US Report by US Correspondent P.E. Doff

1. Claim to have nothing whatsoever to do with Obama especially if you’re a Democrat.
2. Be a member of the Tea Party and slightly mad.
3. Claim you served in Vietnam even if it was only Fort Worth.
4. Believe that Washington should be closed down.
5. Think that Sarah Palin is sexier than Nancy Pelosi.
6. Believe that Obamacare is a communist plot to ensure everyone gets their fair share of illness.
7. Be not intelligent enough to understand Obama’s policies.
8. Never read the New York Times.
9. Believe that Obama was born in a mosque in Indonesia.
10. Be politically incorrect.
11. Not been involved in more than two political scandals.
12. Not an illegal immigrant.
13. Believe that Obama’s stimulus package has worked wonders for China.
14. Tell Obama to ‘shove’ his endorsement.
15. Believe that Sarah Palin is Ronald Reagan’s lovechild.
16. Support Arizona in its campaign not to become part of Mexico.
17. Believe that Hillary would have made a better president after all.
18. Envy the Russians who can see Sarah Palin’s house from their country.
19. Never listen to National Public Radio.
20. Think that global warming is just another inaccurate weather forecast.
21. On second thoughts now realise that by comparison George W wasn’t all that bad.

P.E. Doff is currently staying in the room next to Lindsey Lohan.