Kiss Me Kate II

Hollywood was very disappointed that Will and Kate turned down a huge offer to make their honeymoon into a major motion picture. A studio executive complained that they were just another couple of young stars who expected to be treated like royalty.

Soft Porn

The pornography which Usama bin Laden enjoyed watching reportedly showed George W Bush with a collapsed erection at the World Trade Centre.

A Star isn’t Yet Born

In a recent poll voters said they would never vote for a Republican presidential candidate who:
- Said it was ‘not absolutely necessary to kill bin Laden’
- Has introduced healthcare reform
- Has cosied up to Nancy Pelosi in a climate change commercial
- Has got a job at Fox News
- Spends too much time at a Tea Party
- Is a total nonentity
- Has succeeded in wiping out the ‘birther’ movement

Urgent action is needed to unearth a new star before someone starts fertilising another Bush.

On a Hiding to Nothing

Gaddafi claims he’s in a place where no-one can find him. That’s what the Pakistan intelligence service told bin Laden.