As a group of Hispanic illegals approached the Mexico Arizona border a flash of light streaked across the sky and came to rest on the wall which stood in their way.

Was it a terminator, a migrator or an hallucinator? No it was Palinpower.

‘Halt’ yelled Palinpower ‘you illegals cannot enter the United States without a valid visa’

‘Who the hell are you?’ gasped Luis who like all the others was somewhat stunned by this new style of border guard.

‘I am Palinpower’ she said ‘and I’m dedicated to restoring honour and pride in my country and not allowing it to be overrun by itinerant illegals like you’

‘But’ said Angel ‘we are destitute people simply seeking to do the shit jobs Americans don’t want and send a few dollars home to our families’

‘Baloney’ said Palinpower ‘you’re trying to steal jobs from Americans, swamp our social services, start a new crime wave and vote Democrat’

‘Obama needs workers like us’ said Jaime ‘to help make America great again’

‘Hogwash’ said Palinpower ‘you’ve stuffed up your own countries and now you want to come here and stuff up ours. Well no thank you, we’re full up’

‘But we’re pursuing our American Dream’ said Luis

‘Well you’ve found you worst nightmare’ said Palinpower ‘Hey you at the back, you look like a terrorist. We definitely don’t want people like you’

‘Actually’ said Antonio ‘I’m trying to join my family in Phoenix. My brother works for the Republican Party’

‘Did you hear that?’ asked Palinpower ‘That’s the sort of qualification the rest of you need to aim for. Now how many drug runners are there among you?’

‘None’ said Angel ‘they’re the very people we’re trying to get away from. We want the same opportunities in life that you enjoy’

‘Well you can’t have them’ said Palinpower ‘I was even a candidate for Vice-President of the United States’

‘Yes we know’ said Jaime ‘If you’d got the job we wouldn’t have been mad enough to try and get in’

‘If I’d got the job’ said Palinpower ‘you’d have had as much chance of entering the United States as the Chilean Mining Industry has of winning a world safety award’

‘We might even consider marrying your daughters’ said Antonio ‘if it wasn’t for the prospect of having you as a mother-in-law’

‘How dare you’ screamed Palinpower ‘you’ve got as much chance of marrying my daughtes as Bernie Madoff has of becoming Head of the World Bank. Now buzz off and stop trying to turn the United States into as big a disaster as your own backyard’

‘California’s already bankrupt’ said Luis ‘If it had more workers like us and less union members demanding pensions at forty it would have a lot better chance of restoring the honour and pride you’re bitching on about’

‘The Tea Party will save California’ said Palinpower ‘You lot can get on with restoring honour to Mexico, Bolivia and New Mexico. Don’t let me catch you round here again’

With that she was gone in a flash leaving the illegals to ponder if their fellow countrymen were peddling a new drug with a dramatic lift-off effect.