There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned political sex scandal to reawaken people’s interest in politics, to lend romance, intrigue and humanity to political life.

Alas it seems that political sex scandals are not what they used to be. Nowadays politicians seem to pursue them purely out of personal lust without regard to the greater good of the party. Besides there are no votes in them anymore unless pursued across a prohibitively wide spectrum of the electorate.

The accolade for the number one all-time political sex scandal must go to John Profumo, a UK Cabinet Minister in the MacMillan Government who bonked Christine Keeler concurrently with a KGB agent, and was married to top actress and good sort Valerie Hobson.

This political sex scandal had everything; glamour, spies, pillow talk, a film star, a pimp, upper class moral decay and a government crisis.

MacMillan’s famous quote ‘You’ve never had it so good’ has been attributed to the release of strong economic indicators. Some historians however believe it was addressed to John Profumo.

UK Conservative MPs were revealed regularly in romps with Madam Lash but those scandals ended summarily when Margaret Thatcher took over the role.

US politicians seem to lack the refinements required by the classic political sex scandal where sophistication and social graces are de rigueur unadulterated by tackiness and bad taste.

A US president shouldn’t be taking advantage of a young intern and its absolutely unacceptable for the Governor of New York to pay for it.

Berlusconi claims he’s never paid for it but he only makes news when he’s involved in sex-free political scandals. In France a bit on the side is as integral to the Presidency as a lot of front.

President Zuma of South Africa has achieved an interesting balance. He’s got so many official wives and girlfriends it’s impossible to tell whether he’s involved in a political sex scandal or not.

Australia’s greatest political sex scandal was Gareth Evans’ text-book seduction of Cheryl Kernot into the Labor Party. The recent Troy Buswell – Adele Carles cross-party affair deserves honourable mention although it resulted in Troy coming out of the cabinet and Adele coming out of the Greens. In both cases a closet was obviously inappropriate.

John Della Bosca’s affair lacked the glamour of a classic political sex scandal although he deserved a bravery award. He was married to someone for whom nuclear disarmament is deemed a more relevant treatment than anger management .

It’s time for a British politician to selflessly restore the glory days in UK politics by having a public affair with someone with close ties to the Royal Family, Dodi Fayed, Osama bin Laden, Paris Hilton and Gay Pride Week.

In Australia the ultimate challenge is seducing Julia Gillard, Nicola Roxon and Penny Wong into the Coalition. At this stage Kevin seems the man most likely but it will be more about frustration than sex.