Special Report on the US Mid-term elections by US Correspondent P.E. Doff

The most remarkable aspect of the US mid-term elections was the relatively low number of voters who contacted the Friday Mash Clinic for electoral brain damage treatment.

It’s true the electorate were mad but they were angry-mad rather than barking.

Obama was angry at the Republican Party who were angry at the Tea Party who were angry at Obama who was angry at the cocktail party at anyone who wasn’t intelligent enough to understand what a great president he was.

Nancy Pelosi was angry at everyone who was angry at her which was just about everyone.

The election posed a daunting choice for Americans. They could either vote for the Democrats if they want to live in a different sort of country, vote for the Republicans if they wanted to live in the same sort of country or vote for the Tea party if they felt lite government with a couple of lumps could make their cup runneth over.

Washington is on the nose. It’s possible no US government located there will ever win another election. Obama would improve his chances no end in 2012 by relocating the White House to the Arizona-Mexico border and guaranteeing the Hispanic vote by declaring it a sanctuary city.

Nancy Pelosi regards her loss of the Speaker’s gig as politically motivated. Thankfully the time has passed when she was two heartbeats away from the presidency and doing outrageous things likely to give anyone a coronary.

California voted ‘no’ in a referendum about legalising pot. Apparently the junkies couldn’t mobilise enough floating voters.

Commentators believed that even a corpse could beat the Tea Party senate candidate in Nevada. But to be fair it took a zombie like Harry Reid.

Obama admitted that the Democratic Party’s electoral problems stemmed from the fact he’d been in a White House bubble. There was general agreement that he blew it.

His strategy of burying George W Bush’s legacy by creating an immeasurably higher deficit appears to have backfired.

Richard Blumenthal made false claims about military service in Vietnam and still got elected to the Senate. The electorate perceived that he had at least one of the mandatory qualities of a politician.

The Republican Party is desperate to block Sarah Palin as a candidate for president in 2012. The Tea Party is bad enough but the Hockey Mums movement would really bring on a dogs breakfast especially if they weren’t wearing lipstick.

The Republicans now control the House, the Democrats control the Senate and Obama has the veto. The only man who can possibly bring them together is Osama bin Laden. Climate is apparently no longer a change Obama can afford to believe in.

You’ve got to feel sorry for all the Democrats who were voted out at the mid-term elections. They have simply joined all the other unemployed who are nicked off at the failure of Obama’s stimulus package.

P.E. Doff has been appointed to a Senate Inquiry into whether Obama should quit smoking and hit the sauce.