Tasmania causing legislative pollution in the federal parliament.
It’s a scandal that there is no provision in Kevin’s hospitals plan for special centres to treat mental illness caused by election campaigns. Reading this column is still the only accredited treatment.
Have you seen a Kristina?
Political commentators believe that the only chance the NSW Labor Government has of winning the Penrith by-election is a daily striptease by Kristina in the town centre.
So far voters are shattered that Kristina is going nowhere near the place and they’re getting a daily dose of Barry O’Farrell instead, thankfully with his clothes on.
In a wonderful humanitarian gesture the Liberal Party is preparing to offer free psychiatric treatment to anyone intending to vote Labor.
Dick Head is almost fully recovered from the last federal election.
Tags: asylum seekers, Barnaby Joyce, Barry Hall, Barry O’Farrell, Bob Brown, Christmas Island, Dick Head, election promises, hospitals, Julie Bishop, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, Liberal Party, Malcolm Turnbull, mental health, mining tax, NSW Labor Government, Penny Wong, Peter Garrett, super profits tax, Tasmania, Tony Abbott, Wayne Swan, Western Bulldogs
Posted in Canberra correspondent - Dick Head, Election Sanity | No Comments »
There’s a hint of something sinister in the air in Canberra. Politicians have been doing even weirder things than usual.
First the ghostly Godwin Grech spooked Malcolm, then Kevin contracted compulsive backflip disorder, Tony has let Kerry O’Brien make an honest dishonest man of him and now Wayne is trying to convert the mining industry into an extension of the Tax Department.
Friday Mash’s confidential investigative sources in Canberra believe they’re on to something. They are possibly uncovering evidence that senior female federal ministers have formed a witches’ coven and are hatching sinister plots. Could it be that Julia Gillard, Nicola Roxon and Penny Wong have decided to stir the pot and weave their malicious magic?
Penny obviously blames Tony for her post fatal depression over the ETS. Nicola must be sick and tired of trailing Kevin round hospitals like a mid-wife in case he gave birth to something or had to abort another promise. All three are Tonyphobic because he’s against abortions and they believe Kevin should be able to have one whenever he wants.
But above all Kevin’s sent them stir crazy because they all thought he was full of promise and he’s turned out to be merely full of himself. Wayne’s now taking credit for everything and has to be stopped before Visa and American Express cancel his cards.
Rumour hath it that wicked spells abound.
Double, double, toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Government sources are still not worried. They have been saying for months that Kevin needs a spell. But if he’s gone off the boil the cauldron certainly hasn’t.
When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning or in rain
These wild chants echoing around Canberra are starting to get people worried. It has been confirmed that there have been no current productions of Macbeth in the city. Someone suggested they might be coming from a group concerned about climate change.
Round about the cauldron go
In the poisoned entrails throw
There is no clear indication of the nature of these poisoned entrails but a watch is being kept at hospitals to check whether John Howard has his appendix or his gall bladder removed.
Eye of newt and toe of frog
Wool of bat and tongue of dog
Throwing in batts wool is really going to add insulation fuel to the fire.
Canberra is rife with rumours. Is Julie Bishop under a spell or does she always look like that? Will Bronwyn emerge in the terrifying image of Lady Macbeth and act as though she’s married to Kevin?
Are Julia, Nicola and Penny even now shrieking the hideous chants and casting the diabolical spells which will render Kevin ready for a tap on the shoulder from Julia’s broomstick?
Fair is foul and foul is fair
Hover through the fog and filthy air
Lead on MacDuff. Someone’s got to find a way through all those carbon emissions.
Tags: American Express, ATO, Bronwyn Bishop, Carbon Emissions, Climate Change, ETS, Godwin Grech, home insulation scheme, hospitals, John Howard, Julia Gillard, Julie Bishop, Kerry O’Brien, Kevin Rudd, Lady Macbeth, MacDuff, Malcolm Turnbull, mining tax, Nicola Roxon, Penny Wong, Roger Pugh, super profits tax, Tony Abbott, Visa, Wayne Swan
Posted in Weekly Mash | 2 Comments »
For some time Friday Mash has perceived that politicians have a serious communication problem. Political rhetoric is becoming increasingly detached from reality.
Some argue it is unreasonable to expect politicians to tell the truth when it could cost them votes or their job. Others are concerned that politicians could lose all credibility if they become totally disconnected from the bleedin’ obvious.
For example Julia sees the building of an education revolution while the public sees revoltingly overpriced and undersized school buildings.
NoSpin Doctors is yet another political public service from Friday Mash. We have assembled a team with world class expertise in derevolutionising spin and getting to the truth of the matter. Their first assignment is to help you understand what Kevin might have said about the ETS if he wasn’t a prime political spinner.
Here is their NoSpin version.
“Climate change was very effective in helping me win the 07 election and also in identifying me as a world-class statesman and future Secretary General of the United Nations.
I called climate change ‘The greatest moral challenge of our generation’ because that was the best slogan the spin doctors could come up with and it made me sound really committed.
There’s no doubt that Malcolm Turnbull is an all-time bombastic pompous twit but it was great to have him onside in the ETS debate.
I became convinced that the ETS was an absolute no-brainer because it raised tons of taxes, needed a whole new level of bureaucracy and reduced the Coalition to a heap of carbon-emiting ashes.
Everything was proceeding brilliantly until that prime pain in the arse Tony Abbott rolled Malcolm and the ETS went down the tubes together with my chances of being the star of the Copenhagen Conference.
I acknowledge that Penny and I exaggerated the consequences of not passing the ETS legislation through the Parliament before Copenhagen. I’m sure people understood that bushfires, droughts and raging seas would not actually engulf Australia before Christmas but I was apprehensive that if I went to Copenhagen without an ETS no-one would take any notice of me. At least I got that right.
In retrospect I have to admit that Tony was right about not rushing ahead with the ETS before Copenhagen and of course the Coalition was quite right to throw it out in the Senate.
If it had passed Australia would be lumbered with a massive tax on everything and be hopelessly uncompetitive in world markets. I only wish I’d heeded Tony’s advice sooner.
My decision to abandon the ETS and a few other difficult projects has caused my poll numbers to drop. But I do not shrink from the tough decisions needed to axe projects resulting from my stupid decisions in the first place.
Yes it’s true the ETS is a massive tax on everything and Penny and I were less than frank about its true impacts, but I think it’s a bit rich that from Beijing to London and right across Australia I am now being subjected to an outbreak of global cooling.”
Tags: BER, Building the Education Revolution, Climate Change, Climate Change Conference, Copenhagen, Copenhagen Conference, ETS, global cooling, global warming, greatest moral challenge of our generation, Julia Gillard, Kevin 07, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Penny Wong, Political rhetoric, Roger Pugh, Tony Abbott, United Nations
Posted in Weekly Mash | 1 Comment »
There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned political sex scandal to reawaken people’s interest in politics, to lend romance, intrigue and humanity to political life.
Alas it seems that political sex scandals are not what they used to be. Nowadays politicians seem to pursue them purely out of personal lust without regard to the greater good of the party. Besides there are no votes in them anymore unless pursued across a prohibitively wide spectrum of the electorate.
The accolade for the number one all-time political sex scandal must go to John Profumo, a UK Cabinet Minister in the MacMillan Government who bonked Christine Keeler concurrently with a KGB agent, and was married to top actress and good sort Valerie Hobson.
This political sex scandal had everything; glamour, spies, pillow talk, a film star, a pimp, upper class moral decay and a government crisis.
MacMillan’s famous quote ‘You’ve never had it so good’ has been attributed to the release of strong economic indicators. Some historians however believe it was addressed to John Profumo.
UK Conservative MPs were revealed regularly in romps with Madam Lash but those scandals ended summarily when Margaret Thatcher took over the role.
US politicians seem to lack the refinements required by the classic political sex scandal where sophistication and social graces are de rigueur unadulterated by tackiness and bad taste.
A US president shouldn’t be taking advantage of a young intern and its absolutely unacceptable for the Governor of New York to pay for it.
Berlusconi claims he’s never paid for it but he only makes news when he’s involved in sex-free political scandals. In France a bit on the side is as integral to the Presidency as a lot of front.
President Zuma of South Africa has achieved an interesting balance. He’s got so many official wives and girlfriends it’s impossible to tell whether he’s involved in a political sex scandal or not.
Source: SMH
Australia’s greatest political sex scandal was Gareth Evans’ text-book seduction of Cheryl Kernot into the Labor Party. The recent Troy Buswell – Adele Carles cross-party affair deserves honourable mention although it resulted in Troy coming out of the cabinet and Adele coming out of the Greens. In both cases a closet was obviously inappropriate.
John Della Bosca’s affair lacked the glamour of a classic political sex scandal although he deserved a bravery award. He was married to someone for whom nuclear disarmament is deemed a more relevant treatment than anger management .
It’s time for a British politician to selflessly restore the glory days in UK politics by having a public affair with someone with close ties to the Royal Family, Dodi Fayed, Osama bin Laden, Paris Hilton and Gay Pride Week.
In Australia the ultimate challenge is seducing Julia Gillard, Nicola Roxon and Penny Wong into the Coalition. At this stage Kevin seems the man most likely but it will be more about frustration than sex.
Tags: Cheryl Kernot, Christine Keeler, Dodi Fayed, Gareth Evans, Gay Pride Week, John Della Bosca, John Profumo, Julia Gillard, MacMillan Government, Madam Lash, Margaret Thatcher, Nicola Roxon, Osama Bin Laden, Paris Hilton, Penny Wong, political sex scandal, President Zuma, sex, Silvio Berlusconi, the Greens, Troy Buswell, UK Conservatives, Valerie Hobson
Posted in Weekly Mash | No Comments »
Storm Warning
Kevin would be the ideal choice as coach of the Melbourne Storm. He’s shown an outstanding ability to achieve pointless results.
Copping a Packet
Proposed new slogans to go on cigarette packets are ‘Kevin can be harmful to your health’ and ‘Smoking can cause an ETS’.
Penny Spent
There are indications from Canberra that Penny Wong has been capped and traded.
Oil and Water Do Mix
Experts have been warning for some time that oil reserves are running out but thanks to a BP initiative just off Louisiana we shall soon all be swimming in it.
To Pits
Kevin’s new taxation policy has been shown to have miner flaws but government sources deny he’s just digging another big hole for himself.
Giving Him a Plug
Obama was called in to see whether he could plug the BP oil leak but unfortunately he wasn’t wide enough.
Melting Moments
Penny Wong says she isn’t giving up on global warming. Sources predict she’ll soon be off to Antarctica to try and set some glaciers on fire.
Waxing Wayne
It’s so considerate of Kevin to bring Wayne out of summer hibernation just in time to take all the blame for the budget and the super profits tax.
Tags: Antarctica, Barack Obama, BP oil leak, cigarette packaging, ETS, global warming, health warnings, Henry Tax Review, Kevin Rudd, Melbourne Storm, Penny Wong, Roger Pugh, super profits tax, tax reform, Wayne Swan
Posted in Carbon Emissions | 1 Comment »
And it came to pass that carbon emissions were polluting the land and the people were really choked up about it.
Kevin the Grand Prophet of the Decarbonators and his sidekick Prebendary Penny were roaming the land warning of dire consequences like drought, fires and Julie Bishop if they were not anointed the true saviours who could achieve a parting of the black sea of emissions with their miracle ETS and lead the people through it to a carbon-free promised land.
The blessed Malcolm who was King of the Carbonators agreed with them but his sidekick Tomcat Tony did not. He claimed the ETS was a massive tax on everything and who cares about droughts and fires if you lose you job and your electricity account is as deeply in debt as Wayne’s budget.
The Carbonators got increasingly pissed with the Blessed Malcolm because he was in bed with Grand Prophet Kevin and Prebendary Penny although he claimed it was an emissions-free zone.
Nevertheless the Blessed Malcolm parted ways with the Carbonators who made Tomcat Tony their leader and gave the Blessed one a carbon footprint up his backside.
The people became more Carbonator friendly because they didn’t want to be in hock to the electricity companies and they found out that once they reached the carbon-free promised land Prebendary Penny would be appointed the chief carbon tax collector.
Cheered on by Tomcat Tony the Carbonators in the Senate refused to allow Grand Prophet Kevin and Prebendary Penny to impose their miracle ETS on the people despite dire warnings of doom from Chief Profit Al, who believes the ETS is a carbon copy of the Holy Grail.
The Grand Profit Kevin and Prebendary Penny then travelled to a World Convocation of Decarbonators in Copenhagen but were mortified to find that their ETS got the same reception as a salary cap and trade scheme at the Melbourne Storm.
In recent times the Grand Prophet Kevin has had a greenhouse epiphany. He has renounced his miracle ETS and capped and traded the Prebendary Penny. This is the price he has to pay for staying in power although its quite reasonable compared with the price everyone else is paying for power.
The people are quite happy to go on being carbonated. Its such a relief not to have Prebendary Penny rabbiting on about disasters all the time and now they can relax and listen to music by Coal Porter.
The Grand Prophet Kevin has switched his attention to the new Greatest Moral Challenge of our Generation which is finding the way to a debt-free promised land through a parting of the red sea of ink splashed all over Wayne’s budget.
As for the challenge of reaching the carbon-free promised land through a parting of the black sea of emissions the Grand Prophet Kevin has postponed his next attempt until 2013 which will give him time to go back to the bullrushes and start work on a new miracle.
He’s not too discouraged by what has happened. After all parting is such sweet sorrow.
Tags: Carbon Emissions, carbon-free, Carbonators, Coal Porter, Copenhagen, Copenhagen Conference, Decarbonators, ETS, government debt, Julie Bishop, Kevin Rudd, Malcolm Turnbull, Melbourne Storm, Penny Wong, salary cap, Tony Abbott, Wayne Swan
Posted in Weekly Mash | No Comments »
Talking Points for Labour Politicians
Week Commencing 25th April 2010
1. Home Insulation Scheme
Try to take the heat out of this subject by reassurances that Greg Combet is doing a great job cooling things down. But don’t go overboard on Greg because Kevin wants to take most of the credit.
Reinforce the point that the scheme was part of the Governments stimulus package which has kept the country in jobs apart from the home insulation industry.
Peter Garrett continues to enhance his reputation as a first-class minister by banning Chinese coal ships from doing tourist class tours round the Barrier Reef.
The government has now taken a courageous decision to shut the scheme down. The incredible job we’re doing re-insulating the homes we’ve already insulated means we’re running out of stimulus. This development in no way detracts from the brilliant achievements of this ground-breaking initiative. It simply means that all the families who have had their homes insulated wont have to worry any more and those that haven’t wont have to worry in case they do.
2. BER
The Deputy Prime Minister is puzzled by the intense criticism of Building the Education Revolution. She claims that all the school buildings completed so far are just like the Opera House; curvy roofs and built for a song.
The Inquiry team are already hard at work and the rumour that they will receive a five per cent fee on all COLAs is being investigated.
Julia is spending a tremendous amount of time touring schools and is absolutely ecstatic at the success of the programme. She wears a hard hat not because she fears a COLA roof falling on her head but rather because Kevin doesn’t want to be the only one who looks like a goose on television.
3. ETS
Try to avoid talking about the ETS and Penny Wong. She is currently suffering from chronic Copenhagen withdrawal symptoms and is still paying off the hotel bills for the one hundred and fourteen Aussie delegates. That’s why Kevin can’t afford to go overseas at the moment.
4. Tony Abbott Sledge of the Week
He’s fallen off his bike once too often when he wasn’t wearing a helmet.
5. Joe Hockey Sledge of the Week
If he lost weight he might have a slim chance of becoming leader of the opposition.
6. The Hospitals Plan
The agreement to the hospitals plan is historic, a monumental achievement by Kevin, the biggest reform in centuries and the most significant event in the sector since Tony Abbott ripped out one billion dollars.
Above all this is a personal triumph for Kevin, the jewel in the crown of his first term and a huge advantage for working families and other people as well.
Colin Barrett, the premier of WA thought the plan was absolutely brilliant but couldn’t agree to it because he’s the political stooge of Tony Abbott. Kevin is determined to resolve this impasse through constructive negotiation even if it means WA hospitals are forced to operate in carparks.
It is a tribute to Kevin’s supreme negotiating skills that the premiers agreed to accept bucketfuls of money and to run the hospitals themselves because the federal government’s too busy cleaning up the BER and the home insulation scheme. What’s more he persuaded the premiers to hand over thirty percent of their GST revenue so he could place it in a pool where they will be absolutely swimming in it.
There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that John Brumby only agreed to the plan after he was threatened with major surgery to take out his GST and that Kristina’s agreement was secured only after she was threatened with a Tripodi-Obeid plot to replace her with Frank Sartor.
The assertion from Tony Abbott, who by the way ripped one billion dollars out of hospitals when he was health minister, that the plan simply adds another level of bureaucracy is absolutely false. The extra bureaucrats are an addition to the existing layer whose role is to prevent hospital operations becoming too bureaucratic.
And let’s not forget the patients. This plan will guarantee them world’s best practice hospital care. For example a patient who turns up at an emergency department having just had a heart attack and been run over by a bus will only have to wait a maximum of four hours.
Tags: BER, Building the Education Revolution, Chinese coal ships, COLA, Colin Barrett, Copenhagen, Copenhagen Conference, ETS, Frank Sartor, Greg Combet, GST revenue, home insulation scheme, hospital plan, hospitals, Joe Hockey, John Brumby, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Kristina Keneally, KRudd, Penny Wong, Peter Garrett, stimulus package, Tony Abbott
Posted in Politics, Weekly Mash | 2 Comments »
Unconscious Decisions
Doctor’s are delighted that Kevin and Nicola Roxon have become such frequent visitors to hospitals. They have recognised them as the clinically preferred way of sending patients into an induced coma.
Once Bitten
The Apple Isle has appeal on the outside, is quite sweet on the inside but its politics are enough to give you the pip.
Waste Measurement
Responding to criticism that his asylum seeker policy is all at sea, his ETS policy has gone cold, his BER programme has failed the test, his home insulation scheme has burnt out and his hospitals scheme is the wrong medicine, Kevin challenged Tony Abbott to come up with policies which are a better waste of money.
Conservation Consternation
The Greens in Tasmania have taken steps to ensure the Bartlett doesn’t become extinct. Even environmentalists are puzzled as to why they would want to preserve this devious creature as a premier species.
A People Person
Tony Burke has become Australia’s first Population Minister. He will be spending most of his time counting arrivals at maternity wards and Christmas Island. Population growth is simply a matter of course, the people smugglers’ course and intercourse.
Severe Weather Warning
Scientists believe the next global warming disaster will be the re-emergence of Penny Wong with a new ETS.
Afghans Hounded
In a brilliant pre-emptive move Kevin has thwarted the Taliban plan to take over Afghanistan by forcing the rest of the population to migrate to Australia.
Working Themselves to a Standstill
Responding to the news that motorists had been abandoned for up to ten hours in the F3 Motorway traffic foul-up, the NSW Government said it wasn’t their responsibility because you can’t expect the premier or the transport minister to be responsible, the incident proved their theory that by reducing traffic speeds to 1km per hour you improved road safety, their counter-flow system worked brilliantly when it was introduced eight hours after the accident and get stuffed and go by train next time.
Tags: Afghanistan, Apple Isle, asylum seekers, Bartlett, BER, Christmas Island, environmentalists, ETS, global warming, home insulation scheme, hospitals, Kevin Rudd, Nicola Roxon, NSW Government, Penny Wong, people smugglers, Sydney traffic problems, Taliban, the Greens, Tony Abbott, Tony Burke
Posted in Carbon Emissions | No Comments »
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