Great Mate
Peter Garrett has demonstrated an ability to expostulate, discombobulate, encapsulate, recapitulate, articulate, vacillate, ululate, miscalculate, emasculate, dissimulate, gesticulate, confabulate, manipulate but alas not insulate.

Valentine Shock
If you received a Valentine Card from Kevin don’t panic, it was just part of his new stimulation package.

Oh Heavens it’s Kevin
There’s growing concern amongst health authorities at the spread of Kevin Fatigue Syndrome. Sufferers can experience frightening symptoms such as Julia Gillard beginning to look quite attractive. Spokesmen are confident however that the standard treatment comprising earplugs and blindfolds will prove effective. Labor Party heavies are said to be quite concerned that Julia herself might contract it and begin to see herself as more attractive than Kevin.

Retro Metro
The NSW Labor Government have shown themselves to be passionate metrosexuals. There’s lots of metro bonking with a number of premature withdrawals but no sign of a climax.

A Heavy Crossing to Bear
The NSW Government caused universal astonishment by rejecting proposals from two organisations to privatise the Sydney Harbour Ferries and opting to maintain the status quo. They had arguably come to the realisation that a ferry service which is profitable, on-time and free from the daily risk of crashing into Circular Quay would be a threat to their toll revenue on the Harbour Bridge.

See You Later Insulator
Kevin has done such a brilliant job insulating Peter Garrett he’s the obvious choice to go out and fix some houses.

Fairyland
During his appearance on television wearing a crown and tutu and carrying a wand Joe Hockey appeared not so much like Tinkerbell and more like the Magic Pudding.

Up the Poll
According to the polls voters are going off Kevin in droves. They must have batts in the belfry.