Latest Friday Mash polling has produced some compelling insights into the standing of Aussie political leaders amongst the electorate.

.5% preferred Kevin as prime minister, .4% preferred Tony and 99.1% preferred ‘other’. In fact Kevin went down sixty points because of a marked trend amongst the electorate towards preferring the other. Tony went up .1% owing to a statistical error.

People smugglers came out strongly for Kevin because he’s much better for business. Asylum seekers favoured Tony because they perceived that when it came to getting the support of the Aussie community he was in much the same boat.

They also thought Tony would be a better lifesaver if their boat sank but were interested in a game of deck quoits with Kevin on the voyage across from Indonesia.

95% of respondents expressed the strong view that Kevin should spend more time abroad. This result may heave been unduly skewed by multiple responses in the affirmative from his staff and his parliamentary colleagues especially Julia.

In response to the question ‘who would you prefer to instruct your daughter about sex?’ there was an overwhelming vote in favour of Kevin because he’s all talk and no action.

Tony was seen as a sex symbol amongst nuns and triathlon groupies. Kevin’s image varied between neutral and neutered although he turns on Tin Tin fans.

Kevin scored very heavily in response to the question ‘who would you trust to keep the home fires burning?’ but Tony was equally favoured in response to ‘who would you trust to keep a roof over your head?’

Kevin was strongly supported by building contractors specialising in schools and hospitals. Parents were ambivalent. Whilst they were pleased that Covered Outside Learning Areas prevented their kids from burning they realised that as taxpayers they were getting burned instead.

Women are appreciative of Tony’s post-natal policy for salary support but are pissed off by his view that they shouldn’t have a pre-natal choice of whether to qualify for it or not.

Kevin was strongly preferred as saviour of the world from global warming and the global financial crisis but Tony, as living proof that a celibate Abbott is an oxymoron, was thought to be a better bet for saving it from catholic priests.

Kevin was more popular amongst people like Poms who do everything with their clothes on while nudists are confident that Tony will be Australia’s first topless prime minister.

Kevin is rated favourite to become Australian’s first president while Tony’ intimate experiences with budgies is seen to put him ahead of Charles in the King of Australia pecking order.

Competition between Kevin and Tony is expected to intensify now there’s no Malcolm in the middle.