Understated
A former US Ambassador to Australia called Kevin a ‘mistake-prone control freak’. And that was putting it diplomatically.

Alternative Power Sources
The claim on Wikileaks that the unions are running Australia has been flatly denied both by the independents and Bob Brown.

Taking a Greater Interest
Wayne’s finding out what the rest of us know only too well. It’s impossible to get more bank for your buck.

Rip and Tear
Lifeguards have been instructed to be extra vigilant this summer in keeping people away from rips at the beach. This applies especially to Tony’s budgie smugglers.

Santa’s Slay
Dear Santa, I don’t want you to leave any presents for the NSW Government this year. Just give them the sack.

Extreme Sports
Sources say that for his future stabbings Mark Arbib has undertaken not only to spy on himself for the US Government but also, consistent with Julia’s freedom of information policy, to give a running commentary on Fox News.

A Maiden Over There
The Australian cricket selectors didn’t react quickly enough. Shane Warne got recalled by Liz Hurley instead.

People Smuggler Promotion
Oprah’s worldwide audience comprises both potential tourists to Australia and also asylum seekers. People smugglers have reacted to her Australian odyssey by recruiting extra staff.